Friday, August 31, 2012

Fall is Coming!

Its coming! My most favorite time of the year! The time for festivals, cooler weather, and best of all Halloween! This is also the time of year, every year, that I start craving pumpkin flavored things. Pumkin pie, pumpkin coffee, pumpkin cheesecake. Its an absurd obsession that only comes around about August and is always over by the time the brunt of Fall comes around.

This year, fall has snuck up on me hardcore. Usually by this time of year I have started planning the boys birthday party and started to freak out about everything involved in that. This year, I have not done a single thing towards their party. I think its mostly denial.

Still, soon it will be here and it is set to be a glorious fall here in Georgia. We have had oddly cool weather this summer which should lead to some gorgeous fall foliage. Up in the mountains at least. Or at least I really hope so. Our foliage tends to just turn brown and fall off. Some years, it doesn't even bother falling off. It just dies and hangs there, which is just so attractive.

I am really llooking foward to trying out some of the fall things from my pinterest board too this year. I have fallen slack on decorating and keeping up with my promise to my self to try and be more seasonally festive but come fall, I intend to at least make a wreath (Damn it.). I am particularly in love with this fall bucket list from Loves of Life.

Sweet, right? I think we can manage all that. Stay tuned to see what all we get accomplished!

What are your favorite fall traditions?

Thursday, August 30, 2012

First Week of School

Today ends the first week of school for my boys. D has been in preschool before. As a matter of fact, he started the year K was born just before he turned two. He went to the preschool that my mother worked in at the time so we had no qualms about sending him there. He always loved it then and he loves it even more now. He is loving getting to play with his new friends and doing crafts every day. Of course by this morning, he was getting a little weary of getting up and getting moving first thing. We are not morning people.

This is K's first preschool experience ever though and he is loving it. He hasn't hit the tired wall like D because he is only going two days. He is so stinking cute toting his bag around the house asking when he can go back to preschool with his friends. I swear I think he would probably sleep with his bag if we would let him.

Me? I am definitely keeping myself busy. I am having a really hard time with this transition. Its one I know is necessary. They are going to love it. I'm just not ready to be taking that step I guess. The step into someone else caring for my children. I always thought I would homeschool them. We had been preparing my boys and myself for that for years. Now, I'm afraid I don't have a choice and let me tell you something, having that kind of choice ripped from your heart is not cool. Not cool at all.

Still, the boys love it and I have time to shower alone. How can that be so bad?

Wednesday, August 29, 2012

Aunti Comes to Town

I have written before about the boys' Aunti, my sister. This past weekend, she made a whirlwind visit through to the grand ol' ATL for a funeral and a mini visit with her "nefcon". The boys and I were more than ecstatic to see her of course and many shenannigans were had before we had to drop her back off at the airport and send her back the way she came.

Tuesday, August 28, 2012

I Wanna Dance With Somebody for Tune In Tuesday

Nic + Bean

A very good friend of mine started up a new weekly link up called "Tune in Tuesdays". Those of you who have been around awhile remember the Music Mondays days around here and this is the same premise. A song you love to share with the group. 
I decided I needed something a little more lighthearted this week since the last two have been a little emotional. This song immediately came to mind as one of my all time favorites for goofing off. It makes me smile even when I don't want to. Its one that you can't help but belt out in the car when it comes on the radio out of the blue. It makes you move and is irresistable to kids. Timeless? Probably not. Still awesome? Totally.

Monday, August 27, 2012

C Wonder Now Open at Lenox Square!

This weekend, I attended the grand opening of the newest, hippest store in Atlanta's Lenox Square Mall. C Wonder is a women’s fashion and housewares store selling colorful, affordable products that include clothing, shoes, jewelry, accessories, home decor, gadgets, electronics and gifts. Created to deliver brightness to every corner of life and with 7 locations already out there, including New York City and Newport Beach, this is a store that is used to trendsetting.

Their retail stores are created to immerse visitors in a "jubilant celebration of design and discovery". Breathtaking, always-changing window and floor displays, gorgeous decorative schemes inspired by fine homes, and intriguing surprises to uncover. C. Wonder is the kind of place you can really feel your self getting pulled into. Its a different place every time in the best way possible.

We wandered around the newest addition to the C Wonder store front in true celebrity style, complete with some light snacks and refreshments.

I was surprised by the ecclectic collection of accessories ranging from the most gorgeous reversable belts to the bluetooth keyboard for your tablet. Then there were the clothes. Oh, the clothes. I am not typically the type of person that goes head over heels for clothing but there was some seriously gorgeous (and comfortable looking) dresses! All of the accessories, clothing, and jewelry were of a high quality and of course portrayed the essence of a modern, on the go woman.

I have to be honest though that the home decor items were undoubtedly my favorite. They have a little bit of everything. Electronics, accents, stationary. Even a few things for your pet!

All in all, I was really impressed at how comfortable the store seemed. It wasn't a stuffy, high end boutique feel that you can sometimes get at mall stores. Everything was bright and cheery and welcoming.

Friday, August 24, 2012

Things I've Said to My Children...

... I never thought I would have to say out loud to another human.

"Get your hands out of your pants and eat your dinner."

"How did that bug taste?"

"Please don't lick the dog."

"Don't growl at strangers."

"It is cool that the neighbors cat runs up that tree everytime you chase him but that doesn't make it okay."

"Go sniff your brother for me and see if he smells."

"Well look at that, you can kiss your own belly button."

"Don't pee on your brother."

"I know you had to go, but pooping in the grass like a dog is not okay."

"No, I can't see the pee in there. Pull up your pants, we're in Target."

"Don't put rocks/ shoes/ dirt/ that in your mouth."

"Did you rub jelly all over your brother?"

"Did you brush your teeth? Let me smell."

"As a matter of fact, I am fairly sure the dog did not ask you to rub butt paste in his ears."

Parenthood is fun, no? What are some things you have had to say out loud that you would never have dreamed before kids?

Thursday, August 23, 2012

Quitting Worry

I am a worrier. I tend to fret and hem/ haw over every little thing. It takes me forever to make what I feel like is the right choice and then I am so busy worrying if I was right to enjoy whatever it was I was deciding about in the first place. Some people say I think to much, I think it goes deeper than that. I worry about if people like me or if people are talking behind my back. I worry that people think little of me because of my situation and if they do, are they right? I can take an off glance from a stranger in the grocery store and catch myself doing a mental checklist of my looks, breath, pits, etc. Do I smell? Do I have something on my face?

You might read that though and think that I just have really low self esteem (and/ or had a heart attack). Thing is, I worry about other people just as much as I worry about myself. My kids, my friends, my parents, my sister. I get in a rut of "are they okay? should I call/ check on them? Make sure they are still breathing while asleep?" It never ends.

As much as I tell myself that everything always turns out fine, I can't stop it. I dwell on the times things didn't turn out fine and tend to expect, and worry about, the most negative outcome of any situation. I can't seem to turn it off.

I suppose I come from a long line of worriers. My mom is a notorious worrier. She can actually worry about something so much it gets under my skin and that takes a lot. She can take a cough and diagnose you with some rare form of lung cancer in under a second and then spend the next month convinced you are going keel over your Lucky Charms at any given second. Its a whole different breed of complete neurosis.

I can't just blame her though. My grandparents were that way too. So is my sister. And my dog...

Genetics aside, I have been trying lately to find a way to turn my mind off to worry. I have spent hours in front of the computer trying to find a way to stop it only to realize I was worrying about finding the right solution to make me stop worrying. Oy.

Eventually I concluded that I need to learn to just let things fall as they may. I have got to stop over analyzing everything and stop seeking the worst outcome because if that is what you seek, that is what will happen.

Of course eliminating the things that cause the worry in the first place is not an option perse. I will always worry about my boys and my family. My friends are pretty high up on that list too. I don't however have to worry about what people think or say about me all the time. Thats their problem.

I am trying desperately to turn off my mind instead and seek the things that make me happy to the bone. Getting out more and going for long walks with the boys and the dog. Having that glass of wine at bedtime that I withheld from myself for so many years.

I am even making a little time for myself.

That, in its self is making more progress than anything I think. Having me time. Time to sit and think through what is troubling me more thoroughly. Making peace with the big things that I have to decide and making even more peace with the things out of my control.

Best of all: I am learning to let go. Something that I never have been able to do. Something that is essential to your sanity. I have to let go of so many dreams and friends and loved ones that I really didn't want to see go so I just didn't. I kept them there in my subconscious and worried about them. Wondering about them constantly. Thats a lot to keep up with. Not to say, either, that I will ever forget those people or those dreams, I just can't hold on to them anymore.

Heres hoping that I can keep making forward progress. I need to for my sake and for my boys sake. They don't need to continue the cycle of the worryer. Its time for all of us to become warriors instead ( at the risk of being completely corny but seriously).

Keep everything crossed for me.

For us.

Tuesday, August 21, 2012

Tune in Tuesday

Nic + Bean

A very good friend of mine started up a new weekly link up called "Tune in Tuesdays". Those of you who have been around awhile remember the Music Mondays days around here and this is the same premise. A song you love to share with the group. 

A friend of mine posted this song for me a few months ago and its become a kind of mantra for me. I am not usually a big fan of country music. Even though I'm from the South and apparently everyone that has ever crossed the Mason-Dixon is supposed to (insert *eyeroll*). Its not really a secret at this point that I have lost the love I loved most to greener pastures. Its been a rough ride for me emotionally. Up and down, okay then so not. Still, everything I do, every minute I go without breaking down or every new thing I do without hesitation, I get a little bit stronger.

Maybe someday, I'll understand. Someday, it won't hurt so bad. Someday, I will look back and be nostalgic. Someday.

Until then, I look for the ways I am getting stronger. Forward not back.

Monday, August 20, 2012


When I was a teenager, the weekends were never very fun for me. I spent most of my time lounging around my house or running errands with my mother. It was very rare that I would go anywhere or do anything mostly because my mother, a professed home body, and my overly cautious father usually refused to allow me to travel outside my own yard much less to a friends house whose parents they had not met (they never met any of my friends parents by design I think). My days were filled with messing around in the yard or watching television.

Then, my sister got a car. She is two years older than me and was always my closest friend. Granted we always had to get permission to leave the driveway and even then we had a very strict curfew of usually about an hour after we left. Still, we were free. We left and roamed the neighborhoods, raiding convenince stores of all the candy we could buy with what change we scraped together. We spent time with our friends, going to dinner and Starbucks with them. We went to every theater event and outing that the school had. We just went out.

It was my first taste of freedom from the house and I couldn't get enough.

So of course by the time I got a car, we had changed states and my parents had bigger things to worry about. I had my own freedom and I was rarely home. I spend my afternoons and evenings out with my friends. Going to theater events and Target as often as I could manage.

After graduation, I spent every waking moment away from the house. My parents, by then involved in a rather ugly divorce, had little time to watch after me and I would leave home at sun up and sometimes not return until well into the next morning. The weekends were no exception. Especially after I hit 21. My friends and I would go out to the clubs and spend hours dancing and drinking and making fools of ourselves. We would be out all night and then some how make it to work the next morning.

Those were the days.

Now, though? I have new priorities. I rarely leave the house unless I just have to. I prefer to spend my time at home with my boys. Doing crafts or watching a movie or playing outside in whatever assemblance of a yard we have at the time. Don't get me wrong, we spend our fair share of time out running around and goofing off too, but mostly we stay home. Part of it is lack of funding. Part of it is lack of energy. Part of it is lack of gumption. Its been fifteen years since my sister got her drivers liscense... fifteen years. My sister's drivers liscense is almost old enough to have its own drivers liscense (That ought to make her feel old). Maybe that explains my turn as a homebody. Oldness?

Of course it could just be the fact that leaving the house with both of the boys is a bit like leaving the house with a couple of rabid, greased up monkeys that haven't eaten in days. That might play a part as well.

Still, I suppose I have sewn those wild oats and am just settling down into life a little. Being a homebody isn't near as bad as it used to feel like it was. There is something nice about being surrounded by things that you chose for yourself (and you won't have to pay for if your kids break). Not so bad after all.

Friday, August 17, 2012

Consignment Sale Season

'Tis upon us and if you are a parent, odds are you have been to a few (hundred). Of course, if you haven't been dragged into the consignment sale arena quite yet, there are a few things you are most definitely missing.

One of those things is the cheapness. When D was little, I would frequent them for toys or books. The little things you need for young children that you just don't want to pay a small fortune for. In fact, we have been through 4 copies of Goodnight Moon in my short journey through parenthood and I have never paid more than a dollar for any of them. Tiny Ralph Lauren jeans for $5? Check. 27 piece boys dress up clothes for $8? Check. For the most part, consignment sales are the place to buy reasonably price kids clothes. There are some sales that even go on up into the junior sizes which might fit more than just the kids. At over 6 feet and on the heavier side, thats not the case for me.

Of course there are always the delirious few that seem to think they can sell their kids used clothing for the same price they paid for them three kids ago. Stains and all. Those are the clothes that are still there when the sales close. Those plus the ridiculously ugly things that you have to wonder why on Earth someone spent money on in the first thing. My favorite so far this year is a single Tweedle Dee costume complete with helicopter hat in a size 8. Interesting.

Then there is the more personal side of consignment sales. As a people watcher type, big groups of people are always a lot of fun for me. There are always the old pro people that have done this every season for as long as they have been a parent, but then there are the frenzied first time moms, the lost looking Dads that have no clue why they are there and the inevitable Kincaid tshirt wearing Grandmas willing to use their walkers as weapons. 

The old pros tend to show up prepared. they have their laundry basket with a leash to drag around behind them while they shop so they have their hands free to scour the racks quickly for that perfect outfit. They come with cash, instead of a check that requires extra time at the check outs or plastic which usually carries a fee. They are in and out of the sale quickly and efficeintly and on to the next sale of the day. These people can buy whole wardrobes of clothes, toys, and gear for their kids for next to nothing by going to multiple sales and looking for the best bargains. I am a notrotiously cheap kind of person but I don't have that much patience. I tend to get as much as I can at one sale and then the rest comes either in hand me downs from friends or I hit the clearance racks a season ahead. Most of D's fall wardrobe was bought last spring.

The lost boys (Dads) usually just stand around in the way of the old pros. That or they follow around the woman they are with as close as possible and watch over her shoulder critiquing the price of each thing she touches. They are my least favorite group. Rarely, a man will be trusted with a task of some sort like looking for sports equipment or picking out the best bike. Mostly, they stand around in the way.

My favorite group of consignment salers though are the Grandmas. They are the agressive, take no prisoners shoppers of the circuit. They know exactly what their little prince or princess needs and they are going to get to it before you. There aren't as many of these as there are the other two but rest assured you will know them when you see them.

So, when (or if) you head out for the sales this weekend, come back an let me know how it went. Never been to one and don't plan on it? Can't say I blame you.

Thursday, August 16, 2012

One Month

We're a few days less than a month out from the boys' birthdays. D will be 5 and K will be 3. That just does not seem possible. Of course, I think every parent says that every year that passes. Time really does pass so fast when they are little. Before the routine of schooling takes over and every year is eerily similar to the next pretty much for the rest of their lives.

That and the fact that we are officially leaving baby-hood behind this fall. With K turning 3, he is officially a "pre-schooler". No longer a baby, no longer a toddler even. I wanted him to stay a baby forever. I am loving this age too, its just not quite the same somehow.  He is getting big and strong and even more confident by the day, which is good and bad. Poor baby is still quite clumsy.

D at a year old
D is moving into big kid mode smoothly. He is mostly passed the tantrums and general mouthy-ness of the three to four year old crazies. He is more grown up by the day and is growing more comfortable in his place in our little family. He is enjoying being my little sidekick while I cook or clean. Watching, learning, growing. Soaking up everything he encounters like a little sponge kid. He is taking on more chores around the house, by choice. He is becoming reasonable person, all at once, and its starting to freak me out.

Heres the kicker though, they are also both looking more grown up. In the last month even, their features are growing more mature. D is taking on the long, lean physique and K is finally starting to get some height on him (not just chunk). Their faces are slimming down and D is growing big man feet.

Time needs to slow down and let this mama catch up. Parenthood has always been a crazy rollercoaster for me as a parent. A "hurry up and walk" then "slow down, I can't catch you" type of ride. Now that its settling in though, I want it to gear back up.

Of course, there will still be those hills and valleys but I guess we are just getting to the point where they are more gently rolling that violently tumbling kinds of hills.

Wednesday, August 15, 2012

A Mama's Best Friend #WW

You've met him before.

Bob. Just Bob.
His name suits him.
He is the most laid back dog you've ever met.

Spends most of his time stretched out in the floor.

Usually drooling on the rug.
Extremely patient.
Even more gentle.

Tuesday, August 14, 2012

Tuning in on "Tune in Tuesday"

Nic + Bean

A very good friend of mine started up a new weekly link up called "Tune in Tuesdays". Those of you who have been around awhile remember the Music Mondays days around here and this is the same premise. A song you love to share with the group. 

Maybe not the most prophetic song in the world but for me, right now, it strikes a chord deep down somewhere in my soul.
"Well some say life will beat you down
Break your heart, steal your crown
So I've started out, for God knows where
I guess I'll know when I get there"

And that it has over the last few years. I can't help but feel like I am starting out all over. Growing new wings and taking flight on my own. Thing is, things can only get better. What goes up, must come down.. but nothing says it can't go even higher on the next trip up. Heres hoping!

Monday, August 13, 2012

The Addams Family Takes Over @TheFoxTheater

Theater of the Stars presents the Atlanta premiere of the new musical The Addams Family, based on the bizarre and beloved family of characters created by legendary cartoonist Charles Addams, August 14 through 19 at the Fox Theatre. Ticket prices range from $25 to $65 and will be available at the Fox Theatre box office, by visiting, or by calling 855-ATL-TIXX (855-285-8499). Group orders of 10 or more may be placed by calling 404-881-2000, emailing or online at
The Addams Family features an original story and it’s every father’s nightmare. Wednesday Addams, the ultimate princess of darkness, has grown up and fallen in love with a sweet, smart young man from a respectable family. A man her parents have never met. And if that weren’t upsetting enough, she confides in her father and begs him not to tell her mother. Now, Gomez Addams must do something he’s never done before – keep a secret from his beloved wife, Morticia. Everything will change for the whole family on the fateful night they host a dinner for Wednesday’s “normal” boyfriend and his parents.

Tony Award® nominee Douglas Sills and Sara Gettelfinger will star as Gomez and Morticia. The principal cast also includes Tony Award® nominee Martin Vidnovic as Mal Beineke, Gaelen Gilliland as Alice Beineke, Blake Hammond as Uncle Fester, Pippa Pearthree as Grandma, Tom Corbeil as Lurch, Patrick D. Kennedy as Pugsley, Brian Justin Crum as Lucas Beineke and Cortney Wolfson as Wednesday. The Addams Family features a book by Marshall Brickman and Rick Elice, and music and lyrics by Andrew Lippa. The production is directed and designed (sets and costumes) by Phelim McDermott and Julian Crouch, with production supervision by Jerry Zaks and choreography by Sergio Trujillo. The production features lighting design by Natasha Katz, sound design by Acme Sound Partners and puppetry by Basil Twist.
The Addams Family tour is produced by Stuart Oken, Roy Furman, Michael Leavitt, Five Cent Productions, Stuart Ditsky/AdamDitsky, Stephen and Mary Jo Schuler, Eva Price, James L. Nederlander, Stephanie P. McClelland, Pittsburgh CLO/Gutterman/Deitch, Vivek Tiwary/Jamie deRoy/Carl Mollenberg and Mary Lu Roffe, by special arrangement with Elephant Eye Theatrical. International productions have been announced for Brazil, currently playing,and Australia (March, 2013) with others to be announced shortly.
The Addams Family will play the Fabulous Fox Theatre August 14- 19. Performances are as follows: Tuesday, August 14 at 8 p.m.; Wednesday, August 15 at 8 p.m.; Thursday, August 16 at 8 p.m.; Friday, August 17 at 8:00 p.m.; Saturday, August 18 at 2 p.m. and 8 p.m.; Sunday, August 19 at 1:30 p.m.
For more information, visit

Friday, August 10, 2012

Mama Gets a Haircut

I have spoken here about my hair before. Its thick, its curly, its terribly unruly. At least it used to be but then my eyes used to be blue too and are now a bright green color. What happened? I had babies. Well, babies on top of tons and tons of stress. I can't solely blame this on them when in all reality stress has been much more life changing than having the boys lately.

Still, what ever the reason, my hair started falling out in literal handfuls after I gave birth to K. It did a little after D but this was a whole new ball game of hair loss. The thing was, it wasn't even just breaking off like it used to do when it was too dry. It was falling out of my head. Root and all. By the handful. No matter what I tried, it just kept coming. Its just kept getting thinner and thinner. The texure changed too. Its much more wavy than curly these days.

Seeing as how I don't want to add baldness to my already amazingly sad list of sexy traits, I turned to a "stylist" to help me figure out what to do. Unfortunately, given my current money situation, by "stylist" I really mean "beauty college student" which scared me to death. Doing the best with what I've got though, I made the appointment and only slightly freaked out on the drive over. $5 haircut here I go!

When I got there, the girl at the front desk tried to reassure me that everything was good and they were "close to pros". She promised that if they hacked my hair into an unrecognizable shape, they wouldn't charge me the $5. Its "policy". So, uh, not very reassuring that they have had to  do this enough to have a policy in place about it but hey, I was already there.

I sat down in the chair and a group of students decended on me like vultures on fresh roadkill. They were all examining my hair and face and such, saying things like "oh wow, look at all that breakage" and "girl, how long has it been like this?".

So, yeah. We all agreed it need to me cut. A lot.

I told them not to go any shorter than my chin and showed them a picture of Jessica Alba of all people, telling them that was the look I was going for.

Before I could change my mind, a tall, blonde woman got to work on me.
Not more than 5 minutes later, I was done. Not kidding. Hair and scissors were going everywhere for a few minutes and at some point she asked if I wanted swoopy bangs like the picture to which I just blankly stared at myself in the mirror and she apparently took that as a yes. Bangs it was.

So here it is, the new do. Its short, its new, and its lovely. Or so I think. It is at the very least, a lot cooler and more versatile.    
What do you think? Fancy, right? Look who is turning ino a grown up!  

Monday, August 6, 2012

The King and I comes to @TheFoxTheater

Set in the 1860’s in the exotic capital city of Bangkok, The King and I I is the timeless love story between a powerful and stubborn king and a determined governess named Anna.  The King and I, playing the Fox Theatre September 5 – 11, will star Victoria Mallory as Anna and Ronobir Lahiri as The King of Siam. The show features opulent settings, a beautiful story of honor and forgiveness, and is filled with memorable songs such as “Hello Young Lovers,” “I Whistle A Happy Tune,” “Shall We Dance?” and “Getting To Know You.” Based on the real life adventures of the English widow Anna Leonowens, and the best-selling 1944 novel, Anna and the King of Siam by Margaret Landon,  The King and I is a fascinating tale about a clash of customs and finding love in spite of our differences.
“Theater of the Stars is extremely delighted to produce a gorgeous production of  The King and I that will feature incredibly talented actors and 28 local children from Atlanta” states Christopher B. Manos, Producer of Theater of the Stars. “’Audiences of all ages will be enchanted by this magnificent Rodgers & Hammerstein musical when it plays a special one-week engagement at the fabulous Fox Theatre.”
The show is directed by Baayork Lee with choreography by Susan Kikuchi and Jerome Robbins. Baayork Lee made her professional stage debut in the original Broadway production of  The King and I at age 5. Susan Kikuchi was a member of the Martha Graham Dance Company from 1978-1984 and has served as Director of both the Martha Graham Ensemble and the Martha Graham School. She has re-staged many Graham works often in collaboration with Yuriko for the Joffrey Ballet and Boston Conservatory. On the Broadway stage, Ms. Kikuchi was Supervisor of Jerome Robbins’ choreography (“The Small House of Uncle Thomas” ballet) and Dance Captain for  The King and I at the Neil Simon Theater. She was also soloist and Dance Captain in  The King and I  with Yul Brynner. 

The King and I will play the Fabulous Fox Theatre September 5 - 11. Performances are as follows: Wednesday, September 5 at 8:00 p.m.; Thursday, September 6 at 8:00 p.m.; Friday, September 7 at 8:00 p.m.; Saturday, September 8 at 2:00 p.m. and 8:00 p.m.; Sunday, September 9 at 1:30 p.m. and Tuesday, September 11 at 8 PM.

Tickets range from $25 - $65 and are on sale now at or by calling 855-ATL-TIXX (855-285-8499). The general public can purchase 50% off discount tickets for the Wednesday, September 5 performance by using the code “AJC” when ordering. Special group rates for 10 or more are available by calling 404-881-2000, emailing or online at

Friday, August 3, 2012

Letting Go of the Tiny Things

Literally. During this move, I have made good on one of the items on the 2012 List. Specifically this one:
3. Clear out some old kids things. Ideally I would like to put a ton of items in a consignment sale. Its time to let go of some of the things from their past, no matter how much it pains me.

Pain me it did too. There is just something about all those tiny socks and tiny pairs of pants that pull at my heart strings. I have lived in a world of tiny blue things for a long time. I was blessed enough to have a lot of good friends and family that showered us heavily with baby clothes and toys when I was pregnant with D. Add that to the fact I love to shop and that T was working and I was working two jobs and had a lot of spare cash, and theings just got crazy.

As D outgrew things, I diligently washed and packed them away for our next someday baby. Knowing that the next baby could very well be wearing pink but still, I couldn't make my heart get rid of the bulk of the baby blue accoutrements we had gathered. Each little outfit held a special place in my heart. A memory of some sort. First night home, first smile, first steps. How could I get rid of all the memories?

Then we found out we were pregnant with K. I knew immediately that he was a he. Call it Mama intuition I guess. A few months later an ultrasound confirmed it. Still, considering the fact that T had just lost his job, it was lucky that I had so neatly packed away all those little boy blues. Getting the tiniest ones out to wash before his birth was a sea of tears. There were a few outfits that I just couldn't picture putting on the new baby because of the emotions tied to them from the first. So, I packed those back up and they still reside in the memory box I keep in his closet.

Of course K has his own memory box. His going home outfit, his first PJs, and his "Mommy's Little Monster" outfit. He is still Mama's monster after all.

This time though, there is no other baby in the foreseeable future. I would have a million more babies if I could but I just don't see it happening any more. I think that is probably what hurts the most. Especially since I will be ending on a miscarriage. Ouch.

Yes, I know that there is a chance that someday I will remarry and I will have more kids and pigs will fly but lets face it, I am not getting any younger here people and with the other health issues I already face, the chances are getting slimer by the minute here. I held onto that love for too long it seems.

Anyway, I made the choice to just go ahead and get rid of everything that wasn't packed away in the memory boxes and so far, I have made a fairly big dent. I cry a little every time something that holds those memories slips away but I know that holding on to things isn't the same as holding on to the memories. I will always have those memories of my two "tiny" babies sleeping peacfully in their swing or smiling up from their playmat. No need for the physical reminders.

Still... Still. Its not easy.

How long did you hold on to your tiniest things?

Wednesday, August 1, 2012

My Boys See the Braves #ww

Yesterday, I surprised the boys.

With tickets to the Braves game at Turner Field

Considering D's recent obsession

We were all very excited

D was in awe of field

K was in awe of the unlimited peanuts

We watched the first 4 innings

From our fabulous seats

Until it started to rain

And rain, and rain, and rain.
And then... we splashed and played and hopped.

It was one of the best nights EVER.

*A huge thank you to the Alpharetta CVB for giving us the tickets and parking pass!


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