Wednesday, January 27, 2010

Wordless Wednesday

Its official

The van is a "total loss". Let me tell you. That was a weird feeling, hearing that from the insurance lady today. I have been walking around in a daze of sorts since the accident happened but as soon as it was real, I really wasn't getting my van back, it all came crashing in on me. At mach speed. I was in a wreck. A bad one. I could have been seriously hurt. My KIDS could have been hurt. What are we going to do about a car now? Why? Why us? Why didn't she look? She could have saved us both so much grief. Does she realize what could have happened? What I would have gone through if she had hurt my babies?

So, yeah. Massive panic attack. It was due though. I guess I was lucky it stayed off as long as it did.

We did some looking at "new" vans today. Just so we could have a ballpark of how much we were going to need from the insurance settlement and such. Its going to be interesting trying to get everything done by the time we have to get the rental back. We have to get all of the paperwork together to show how much we had put into that van last year. Then we meet with the claims people Thursday so wish us luck!

Monday, January 25, 2010

"not me" Monday

Welcome to Not Me! Monday! This blog carnival was created by MckMama. You can head over to her blog to read what she and everyone else have not been doing this week.

Decided to follow in MckMama's husband trend today. So here are a few T related "not me"s.

So, this weekend was.. interesting. Good thing I did not sleep in late the last two days since my husband was home. After all, he works six mornings a week and he deserves a break. Even though it would have felt insanely good to lay in bed and not move on Sunday.

My husband also did not take it upon himself to scrub clean the whole house and finish the laundry last night while I wrote my accident bloggy.  He has better things to do like... relax! Plus, laundry is my household duty and I would never just let him do it all.

On the other hand, he also wouldn't snore so much that I make him let me go to sleep first. That would be silly. Even though if I could get to sleep first, then I might be able to STAY asleep where if he starts snoring before I could get to sleep then he would keep me up all night long. Nope, like I said, he works so he gets sleep priority.

Sunday, January 24, 2010

Long day.

Yesterday, I got in my first ever car accident. Not bad for a late twenties chick right? The day started off great. Slept in until 10:30 with the boys, took D to my mom's, went to a book signing with my bestie, and then got some awesome deals at Target. Not exactly eventful, but nice. Spent some snuggly quality time with K and my mom had fun with D while we were out. When K and I went to pick up D from mom's is when things got hairy. I got there late and D was already tired. As soon as I got there, T called and he was on his way to our house. So, I scarfed down some mac and cheese that mom had made for dinner, packed the boys up (sans shoes) and we piled in the van to head home.

Now, a little geography. My mom lives four miles from my house. In order to get to one from the other you have to get on the interstate for about, oh say, 20 feet. Seriously. Anyway, going back to my house, you pass over the northbound entrance ramp and go under the freeway to go south. In the van, I was in the drivers seat (duh), K was behind me in his infant seat, and D was behind him in the rear bench seat. They like to be able to see each other so they sit that way, facing each other. Cute really. Oh, and its raining.

So, we leave my mom's and head home. We get to the freeway ramps, my light is green, intersection clear, so I keep going. Right about the time my front wheels pass over the white line at the stop light, I glance up at the light and its turning yellow. Look back down at the road and she is there. Just THERE. We are talking split second here. There is a small blue car in front of me. I slammed on the brakes as hard as I could, knowing there was NO way I was going to stop but hoping she could get out of the way in time. She however, hits her brakes too and stops in front of me. Nice. So about five feet from her I put my hands up in surrender and think "well, shit". I heard the smack and blacked out.

I opened my eyes as the airbag deflated and smacked it off my face. The next second I heard the most welcome and terrifying sound I have ever heard. D screamed. Louder than I have ever heard him scream in his whole life. It was a lively, awake, uninjured scream. At the same time I started smelling smoke so I turned the ignition off and jumped out. I was to D before he caught his breath to scream again. He reached for me his eyes all wide and terrified and then pointed at the front of the van where the airbags laid against the dashboard. "Mama, oh no!" he yelled. I looked down at K and he just gave me his "WTH" look. He was ok too. I reached through and unbuckled D and pulled him out over his brother, then got K, seat and all, and walked around the end of the van to the sidewalk.

I realized I had not even looked at the other car yet and turned to see the young girl standing beside her car with a terrified look on her face, talking on her cell phone. I asked her if she was talking to 911 and she said "No, its my boyfriend". Helpful hon. So I dug out my cell phone from my back pocket without putting the boys down and dialed 911. They answered but my cell phone died right about the time we got to the part where you tell them where you are. About that time, a good samaritan walked up and asked if we were all okay. I told him yes but asked him to call 911 back and he said he would. Other car chicky is still on her cell phone but manages to squeak "Whose fault is this?" at me to which I reply with a short "YOURS." Its called failure to yield sweetie, look it up.

Anyway, we start to hear the fire engines alarms and D got SO excited. "Mama! A firetruck! A firetruck! Mama!". I think he may have stopped breathing from excitement when it pulled up to our van and stopped. He thought it was a show just for him. Gotta love toddlers. The firefighters got out and one took K and the other took D to look them over. That is when I realized my knee hurt. A LOT. So I rolled up my jeans and sure enough, it was swollen already. About the size of an orange. The firefighters offered me an ice pack but by that time the police had arrived and were asking questions and chaos was in full suit. The girl genius from the other car kept telling me how she never even saw me and she didn't look before she turned. I made sure the officer heard that too.

The good samaratain came over again to ask if he could do anything else and I realized I had not called my husband yet. He let me use his cell phone to call T. There is nothing weirder than uttering the phrase "the kids are ok but we were in an accident" to your husband. I think I even skipped the "don't worry" part because I knew he would freak anyway. So, I told him where we were and hung up. He was there quickly and took the boys to his car to get them warm. He also called my mother and she of course freaked out too so she came down to the "scene".

Shortly after T got there, the tow trucks arrived. We emptied as much as we could into the cars and took some pictures. The front of my van... is scary for me to look at. The front drivers side is the worst. Its smashed in over a foot. The hood bent, the frame bent, and the radiator smashed to pieces. The other headlight was popped out by the impact and we found it about 50 yards away in the bushes. None of the passenger side doors open. The other car was pretty bashed up as well. She said she was trying to sell it. Good luck.

All I can think is thank GOD the boys are okay. My neck hurts so bad I can't turn it and my knee looks bad but the boys are still perfect. Not a scratch on either of them. Everyone is okay but it scared the living shit out of me. Thats for sure. Now begins the waiting game. Waiting for the police report to be filed, then waiting for the claims to go through and waiting for checks and this and that. I am thinking that I will most likely try to go and see someone tomorrow about my neck. Something in there pops when I straighten up. That can't be right. For now though, I am just trying to relax before life happens again. Tomorrow it will be back to the same old grind. Only this time car-less.

Tuesday, January 19, 2010


"My morning is brightened by the sun that illuminates the outline
Of the most amazing woman that I have ever met.
Laying there so peaceful and so beautiful PERFECT.
My heart flutters and just the sight, I haven't even gotten out of bed yet.

As I walk towards the closet for the clothes I need to wear for work,
I sweet coo comes from the pack and play quite peacefully,
Amazing how small, sweet and beautiful he is, PERFECT.
Trying to cherish every moment that I can, happily,

Trains, Dinosaurs, Sit n spins, guitars, legos, toy mines are everywhere,
I am reminded of my big boy who is so funny and smart,
Full of life, energy and excitement, He is PERFECT.
I dread that I even have to go to work, that we'll have to part.

Once I lock the door behind me, the wind hits my face,
Keys jingling in my hand as I walk to the car,
I think about my family and how we may not be PERFECT,
But I love Them so much, they are Perfect to me near or far."

Never knew T was a poet did you? Do now.

Monday, January 18, 2010

"not me" Monday

Welcome to Not Me! Monday! This blog carnival was created by MckMama. You can head over to her blog to read what she and everyone else have not been doing this week.

Ever spent hours making a meal plan for the week, slaving over grocery lists then spend two hours doing the shopping only to go home and have take out for dinner? Not me. Why waste my precious time doing all that just to spend more money on some nice, hot fried chicken.

We would also never go to Ikea just for the food. Its a thirty minute drive from here! Now, sure they have those awesome meatballs that the big boys scarf down like they are endangered and those cinnamon rolls (omgthecinnamonrolls) but surely I could make them myself at home for cheaper. Especially considering the price of gasoline shot up last weekend because... well, I actually don't know why but it DID.

Oh, an as far as starting a show for my toddler and finding it so mind numbingly obnoxious that I thought I really might run screaming from the house that I turned it off and told him the TV was broken. Nope, not me. Even if he didn't believe me. Its wrong to lie to children to protect your own sanity. Right?

Teeth and Haiti

Sorry I haven't been around much this week. Been on a blog-cation. Not too much going on, just chillin' with my homies and the boys. K has been teething like a mad fiend so he has been extra snuggly and if you have been paying even the least bit of attention you know how much I love my snuggles. His most favorite teether is my hand though and that is sadly coming to an end. He got his first tooth some time overnight last night so soon it will be a bit too painful for him to chew on me like he has been. Shame too because they are always available, he can't drop them in the floor, and they are almost always relatively cleaner than anything in my diaper bag which seems to collect dirt and old crumbs faster than D can drop them in there. I found half a banana in there the other day and couldn't remember the last time I had given him one. Fun right?

I have also spent most of the week in hiding from all things media. The earthquake in Haiti is one of those events that I really can't handle watching unfurl. Too much hurt, too much unfairness and too many hurt babies. It really shakes me pretty bad. Now, don't think I don't care about those people and don't want things to get better for them as fast as possible. I have spent the day trying to figure out how to help the Haitians if we, as a family, can. I just can't emotionally handle all the death and hurt that seem to take precedence in the media surrounding these events. The story is mostly all the same. They just seem to focus so much on the pain and gore that it makes me wonder why those reporters are standing by and watching these children suffer. See that water bottle in his hand? Why not share? If they can get to the places that aid can't, how can they bear to go themselves? Too much for me. Just too much.

Sorry for the heavy. Here is a cute picture to lighten the mood:

Looks like K has found his own teething mechanism.

Monday, January 11, 2010

"not me" Monday

Welcome to Not Me! Monday! This blog carnival was created by MckMama. You can head over to her blog to read what she and everyone else have not been doing this week.

I would never have multiple blogs on draft that I just haven't gotten around to finishing. Why, when I sit down to write something, I finish it every time and then I post it. Honest. If I didn't I would look lazy or it would look like I couldn't finish a thought.

Another thing I would absolutely never be caught doing is purposely "forgetting" to buy something at the grocery store so I could have an excuse to run back out by myself when T got home. Even if that meant a few minutes of me time and listening to my Ipod. ALONE. Something like that would just be a waste of gas and time.

 Oh, and sneaking to the bathroom with the brownies to keep from having to share with my two year old? Nope, not me. I always share. He loves them so much, how could I with hold from him? He would probably draw on the wall with a stray pen he found while I was stuffing my face anyway.

Project 365 has MOVED!

Ok, so it was taking over! So it found a new home. HERE or you can click the Project 365 link at the top of this page. 

Friday, January 8, 2010

Breastfeeding in the USA

I was out the other day with my family, eating dinner and nursing K. We were just having dinner as usual, chatting away, when I looked up and saw a woman "feeding" her baby and giving me the stink eye. By "feeding" I mean she was working on propping a bottle up on a towel for her baby, who was obviously too young to hold the bottle itself, while he sat in his bucket seat next to her chair. Now, I'm not sure why I was getting the stink eye but believe me, it was definitely directed at me and my nursing baby. I don't know this woman's story. Maybe she tried to breastfeed and really couldn't because of physical incapability or maybe she was just to lazy or maybe it was pumped milk she was giving baby in the bottle (still, she could have cuddled baby while feeding). I met her gaze and waited for her to break it like I usually do, I have nothing to be ashamed of, and I didn't think about it again until later that day. Then, I got to thinking and wondering about the United States and how we compared to other countries on the breastfeeding front. Yes, I am THAT big of a nerd. I love statistics.

I had learned a little about it in the CLC class I took a few weeks ago but it was a very condensed and only have the stats from the US. So of course I turned to Google. The CDC actually had a good bit of information percentage wise but it was still a little outdated. The WHO though had a searchable feature which is a nerd's paradise. Turns out that the US isn't doing as bad as I would have thought. Turns out that 73.9% of babies here were ever breastfed and the average age of weaning is six months. Here are some other countries stats for comparison.

Albania~ 92% (ever), 16m (average weaning age)
Denmark~ 98%, 6m
Italy~ 64%, 3m
Spain~ 78%, 3m
India~ 99%, <4 YEARS!
Australia~ 98%, 3m
Ethiopia~ 98%, 24m
Egypt~ 96%, 18m

So, we aren't the LOWEST. Which is honestly where I thought we might be. I would love to have reported that we had a higher than 90% ever rate but I guess that should just motivate me to get out there and be a good example. I am actually proud to say that most of my friends breastfed their babies for various amounts of time and lets face it, ANY breastfeeding is better than NO breastfeeding. Stink eye looks or not, I know whats best and I am not afraid to tell anyone who will listen (maybe that is why I don't have many exclusive formula feeding friends). The problem is finding people who are willing to listen. I love having the freedom to speak my mind without penalty but that does not mean that people WILL listen. Every one has their "reason" ranging from a real, physical issue to pure immaturity. Maybe someday America will catch up with the other nations with higher rates. I personally would love to just see a higher percentage of babies ever nursed. Colostrum is literally the perfect first food. For now though, I will do the best I can with encouragement to others and doing the best I can to fight the urge to give the stink eye to the bottle propping generation. Who knows, maybe I really can change the world. (LOL)

Thursday, January 7, 2010


Well, sort of. Here is Georgia we very rarely get extreme weather one way or the other. Not much snow. Not much sweltering. Which is good but I spent some years in Kansas as a child and I love the snow! I have no patience for cold without snow. It just seems senseless and mean.

Today though, we got a little. By a little I mean this:

Yeah, not much more than a dusting really. Still enough for D to be excited about though. He had a blast trying to catch the flakes on his tongue and running around in it. Him and his daddy went out late tonight to play again before it all melts too. Some day he and his brother will get to see real snow. In fact, its on the list. So sooner rather than later. Hopefully we won't have to travel to get to it but I am determined to do what it takes.


Wednesday, January 6, 2010


Just numb tonight. Not really sure why either, which is more annoying than knowing why. Usually this feeling can be traced back to a bad day or an emotional moment or the like. Today though, was good. I spent the morning playing with the boys, we had a playdate and then walked around for a bit. Then we came home and ate lunch, napped, played some more.

It was after the boys were in bed that it hit me. A funk. Like the feeling that something was changing. Its almost like my head just cleared of everything and just left me empty for a bit. Not really a bad feeling. Just numb. Weird. Nothing a good sleep won't fix though.

Wordless Wednesday

Monday, January 4, 2010

"not me" Monday

Welcome to Not Me! Monday! This blog carnival was created by MckMama. You can head over to her blog to read what she and everyone else have not been doing this week.

Put my youngest son in his real crib for a nap, let him go to sleep, then freak out, cry and wake him up to put him back in our bedroom for the rest of his nap? Nope. Not me. I would never be so irrationally emotional. Especially not if it meant trying to keep my two year old quiet while we showered because I'm a big 'ol softy.Which if you have ever tried, you know is mostly impossible.

I would also never sit around in my skivvies when I knew that someone was coming over to my house, only to jump up and throw on some clothes when they knock on the door. I am always perfectly coiffed when I am expecting company. Why, who knows, someone famous could knock!

Thats it for me today. I've been GOOD.

Saturday, January 2, 2010

Kicking my rear

Into gear. Hopefully anyway. I really need to get back into shape. Its on the 2010 list so I really do need to get at it. The problem is that.. well, I'm lazy. I would so much rather eat out than have to cook. I would love to just sit around and play with the boys all day. I nap daily. Just lazy. Sloth really is a deadly sin and in my case it has gotten the best of me in the last few years. I viewed my pregnancies as a get out of exercise free card and it hasn't really gotten any better when I am not pregnant. The challenge comes in getting enough calories to support my copious milk production while not getting too many and them keeping me fat. The result? Get more exercise. Blah. Not my favorite.

I used to be a pretty active person. Running, playing tennis, swimming and all that jazz. Now I just need to kick myself back into the habit. T and I have already decided that once it gets warm again that we will start playing tennis together again. He is a great motivator when we play because he is typically competitive and its fun showing him whose boss on the court. Lets face it, he can hit the ball but moving a six and a half foot large framed man around the court take quite a bit of effort. So its much easier for me to keep him running and not hitting. There goes my secret.

My bestie and I are also going to try and hold each other more accountable. She got onto me yesterday because I posted on Facebook about my new years cheesecake. Rightly smitted but that cheesecake was irresistible. It called to me, I swear. We are also going to be doing some exercising together which will help. A big part of exercising for me is having someone to talk to. I feel so dumb doing it alone in the house or with the kids staring at me like I've lost my mind. At least with another adult I wouldn't feel so lame.

So here goes. If I start turning incoherent though, someone call an ambulance. Or bring me a taco...


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