The 2013 Atlanta Baby and Child Expo

THE premier event for expecting and new parents in the Southeast is gearing up for this year's expo!
Bringing in the ultimate in parenting and baby products and professionals, it’s an elite experience presented to you in an intimate setting.  It’s a party for you, the expectant, the new parent, the grandparent and the supporting cast of family and friends.

This yearly extravaganza is presented and organized by an experienced veteran of the event planning industry who also happens to be deeply entrenched in the baby business. Desiree Miller is founder of Bottles to Britches Premier Baby Planners, a company that helps connect expectant parents to the people and products they will rely on most in their new role. She teaches the exclusive Baby Dream Gear class and also is certified in Home Safety Hazards with the International Association for Child Safety.

Featuring hundreds of hot local and national vendors, the Atlanta Baby and Child Expo is the place to get hands on information, samples, and a little bit of pampering. This event features a Maternity Fashion Show, Red Carpet Photos of attendees as they enter, a Stroller Trial Track, Cravings Corner and so much more!

This year's expo will be taking place May 11th from 11am-3pm (VIP ticket holders get early entry, starting at 10:30am) in the Fox Theatre Ballrooms! Which, if you have never had the pleasure, The Fox ballrooms themselves are a sight! You can pick up your tickets and more details on the Atlanta Baby and Child Expo website. 

You can also enter to win two tickets below! Super easy way to get in on the action without breaking the piggy bank! 

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Finding Fitness Motivation

I am, by default, a fairly lazy person. I get my stuff done but then I like to relax and just hang out with the boys. We watch movies or play in the yard or read books on the couch. Not that we are sedentary, just not as active as we probably could be. As active as I should be at the very least. All you have to do is look at my wedding photos to see that.

Of course I have my "reasons" for letting myself go over the years. There are the health problems, the pregnancies, and the stress over money, jobs, kids, etc. There have been instances in my marriage that cause my self esteem to plummet, the lack of support from those close, and being generally busy keeping up with the boys. All of those things can lead you to gain weight but a big part of it is just because I simply lacked motivation.

Motivation is a tricky one for me in the corny sense of the word. I roll my eyes at motivational quotes and posters ("Nothing will taste as good as being skinny will feel"? Screw that, pass the Ben & Jerry's.). I take compliments and turn them into something I need to change. Self doubt is a big theme around here.

Thing is, I don't want my boys to see that. I don't want them to see my lack of confidence or lack of motivation and think that is how life works. If nothing else, having to scratch and claw my way out of the gutter I was left in for 2012 has taught me that sometimes, the only motivation you need is in your heart. My heart wants me to succeed for their sake but also for my own.

So, I have been taking those snippets of time when I would normally sit around and check Facebook or just dazing out into space, and lacing up the new running shoes I got for Christmas. Or encouraging the boys to do push ups with me in the bedroom floor. Or turning on some loud dance music and having a crazy dance party with glow sticks. Going outside to play with the hula hoops Aunti got the boys for Christmas. Something to get us moving, which usually leads to some other kind of shenanigan.

So far: I've lost 3lbs in 2 weeks.

Bonus: The boys love it. They love acting crazy with Mama. K loves to dance and sing and play. The running and exercises not so much, but he does make for a great, giggly weight for some of mine. Nothing like a 40lb weight on your back during a brisk walk to burn those calories! D, on the other hand, loves doing push ups and crunches with Mama and let me tell you what, he can be as discerning a personal trainer as any I have ever seen. "Do more Mama! C'mon! Don't stop now!", all the while he is pounding them out like a miniature body builder. How can I stop with him cheering me on?

How's that  for motivation? How could I not let him encourage me. They don't even know the health aspect, they just thinks its another fun thing to do with Mama. Their favorite kind of thing even. Which means that they ask to do those things with circles back around to more motivation! Heres hoping we can keep it up. If we can encourage each other, we may just make it!

My Boys See the Braves #ww

Yesterday, I surprised the boys.

With tickets to the Braves game at Turner Field

Considering D's recent obsession

We were all very excited

D was in awe of field

K was in awe of the unlimited peanuts

We watched the first 4 innings

From our fabulous seats

Until it started to rain

And rain, and rain, and rain.

And then... we splashed and played and hopped.

It was one of the best nights EVER.

*A huge thank you to the Alpharetta CVB for giving us the tickets and parking pass!

On Weaning

My monster, at just shy of 26 months, has decided he is done breastfeeding. I am doing surprisingly okay with that most of the time but sometimes it still burns. I just want one more time. One more snuggle. One more sleepy gaze.

K has always been a good nurser. He was eager for it the second he was born. He latched on and got right into it. He nursed like a champ through his NICU stay and just kept right on going when we got home. Some would say it was because I was experienced already and that made it easy but I think he was just as determined as I was to make breastfeeding work for us.

When he was a tiny, new baby he squeaked when he nursed like a little rubber duck. It was the most adorable sound I have ever heard. Suck-suck-SQUEAK. It made nursing him in public a tad bit more obvious but what can you do? I mostly just pretended to not noticed the loud, squeaking sounds coming out of him while we were out and if people dared to stare, I would just stare right back.

He loved to nurse and when he was sad or hurt he nursed purely for comfort. Something his brother never did. I lived for the times he would melt into my chest and relax immediately to nurse. It was like a drug to him though he never did really fall asleep while nursing. It was all business until he was full and then it was bippy time. Some days here lately he would just snuggle down into my chest and talk to me. I guess, even though he didn't want to nurse, the snuggles were still enough comfort and that is okay with me too.

Besides there are good things about it. I can get some normal bras. I can hopefully stop waking up in a puddle. At least I hope. It's been almost five years of crazy lactation and I can definitely say I'm ready to dry up just a little. It will be nice to not have to carry around spare breastpads everywhere I go in case one of the boys does something cute or a baby cries or one of the other things that makes me leak like a cut hose happens. Ah, the joys over overproduction.

Then I think about the downside. Which mostly consists of my overwhelming mama emotions of my baby growing up. He doesn't need to nurse any more equals big kid and I don't like the thought of that one little bit. He is supposed to stay little forever. Oh, it hurts to think that he is too big to nurse. Self weaning is a gift that I have always given my boys but it doesn't make the emotions for me fo away.

I thought about pumping for him. I could. I did. For D. I pumped him breastmilk pretty regularly for about a year after he weaned. Well, weaned off me I guess. (How does that work anyway? He double weaned? Whatever.) I guess the thought of pulling out that pump again after all this time just kind if makes me gag a little. Or maybe more than a little.

Either way, we're done. Its time to move on to bigger adventures with a bigger boy. Who knows, maybe some day I will get to breastfeed again. Maybe someday. Until then, I have nothing but amazing memories of nursing my boys and even if K is my last, Its been a good run.

Family Fun Extravaganza

A Wordless Wednesday Slideshow...

Wearing My Babies: A Story and Call to Action!

I have written before about babywearing. I have always been an advocate for it and know first hands its benefits. I started wearing D when he was about two weeks old. He was tiny and so snuggly but I needed to get some stuff done. The automatic answer to me was babywearing. I could put him in the wrap we had at the time and I could do everything I needed to do, skin to skin with my precious little man.

Over the next year, there were days where I would wear him and he would cry when I took him out. We went from wrap to meitai to ring sling as he grew. Each time it took a few days for both of us to get used to the switch but it worked out just fine. He so much preferred to be worn than to sit in the nasty carts and sometimes he preferred the comfort of the carriers to just being carried.

I continued to wear D while I was pregnant with K and never slowed down. With a huge belly and a 30 pound toddler strapped to my back I definitely drew a lot of attention. Why would I give up something that we both loved? I didn't give up nursing him while I was pregnant, why would I give up wearing him. Not to mention it was way easier on my back to wear him than have to jut my hip out to hold him that way. It just made sense.

When K was born, he took a turn in the NICU. He spent almost all of his time snuggled up to my chest doing Kangaroo Care and he got quite used to being there, all snuggled up and warm, listening to my heartbeat. When we got home, he expected the same rock star treatment and he got it. I wore him a lot more in the first weeks that I did D. Every morning when we would get up he would go straight into the wrap. I could tend to his brother, and he got the snuggles and kisses he wanted. Everywhere we went, everything we did, K was worn.

He still is for the most part but now that he is getting bigger, he likes to be down. He enjoys sitting in the shopping cart more than D ever did. Mostly because that way he gets to watch and play games with his brother. Still though, if we are going somewhere as a family, one or the other or both of the boys still gets worn. Strollers are just too cumbersome for a family on the go.

Baby-wearing has always just been the norm for us. Its not something I talk about too much here although I have in the past. Its just what we do with our babies.

So, why bring it up now? Well, it is under attack. The Consumer Product Safety Commission (CPSC) is trying to regulate the baby-wearing industry. By doing so, they are taking away our options. They are trying to take away the small carrier makers that are the heart and soul of the practice. They are trying to undermine the research that shows that baby-wearing is beneficial and safe.

They have attacked a (so far unnamed) baby carrier company and forced them to stop production and have ordered them to destroy their inventory without any reasons or cite-able studies as to why. The scary thing is, they don't need a reason. They can do this just because they are the CPSC. The further problem is if they can do this to one company, they will do it to them all in time.

I know I speak for a lot of families that can say they stand firm behind baby-wearing and every thing that goes with it. One of those things is safety, yes, but that is something that lies with the parent using the product correctly, not something that can be mandated by a meddling government program.

So, what can you do? Same as I am doing along with lots of other awesome bloggers.

1. Join the Baby Carrier Industry Alliance on Facebook and join together with other outraged parents and see what you can do from there.

2. Blog, blog, blog. Tweet, tweet, tweet. Spreading the word is the best thing anyone can do right now. Even if you are not a baby-wearing parent, this is still something that can affect you, your readers, or your family. This is small business under attack and being bullied. Also, you can link up your post with Stephanie at Adventures in Baby-wearing for the chance to win a Sakura Bloom sling. Spread the word!

I hope that you can all understand why this is important to me. Baby-wearing isn't just how I carry my babies. Its a bonding thing. Its a trust thing. Its a safety thing. It has been safe for generations of parents around the world. Its a choice that I have made for my family and it is something that is in danger of being revoked by a program that refuses to give answers as to why it is taking that stance. Is that something that anyone would be okay with?

Feel free to add in your own stories in the comments, or if you do blog about this let me know! I would love to come by and read your stories. Also, don't forget to link up your post with Adventures In Babywearing to enter for your chance to wim!

Wean Me Gently

I have already started getting the comments.


The "How is weaning going?"


Or "You are still breastfeeding??"


My answer? "Yes, he is. He will wean when he is done, I'm not worried."


My baby boy is not even a year old yet and already people are trying to push their crazy standards on us. People thought I was crazy last time too though so I guess I can't really expect people have changed or grown up. They would be appalled if they knew that I still give my (almost) three year old pumped milk too. I am okay with that though. I am not doing it for them.


Breastfeeding for me has been magical. I have been nursing for almost three years straight at this point, short the six weeks between when D weaned and when K was born, and I wouldn't trade it for the world. You can imagine the looks I got nursing a toddler at 8 months pregnant but somehow, it was just natural. It was us. It has always been easy for me and I know I am extremely lucky. I have never struggled with thrush or pain or low supply. In fact, I have always had the opposite problem with supply. One could say I have a plethora of milk. I still leak overnight and K has slept 12 hours since 3 weeks old. That, my friends, is absurd.


The thing is, I think nursing my babies has meant as much to me as it does to them. We are comfort to each other in a way that just can't be explained. Its a bond that knows no boundaries. I crave that feeling of love. I look forward to our time spent together, just him and me. When D weaned himself, I remember being so sad. Every nursing that he dropped, I would cry and then when he just stopped one day, I was heartbroken. A weird thing to feel I guess to some people but for us, breastfeeding has always been more than just food. We have just found other ways to get that connection. That warm fuzzy love.


K will be a year old in a week and is showing no signs of slowing down with his booby love and that makes me happy. I hope we can make it to two but really, its up to him. Weaning should be baby's choice. I just hope when the time comes, we are both at peace with it.

Wean Me Gently
by Cathy Cardall

I know I look so big to you,

Maybe I seem too big for the needs I have.

But no matter how big we get,
We still have needs that are important to us.
I know that our relationship is growing and changing,
But I still need you. I need your warmth and closeness,
Especially at the end of the day
When we snuggle up in bed.
Please don't get too busy for us to nurse.
I know you think I can be patient,
Or find something to take the place of a nursing;
A book, a glass of something,
But nothing can take your place when I need you.
Sometimes just cuddling with you,
Having you near me is enough.
I guess I am growing and becoming independent,
But please be there.
This bond we have is so strong and so important to me,
Please don't break it abruptly.
Wean me gently,
Because I am your mother,
And my heart is tender.

Fresh squeezed K, startin' his addiction.

Links

I have a Facebook page. Really, who doesn't? Recently some of my friends have posted some really awesome links to articles and blogs. If you know me, you know the kind of articles I like. Articles about breastfeeding and attachment parenting in general but also safety and info on the "greener" side.

Seeing as how I have had a brain crushing migraine for the past six days and it continues this morning (yes, I called the doctor), I figured I would share some of those sites with you and some of my personal favorites (No meat here today guys. My brains hurt.). I divided them into sections and I hope all of you can find something that is of use to you!



Attachment Parenting:

First, if you are looking for some awesome information or resources Attachment Parenting International (API) is the place to go. You will find tons of information on gentle parenting and lots of articles about why AP is what so many people are choosing over more old fashioned parenting techniques. There is a little for everyone here, breast or bottle feeders, stay at home or working parents. There is also an entire section dedicated to older children and teens and the challenges that go along with those age groups. Attachment never stops.

Second, of course, would be Dr. Sears. Tons of advice here guys. Almost too much. I have seen a few times conflicting articles on the same subject here. To some AP people Dr. Sears is the know all, end all but there are some things I disagree with. Won't get into that but either way, a great resource and starting point for the AP lifestyle.

Then, an article on breastfeeding support called "The Simplest Breastfeeding Advice I Know" by an inspiring blogger Birthing Beautiful Ideas. If you have been around awhile, you know how I feel about this one. If you haven't been around for awhile, start here. I think this article can be applied to so much more than breastfeeding though. Being a new mom or even an expecting mom is so hard. Women need the encouragement and so often they don't get it. I am a very lucky woman and T has always been very supportive of and involved in making sure our breastfeeding relationships worked and lasted. He is a huge supporter of babywearing and developing secure attachment with our boys too. So, if you know a new mom or even an experienced mom, encourage her to keep breastfeeding. Encourage her that she is doing a great job. Its so important to success.

For baby wearing info, there is only one place to go, The Baby Wearer. Information on types of carriers, benefits, safety and even an awesome forum to connect with other like minded parents. Can't be beat.

If you are a baby wearing parent and you haven't seen this video... do. Its called Baby Mamas (Put a sling on 'em). Done to that crappy Beyonce song's tune, its campy. Its corny. Its hilarious.


Greeny:

For those of you wondering "Why go green?", Planet Green.com (a division of Discovery) has the answers for you. Check out the sublinks there for way more info than any of you probably care to read. If you do care though, there is some really great stuff there. The "By The Numbers" article blew me away!

For those of you that are thinking of, or already do, cloth diaper your little ones, the Diaper Jungle has an awesome information guide.They also have a ton of information about sewing your own diapers, reviews of brands, articles and a section devoted to helping WAHMs get their businesses out there.

For reviews of diapers and businesses there is Diaper Pin. I always check this site before I buy anything new or from a new company. Lots of good info. They have a sales and announcements section to that is worth checking out from time to time just to see whats on sale where.

If you are thinking, "why cloth", the Real Diaper Association has a totally awesome documented facts list (with sources) for you to peruse. It lists the reasons by factor and honestly, there are some that really compelling, and some that are kind of like... meh, who cares. Still though, a great resource.

Looking for a great, inexpensive green cleaner? We use hydrogen peroxide. Yep, like the stuff in your medicine cabinet. You can use it on just about anything, it disinfects and it gets things clean. What else could you ask for? Check here for a ton of uses and benefits. We also use the powdered form (sodium percarbonate) a ton too. I get the Sun brand because its super cheap and works wonders. I have used H2O2 on pretty much everything and have never been disappointed including occasional use on my diapers. Who says going green can't be cheap?

Of course, there some things we use vinegar on instead. Like our windows and glass, to unclog drains, greasy nasties and removing smells. It can be used as a rinsing agent in diapers as well to help break down the ammonia salts (from pee) and prevent build up. It is quite acidic though and doesn't disinfect like you sometimes need with two little kids running around.

Speaking of vingear, did you know that apple cider vinegar has a ton of health benefits? I know alot of you will say "ewwww" to it but trust me, the benefits are worth it (Meghan). I have used it to clear up sinus infections on myself and its like magic. I can feel a difference after one (very diluted) glass. It can be used to clean your hair, also called "No poo". It is a powerful, natural weight loss tool. Can be used to aid with things like diabetes and acid reflux too.

For general green information, check out Healthy Child, Healthy World. This is a great site if you are new to green or are trying to convince someone to be green. They have info on chemicals and their effects that will make your skin crawl. The blog section is always updated with the latest stories so its worth bookmarking. They also have a get involved section with tons of way for you to be active in trying to better the world inside and outside you community.

Safety:

First, a website called Keep Kids Healthy has a basic primer for new parents on keeping kids safe. Scary, but there are some people that don't even know the basics.

Second, an article from The Stir called "9 lifesaving Car Seat Rules You're Probably Ignoring". Guys, this is serious stuff. If you aren't using your car seat correctly, there could be dire consequences. I see so many kids and babies whose car seats aren't being used properly and it seriously scares me. Numbers 4 and 6 are the biggest culprits around here for sure. Take some time and check this one out even if you don't look at anything else.

Also, on the car seat front, there are a lot of websites and articles out there stressing the importance of keeping your kids rear- facing as long as possible. This is a pretty sensitive subject. There are people that insist their kid just isn't happy rear facing so they turn them ASAP, no matter what is safest. Then there are the people that think the other people should be ruled child abusers. I am somewhere in the middle. My kids are safest rear facing? Check, they will rear face as long as possible. I actually just replaced our seats in February after I totaled our van and bought the Radian XTSL for both boys (highly recommend them!). I had already turned D around before the wreck because he hit the weight limit of the one he was in but I still toy with turning him back to rear facing since the seat goes to 45lbs that way. Maybe one day I'll try it and see what he thinks. Anyway (sorry for the ramble, told you my brains are fried), Car Safety. org has a ton of info in general about car seats including this article about extended rear facing and its benefits. It also has a basic info page and an awesome FAQ page.

The internet was all a-buzz recently over baby wearing safety because of those stupid Infantino slings. Saying things that educated baby wearers had been saying for years about the bag type slings. As a matter of fact, the Infantino slings had been the bane of our existence so to speak. People would see you wearing your baby, and no matter what kind of carrier you were actually using, they would be all "You know those got recalled right? Baby wearing is dangerous." STFU unless you know what you are talking about people. For reals. Anyway, (sore spot much??) I thought I would share some info on safe baby wearing practices with you, so people can stop accosting me in the supermarket. Babywearing International has a great basic safety page that everyone that even carries their baby should read. They also have a newborn safety page that is great for new moms and dads that will be wearing their babies. The big lesson here is to always remember the rule "close enough to kiss" and keeping baby's chin up, not tucked in (both of which the evil Infantinos ignored). You should always be able to kiss your baby on the head without using your hands.


Ok, thats it for now. If you have any to share, please either email me or post them here. I love researching things to death and I love reading new things. I may even add them here.

Breastfeeding: Join the Boob-olution!

I love this video so I thought I would share. It made me giggle and its so true. Its so worth sticking with for so many different reasons.

World Breastfeeding Week

If you have been around long at all, you know that I am a big breastfeeding advocate. I love to talk about it and encourage other women. I am a CLC with my local women's center and WIC office and would love to someday become board certified. Its the one thing that women can do to protect their children from a myriad of illnesses and diseases. It is not something I talk about on my blog all too often but is something I am very passionate about. This week, along with the La Leche League International (LLL) and The World Alliance for Breastfeeding Action (WABA’s), I am celebrating World Breastfeeding week. I decided I would give you a look into our story.

Before I ever got pregnant with D, I started researching. I am one of those people that looks into everything almost to death. I love to know everything about whatever it is I am working on and babies were no exception. The more I read, the more I knew that breastfeeding was best for my babies and I became determined to make it work. I got pregnant in December of 2006 and was so excited. I immediately bought a million books and spent all of my time online reading and soaking in everything I could on the subject of birthing and breastfeeding. I had been a nanny for many years, so the rest didn't concern me. T was right there with me on it and was determined to support me. Our families, however, were not supportive. They were the typical, "you'll switch to formula quickly" and "how am I going to get to feed the baby" type of nay sayers. I mostly just ignored them all but there were times where I would call T at work bawling because some one had gone too far.

Nursing D on the jaundice light.

Fast forward till September and D was due. Then D was overdue. Eventually I ended up being induced for low fluid and there was concern he was getting too big. It was a fairly uneventful labor of just under ten hours. About 6 hours in, I opted for an epidural because the back labor plus the pitocin was intense. When I started to push, they realized two things. He was coming out sunny side up (face up) and he was quite large for a first baby. D entered the world in his own, upside down fashion, at a full 9lbs, 1oz on September 15th, 2007, 10:58pm. He was beautiful and perfect. He went straight to my breast like I had heard was so important and nursed until my placenta was born about twenty minutes later. Then they cut the cord and took him to check him out. Once we made it upstairs, I was exhausted but we kept right on with the nursing through the night and into the next morning. When the nurses would come in the kept saying that if he started losing too much, he would have to have formula. When jaundice set in, they told us he might have to have formula. I told them to kiss my ass. Five days later we went home with a healthy, at birth weight baby boy who had not tasted anything but my milk.

D was a happy nurser. He was always glad to see his supply when they appeared but hardly ever fussed for it. I chose to take it in stages. At first, I would be happy with 6 weeks, then it was 3 months, and 6 months and so on. As we sailed through those milestones with no sign of him giving it all up, I was optimistic we would make it my goal age of 2 years before we considered weaning.

In December of 2008, I got pregnant with K. That was a surprise but one that we were super excited about. It never crossed my mind that I would wean D while I was pregnant and thankfully, my midwife was all for us continuing. At that point, he was down to only nursing 3 or 4 times a day anyway. He never seemed to notice a drop in my supply or if he did, it didn't bother him. We did, however, face opposition again from our parents. The didn't see why it was so important to me to continue past 6 months much less past a year while pregnant. Then there were the crazies out in public who gave the strangest looks and said the rudest things. People really don't think before hey speak sometimes do they?

When I hit 32 weeks of pregnancy, D started to lose interest. Quickly. He would nurse here and there for a week but then he just stopped. I figured out that that is when my milk changed back to colostrum. I was still leaking a mix of both for weeks. Until about a week before K was born actually. Sigh. I was a mix of devastated and relieved. I wasn't ready for him to be done, but he had decided himself he was, so I knew I had done all I could.

My K, an hour old.

At 38 weeks gestation, I was induced again. There was concern about his size, and mine. (I was flipping huge people. It was almost comical.) I went into his birth determined, again, to have a natural delivery. This labor progressed even more quickly than the last. At 10:55 they started my labor. I took a nap for an hour and a half. Then, I was just starting to feel pain while talking to my bestie online. One expletive and five minutes later, I had a baby trying to slide out of me. I didn't even have to push, I just sat up. K made a pretty quick and dramatic entrance into the world, in true Hulk baby style on September 14th, 2009 at 1:38pm. After a just shy of 3 hour labor. Again, he went straight to my breast. He was another lotus baby and nursed until my placenta was born about fifteen minutes later. He was a lot more avid about it from the get go. He wanted boobs and he wanted them now. Eventually they took him away to clean and weigh him. 8lbs, 9oz. They were right, he would have been huge at 40 weeks.

While they were checking him out, they notice a tremor in his limbs that was indicative of low blood sugar. Many tests later and about an hour later, it was still low so off to the NICU we went. The next three days were a whirlwind of nursing and kangaroo care and heel pricks and tears and exhaustion but in the end, we left the hospital with a healthy, only breastfed little boy. He has always been a bit more pushy about nursing that D was. He has no patience in general so when he is hungry, he wants it now. Here we are almost 11 months later and I still have a little booby monster. Will we make it to two years? I think so. If we go farther, even better.

So, thats it. In short anyway. I have never been a shy nurser. Not a cover up for other peoples comfort (besides, I'm sorry but those nursing covers attract way more attention) or a hide in the other room type person. I have been lucky enough to have to awesome experiences with breastfeeding but I do know that sometimes, people aren't so lucky. It is, however, well worth the struggle. I see so many women through the WIC office that give up before it gets started and that makes me sad. I wish that everyone could experience the wonders of breastfeeding.

I would love to hear your story too in honor of WBW. Blog or comments. Please, though, don't come here and advocate the use of formula. Respect me and I will respect you.

An Update

I'm not sure if anyone remembers the lady that I met in the Irish Pub here in town a bit back. I just thought I would let you all know, that I did hear back from her. She called me early last week and told me that she had found my phone number on the napkin in her purse and decided to give me a call*. The good news: She is still nursing! She said she had finally told her husband to shut it and he pretty much had. She said he still wasn't what she would call supportive but that he at least wasn't as ugly to her anymore. She said her family had sort of laid off too. They mostly just don't mention anything "feeding the baby" related to her at all and it has been working out pretty well that way. They finally stopped dropping by with supplies, too.

The bad news: With all the stress and returning to work, her supply dropped quite a bit. She said she still had a little bit of milk in her freezer but she just wasn't pumping enough. I gave her the name of a few things that should help her boost her supply in general and shared some tips on improving what she gets from pumping but I also gave her the name of my lactation consultant supervisor and told her to try to get in touch with her. She mentioned thinking about supplementing with formula until she got it back up and I agreed. You can't let your baby starve, but I encouraged her to not give up on pumping unless she was ready to be done nursing and she said she would do everything she could.

So, thats it. Things are looking up for her! That is great news to me! Even with the impending threat of supplementation (which she doesn't want to do btw, its not just me being all crazy). I told her she was welcome to call me anytime and invited her to our playgroup but something tells me I won't hear from her again. Maybe it was something in the way she said bye or maybe its just the inevitable cycle I already see coming. If I do, though, I'll let you know!

(*I did ask her about blogging this and she said it was fine, just not to use her name.)

CNN breastfeeding report

If you have not read it yet, DO. You can read it HERE. It reports on things that the breastfeeding community has known for years. Some how having a major new source has validated it and people are starting to actually listen! The benefits to breastfeeding your baby are astounding and the argument that formula is "just as good" is taking hit after hit here recently. Babies are dying of illnesses that can be lessened or eradicated just be breastfeeding. Especially in premature babies. Granted there are women out there who actually can not breastfeed but those reasons are so few and far between.  As women we need to stand together and encourage each other to breastfeed for the health of our babies. We also, however, need our health care system to get behind us as well. I consider this article a call to action! Who is with me??

*sigh* and *gasp* and *sigh* again.

Today, even though its early still, has been such a ride of emotions. Started out good enough. I slept in with K and T came and took D to school. Once K and I got up we went to Target for some last minute Easter supplies and then to pick up his big brother. Argued with T over the phone about something or another. Was late to preschool. Again. Same as usual I suppose.

After I picked up D from his class we went down to visit my mom, who works just down the hall, and she was talking about how she was hungry and wanted to go get something to eat. I was game since I had not remembered to eat yet and we agreed to head over to the new Irish pub across the street. We got there and got seated and I noticed a woman sitting in a booth a few down from us and saw her little baby and smiled. She looked young to me but like she had the baby thing down. The baby, a little girl, was obviously a young baby, maybe a month old, but a total cutie. We went on about our lunch, which was less than adequate for the record, and my mom and me caught up on the last few days.

As I finished my lunch, I looked up and saw that the woman was now nursing her little one, something that always gives me that warm fuzzy feeling. Hooray for boobies! She looked up and caught my eye and I smiled at her. She quickly looked away and got red in the face. Not an unusual response. One I get pretty often. I got up in a few minutes to go to the bathroom and noticed she was alone. When I got to her booth I stopped and simply said "Good for you nursing your baby girl! She is so worth it, huh?". Thats when things took a turn.

The woman looked at me, smiled and then burst into tears. I'm talking crocodile tears rolling down this woman's face. I was flabbergasted. I had no idea what I had said to her to make her cry and I almost just walked away. Almost. Instead I told her I was sorry and asked what was wrong. She tried to gather herself and apologized profusely and pulled a "its nothing really" on me. I sat down across from her and asked if everything was going well with nursing and all that goes along with it. Explained about the CLC thing I am doing and asked if I could help with anything. She assured me that nursing was going well.

"Its just, when I saw you staring, I though you were going to be angry. I just knew you were going to tell me I shouldn't be nursing here."

"Why on earth would you think that??"

"My family and my husband think that what I am doing is disgusting and they refuse to be around when I nurse her. I guess all that negativity has made me paranoid." She shrugged.

Flabbergasted again. She went on to tell me about how her husband had left her at the hospital because she wouldn't cave and give the baby formula and how he had stopped insulting her about it but he still refused to sit with her in public. He told her that she was disgusting and that he didn't want the whole world to see him with her while she nursed. He had apparently been sitting with her when we sat down to eat but left before she nursed her little one to "save face". I had not even noticed the bastard. She said her mother was constantly bringing formula cans by "for when she gets real" and telling her she is being immature.

I was so hurt for this woman. How could anyone be so heartless to treat someone they love that way? To make them feel cheap and dirty for doing something so innocent? Not even considering the benefits of breastfeeding but just the emotional abuse this woman is going through. Maybe its linked to never being "enough" as a child, or maybe it really is the lactivist in me, but who is going to stand up here and say that it isn't okay for her to be discriminated against by her own family? The people that are supposed to be there for her no matter what. What is wrong with people??

Maybe I am spoiled. I am lucky enough to have a husband that supports me fully in nursing. He did his own research and agreed that it was the best thing for us as a family and he has been there for me every step of the way. He was my rock those long first nights when it would have been simpler just to give them formula. He stood up for me when our families told us I was selfish for nursing and vehemently disagreed when they pulled the "formula is just as good" card. He puts his babies first and supports me when I have to feed in the most public of places. He is my rock. How could a man that loved me not be? I count my lucky stars every day. Today it will be double.

I commended her again for having the guts to stand up to him about doing what is best for her baby. I told her stories about getting nasty looks and comments about nursing D (a toddler *gasp*) while I was obviously pregnant with K (double *gasp*). I shared the struggles I have had with my family and how we all had to compromise to make sure my babies got to breastfeed. I gave her my phone number and my email address and urged her to give me a call. I left feeling raw inside. Feeling angry. I gave her my support the best I could but something tells me that this poor woman will eventually cave. To the pressure or her husband or family or even to just the general vibe non nursing mothers put off. They say the breastfeeders are the judgmental ones but in reality they are the ones who cause the problems. They are here and they are for so many women. The judgement for doing something outside of their own comfort zone.

So, here I sit, still processing. Wondering what I should have said or done differently. How I could have helped her better. Did she even want to be helped? I do know that I would still have said something to her, just like I always do, so does it matter that I caught her in a moment of weakness? Maybe not but I can hope that maybe, just maybe, it meant something to her to know she isn't alone. That there are people out there that think she is awesome. At least for the little bit of time we spent talking.  I guess we will see.


*Notice~ Blogger comments aren't working tonight for some reason. Some kind of glitch. If your comments please try again later! I love reading them but blogger is freaking out!

Breastfeeding in the USA

I was out the other day with my family, eating dinner and nursing K. We were just having dinner as usual, chatting away, when I looked up and saw a woman "feeding" her baby and giving me the stink eye. By "feeding" I mean she was working on propping a bottle up on a towel for her baby, who was obviously too young to hold the bottle itself, while he sat in his bucket seat next to her chair. Now, I'm not sure why I was getting the stink eye but believe me, it was definitely directed at me and my nursing baby. I don't know this woman's story. Maybe she tried to breastfeed and really couldn't because of physical incapability or maybe she was just to lazy or maybe it was pumped milk she was giving baby in the bottle (still, she could have cuddled baby while feeding). I met her gaze and waited for her to break it like I usually do, I have nothing to be ashamed of, and I didn't think about it again until later that day. Then, I got to thinking and wondering about the United States and how we compared to other countries on the breastfeeding front. Yes, I am THAT big of a nerd. I love statistics.

I had learned a little about it in the CLC class I took a few weeks ago but it was a very condensed and only have the stats from the US. So of course I turned to Google. The CDC actually had a good bit of information percentage wise but it was still a little outdated. The WHO though had a searchable feature which is a nerd's paradise. Turns out that the US isn't doing as bad as I would have thought. Turns out that 73.9% of babies here were ever breastfed and the average age of weaning is six months. Here are some other countries stats for comparison.

Albania~ 92% (ever), 16m (average weaning age)
Denmark~ 98%, 6m
Italy~ 64%, 3m
Spain~ 78%, 3m
India~ 99%, <4 YEARS!
Australia~ 98%, 3m
Ethiopia~ 98%, 24m
Egypt~ 96%, 18m

So, we aren't the LOWEST. Which is honestly where I thought we might be. I would love to have reported that we had a higher than 90% ever rate but I guess that should just motivate me to get out there and be a good example. I am actually proud to say that most of my friends breastfed their babies for various amounts of time and lets face it, ANY breastfeeding is better than NO breastfeeding. Stink eye looks or not, I know whats best and I am not afraid to tell anyone who will listen (maybe that is why I don't have many exclusive formula feeding friends). The problem is finding people who are willing to listen. I love having the freedom to speak my mind without penalty but that does not mean that people WILL listen. Every one has their "reason" ranging from a real, physical issue to pure immaturity. Maybe someday America will catch up with the other nations with higher rates. I personally would love to just see a higher percentage of babies ever nursed. Colostrum is literally the perfect first food. For now though, I will do the best I can with encouragement to others and doing the best I can to fight the urge to give the stink eye to the bottle propping generation. Who knows, maybe I really can change the world. (LOL)

Merry Christmas to all!

I hope everyone has had a very merry day! We have had a couple. Hence the non posting (sorry!). So here goes what we've been up to... Bear with me.

Christmas eve morning we woke up and I nursed K in our room while T cooked us all a beautiful breakfast of eggs, bacon, hot chocolate and toast and D slept a little more. D woke up right as breakfast was finished so we got him up and changed and ate our breakfast. After we had cleaned up we opened our presents as a family around our tree with the TV fireplace on (shut it, better than nothing and cheaper than a real one). D was so excited about all the presents and had a blast just playing around in the floor in our living room going from toy to toy. We even did some finger painting and watercolor painting with his new art stuff. After awhile we ate a quick lunch and put him and Kai down for their nap a little early so we could make it to the town Christmas eve party.

While the boys napped T and I rushed around and got everything packed and in the car so we were ready to rush out when they got up. I ended up getting about an hours nap and woke up right when the town party was supposed to start. We decided to go ahead and try to make it down there for at least a few minutes even though we were late. We got the boys up and rushed out the door to make it to the celebration only about half an hour late. Not bad for us. It was a pretty neat little party. We ended up running into a girlfriend of mine and her family and got to visit with them for a few. They have a little boy a little bit younger than D and they were so excited to see each other. I had yet another person give me the grand inquisition about my wrap that i was wearing K in. Was able to give her the info to make her own though because she was concerned about the price of a new one. Then, I nursed K on a bench there in the park, listening to the band play Christmas music and it was so peaceful. My snuggley little monster all curled up into me and watching the two big boys play in the "snow" they had there. It was a quiet, peaceful kind of moment.

After we left there, we drove around town for a few minutes and looked at Christmas lights. It was nice but we were getting hungry so we went on ahead to T's parent's house. We had a good time there eating the traditional Danish Christmas feast and talking about various things with his family. We opened our presents and played with the boys. D was so excited about the presents and getting to see his Pawpaw and Grandma. By the time we had to leave, we were all exhausted. Fat and happy but exhausted.

We went to my mom's after that to sleep and wait for Santa. When we got to her house, D went pretty much straight to sleep. He was so tuckered out, the poor little thing. K just snuggled with his Aunti and his Nana while "Santa" set up all of the toys he was leaving for the boys. Santa doesn't wrap gifts around here, he just sets them up and leaves them. Then we wrap the gifts from us. Once that was done, we all attempted to go to sleep. K went right to sleep as usual. My mom, right to sleep. T and I? Went to sleep for about an hour and a half and then woke up on a flat air mattress on the floor. Not particularly ideal but we made it work. I really didn't sleep very much but by eight o'clock I was so excited for the boys that it didn't matter.

D got up about nine and we got K up too. D was so stinkin' excited when he saw all the toys gathered around the tree. First he saw the big dinosaur that was there and I thought he might just have a heart attack. He was SO excited. He ran straight to it and started petting it and turned it on. He played with that for a long time before he moved on to some of the other things. K really liked the puppy toy that Santa got him too. He layed and cooed at it for a while and then he tried out the jumperoo for a bit. He loved looking at the lights and listening to the music.  We just watched to boys play while mom cooked breakfast. After we had eaten we started on the wrapped gifts. D was so funny waiting while everyone opened their gifts. He would stand in from of them and watch but he really liked to be invited to help. He was so excited. I think he said more new words today then he ever has in one day before. He wasted no time either. As soon as one was open, he was on to the next. He was a present unwrapping pro.

We spent the rest of today napping and eating and playing and watching movies. We are home now and it is so wonderful to have spent some quality time with our families but I do have to say it feels good to know that we have no where to go in the morning. We were supposed to go to my dad's for Christmas but he is stuck in the mountains so we have to reschedule. So tomorrow D, K and I will all be hanging around the house, playing with our toys and chillin. Come on by if you are in the neighborhood. I'll have some nice hot chocolate for you.

I hope that everyone gets to experience Christmas through the eyes of a child. It really does make it even more magical. The whole season is more exciting, more joyous with little ones around. Merry Christmas to all of you and yours from all of us!

A few of my favorite things...

These are seven things I really just can't live with out as a parent. Call me crazy or call me genius but don't knock it 'till you've tried them.

1. Amber jewelry. The teething necklace we bought for D when he was a baby has been an absolute LIFE. SAVER. I don't believe in giving young children any type of drugs or medicines if there is a natural alternative so these have been absolutely perfect. The heat from your child's body releases oils in the amber which carry succinic acid. I can tell a difference in his pain level and attitude literally within minutes of putting it on him no matter what ails him. It also has immune boosting properties that apparently do their job quite well considering he has never had more than the sniffles. A definite must have for any momma. I have always ordered mine from Inspired by Finn on Hyenacart. They have always had fast shipping and quality necklaces. My husband even tried to break D's necklace and couldn't!

2. Hot Heart Massager from Pure Romance by Meghan. Ok, so I haven't had this little thing long but it definitely has all the makings of a favorite. It looks so simple but its so nice. Basically you snap a little disk inside a thick plastic heart filled with goo and a chemical reaction happens (like my technical terms?) which heats for eight billion uses. Then you can boil it an reuse it! It heats up a lot warmer than you might think too. I have used it on sore muscles, charley horses, neck aches, and cold feeties so far and its been great. The best part it doesn't get TOO hot to the point you have to put something between it and you to prevent burns. I have always used corn filled bags like these for my aches, pains and cramps but it doesn't heat evenly and get s way hot so, so far the hot heart is winning. Still haven't used it on menstrual cramps though so we shall see.

3. Sleepy Wrap. This thing was my absolute saving grace with my newborns. I think I can best describe it as feeling like you are wearing your baby in a T shirt. Super comfy, stretchy and no pressure points. I love wraps in general because of their versatility but the Sleepy Wrap really is the best for the newborn stage because of the stretch. Its made our of thick jersey material so it holds baby well in place but not as tight to you as a woven wrap. Plus they are super easy to nurse in and have several different positions you can put baby in. D was an upright kind of baby, K was a cradle hold kind of baby. They really do start to sag when baby hits about fifteen pounds though. Which would be fine except my babies tend to hit that early (both of them at or before three months). At that point we switch to either our Meitai or the woven wrap I made. 

4. Bravado nursing bras. I used these bras when I was nursing D and they all still look and feel like brand spanking new. Their original bra was the only one I have found that didn't start to sag after a few uses and a saggy bra is of no use. When I went shopping for nursing bras with K I bought a couple of their Body Silk bras and ohmygoodness.. HEAVEN! I swear this is the most comfortable bra I have ever owned. Its really like not even wearing one at all and it washes like a dream. They have some pretty nursing bras too but I have never really looked at them. I am a boring nursing bra wearer I guess.

6. MumsBums AIO diapers. If I could afford it, these would be all I use. We have the bamboo velour inners and they are so squishy soft, so absorbent and SO easy to use. They are made with two sewn in soakers, one really long one on the bottom that can be folded to the front for boys and one shorter one that is topped with super soft bamboo velour which have three layers of hemp in them, plus a layer of hemp in the body of the diaper topped with organic cotton. Seriously, these are the most absorbent things I have ever used. Oh, and they dry faster than any of the other diapers we have. I'm talking super diaper here people. For reals. The only things I would change are the aplix but only because I really do prefer snaps and that they are so hard to find. Diaperware is really the only place I have been able to find them and thy do run out pretty often.

7. Muslin swaddling blanket. Muslin is perfect for swaddling blankets because it is lightweight but warm, breathable and sturdy. Even K, my little Houdini baby, can't break the swaddle with these. The cotton material will let babies body temperature adjust to the surroundings without overheating or them getting cold tootsies too which is quite desirable. I actually made the ones we use. Large piece of muslin (47" x 47") sew the edges and decorate however you like. Easy- peasy.

The big secret?

Ok, so I have mentioned before my belief in baby wearing and its benefits. It just amazes me sometimes when I am out how many people comment on it. Its always been positive for the most part. There was one woman when I was 8 months pregnant with K and wearing D on my back that told me I shouldn't be doing that or I'd hurt my back. I asked her how it would be different if I carried him on my hip and she had no answer. Other than her, people are always saying how "oh, that looks so comfortable" and "oh, he looks so happy in there" and "oh, my ______ had one of those Bjorn carriers and she hated it but that looks so much more comfy".

So, is it really that big of a secret? Do people really think the only things out there are the Infantino or Bjorns? It kind of makes me sad considering how bad those types of carriers are for babies physical development . I don't think that babywearing may be for every person (every newborn is a different story) but it just amazes me that people are so in the dark.

So I thought I would share my favorites. For the newborn stage I really love my Moby or http://www.sleepywrap.com/. Wraps are so very comfortable and used correctly can be great for babies with reflux and gas problems. They are also great for babies that love to be on momma's chest. For the young baby stage I love my MeiTai. This one is very versatile. You can wear baby on your front, back, or hip. You hear a lot about the Ergo which is technically a soft structured carrier (SSC) or buckle tei but I have never owned one. They are pricey and their business ethics have raised some eyebrows but some people swear by them. Maybe some day I will try to add it to my collection. Anyway, I also use a Maya wrap which is technically a ring sling. This one is great for quick trips into the store or mall but it gets uncomfortable after a bit because all of the babys weight is on only one shoulder instead of both. With the weight on both shoulders it evens you out a bit.

So, those are MY favs. They may change but considering how many carriers I went through with D I kind of doubt it. Can't beat the tried and true! I would like to try out an Ergo and a Beco just to see which I like better to possible invest in but there again. $$$ and not particularly that much better than my old trusties. Maybe I am just old fashioned. People who are deep in the babywearing world tend to defend their favorites like a dog and a steak so if you are looking for a carrier, ask around. Never know what you may find.

Who am I?

I guess I should introduce myself. I am Amy. I have two little boys, D who is 2 years old and K who is only 6 weeks old at the moment. I am the wife of T, my soul mate, for the last five years. We live in a little town just north of Atlanta called Woodstock. I have lived in lots of different places around the US but I must say the place I pine for is Texas. Gorgeous sights, nice people, great weather. Someday I will get back there.

My husband was born in Denmark (country not city). He came to the US with his mother in 1989 when she married his stepfather. He has lived in and barely left Georgia ever since. We are definitely two of a kind. I am the outgoing Gemini that knows what she wants and how to get it and he is the peaceful Virgo. My sons are also both Virgos which puts me in the perfect princess position in my house. Fine with me.

D is my wild man. He loves to dance and play. He is a climber and will absolutely scare the crap out of you given a few unattended seconds and anything he can get a hold on. He has always been the entertainer type. He loves for people talk to him and watch him in his silliness. Very much the social butterfly. He is in preschool two days a week and while he enjoys going, he also seems bored with it. Being the oldest can do that I suppose.

K is just a little guy. He is much more serious so far than D wad as an infant. He still smiles a lot but he makes you work harder for it! He loves to observe, mostly from our chests or other snuggly position. He loves to sleep which is FABULOUS. I am looking forward to watching his little personality develop.

We are one an AP family. We are total lactivists (yes WE). Don't ask my opinion on infant formula unless you want and earful. I do realize it has its place unfortunately that is not how it is commonly used. We believe in the power of babywearing. I wear my baby and my toddler; sometimes at the same time. T has back problems that prevent him from wearing for long periods but he does sometimes. We are totally against letting our children "cry it out" or hitting a child in any manner. Thats just he way we run our home. I understand that people have to do things in the ways that work for them but there are somethings I will just never understand. Nobodys perfect I suppose.