Tuesday, September 7, 2010

Wean Me Gently

I have already started getting the comments.

The "How is weaning going?"

Or "You are still breastfeeding??"

My answer? "Yes, he is. He will wean when he is done, I'm not worried."

My baby boy is not even a year old yet and already people are trying to push their crazy standards on us. People thought I was crazy last time too though so I guess I can't really expect people have changed or grown up. They would be appalled if they knew that I still give my (almost) three year old pumped milk too. I am okay with that though. I am not doing it for them.

Breastfeeding for me has been magical. I have been nursing for almost three years straight at this point, short the six weeks between when D weaned and when K was born, and I wouldn't trade it for the world. You can imagine the looks I got nursing a toddler at 8 months pregnant but somehow, it was just natural. It was us. It has always been easy for me and I know I am extremely lucky. I have never struggled with thrush or pain or low supply. In fact, I have always had the opposite problem with supply. One could say I have a plethora of milk. I still leak overnight and K has slept 12 hours since 3 weeks old. That, my friends, is absurd.

The thing is, I think nursing my babies has meant as much to me as it does to them. We are comfort to each other in a way that just can't be explained. Its a bond that knows no boundaries. I crave that feeling of love. I look forward to our time spent together, just him and me. When D weaned himself, I remember being so sad. Every nursing that he dropped, I would cry and then when he just stopped one day, I was heartbroken. A weird thing to feel I guess to some people but for us, breastfeeding has always been more than just food. We have just found other ways to get that connection. That warm fuzzy love.

K will be a year old in a week and is showing no signs of slowing down with his booby love and that makes me happy. I hope we can make it to two but really, its up to him. Weaning should be baby's choice. I just hope when the time comes, we are both at peace with it.

Wean Me Gently
by Cathy Cardall
I know I look so big to you,
Maybe I seem too big for the needs I have.
But no matter how big we get,
We still have needs that are important to us.
I know that our relationship is growing and changing,
But I still need you. I need your warmth and closeness,
Especially at the end of the day
When we snuggle up in bed.
Please don't get too busy for us to nurse.
I know you think I can be patient,
Or find something to take the place of a nursing;
A book, a glass of something,
But nothing can take your place when I need you.
Sometimes just cuddling with you,
Having you near me is enough.
I guess I am growing and becoming independent,
But please be there.
This bond we have is so strong and so important to me,
Please don't break it abruptly.
Wean me gently,
Because I am your mother,
And my heart is tender.

Fresh squeezed K, startin' his addiction.


  1. yes, this. exactly.

    though no one has really asked me about it, because i think they all know how biased my response will be. ;)

  2. <3

    I cant believe people are already asking, It is none of their business how long you choose to nurse YOUR children.

    No one asked with Little Man when I was still nursing past 12 months, but he weaned (with a gentle push from me) at 14 months. I am hoping to nurse my Little Miracle longer and with as much as he still nurses I dont think he will have a problem with that!

  3. LOVE this! I am already being asked this and my baby girl is just turning 6 months this week! I work full time and have to be away from her 40 hours a week already and use that dreaded pump at work so when I am at home with her I let her nurse as much as she wants! We BOTH love it and yes warm fuzzies :)

  4. Great post, so well said!! Avery is about the same age a K, she's about a week younger, and I have started getting the same questions. But, I am totally with you, she will wean when she is ready and until then I am going to enjoy that very special time. I don't think she's close to wanting to wean at all though (Yay) cause she still gets so excited when I sign nurse and ask her id she wants to. It warms my heart!! I think by making it such a special bonding time, we encourage them to want to nurse longer. Thanks so much for sharing the poem, it's great!!

  5. good for you for keeping it up! I gave it up with my son when he was 21 months and it was really only because he was a rough nurser...think clawing and kicking (he was playing with me, not fighting it)...not relaxing AT ALL for either of us. But he loved it, constantly asked for it so I kept it up for as long as I could. When I finally decided to wean him, he gave it up so smoothly, I'm perfectly happy to say that it was the right time for both of us.

  6. This is such a good post! I think it's wonderful to nurse as long as both parties are still into it. I really hate how people outside the mother/child bond feel like they have some sort of say into how long baby should nurse.

  7. Thank you so much for this post! So many people think I'm insane when I tell them I'm going to nurse Jackson past a year. I also adore nursing him and I worked long and hard to make it work for us. He's a boobie man and totally refuses bottles! I appreciate your candor!

  8. As you know, this is the first time I've ever gotten this far with breastfeeding and have no intention on stopping anytime soon. I guess since I never got as far as I wanted with my others, I never got the comments and didn't expect to get them with Leah either. But they've already started for me too, and it sucks big time. My sil is the worst. She nurses her babies til they get teeth and then she is DONE. And she doesn't understand AT ALL why anyone would nurse past a year, since at that point they can just drink cow's milk. I was talking to her this weekend about how mine and Eric's 10 year anniversary is next year and we wanted to go on a vacation without the kids, but that Leah may still be nursing at that point, so instead we're gonna wait til she's weaned and then go somewhere. She was like, "wait, Leah will be like 18 mos old by your anniversary next year." And I was like, "yeah, I know. She might be done by then, but I don't know." And she had a holy frickin cow! "You're still going to be breastfeeding her then??!?? She'll be like Graham's size! That's crazy!!!" I gave her a few bullet points about why it WASN'T crazy, and that she shouldn't be so judgemental. I know most of our family realizes I'll be nursing til a year since Leah won't take a bottle, but I think they might all assume I'll wean her at that point. And I don't have any intention in doing that. I think I too will cry each time she drops a feeding. Heck, a few weeks ago she slept through the night a couple nights in a row and I cried because I thought the nightime feedings were over. Luckily, they're not! lol

    Gosh, I just wrote a chapter. Just wanna say I'm there with you and am so glad there are women out there like you who don't listen to what everyone else thinks!

  9. It's your child. Mommy knows best. I see no issues with it.

  10. By the time my son was 6 months old I had people asking me when I was going to wean him. I don't get it, I don't understand why people care?

  11. Amy have you seen your kids they might starve if you wean him!

  12. I really do not understand why others have to voice their opinion about this. You are the mommy and you know what is best for your child. You keep following your heart and you and your baby will know when the time is right. Thank you for your comment about my daughter. I really appreciate it. I posted an update. Have a great night!

    Mama Hen

  13. Only YOU know what's right for you baby!! Remember that!! Take your time, and enjoy the time you have with him!

    By the way I have an award for you, so stop by my blog and grab it! http://corisbigmouth.blogspot.com/2010/09/cherry-on-top.html

  14. I got so sick of those comments that I started telling people that I was making plans to visit her Kindergarten class every day for a mid day snack.. I even kept saying it after I quit nursing her at 18 months.. I probably would still say it to some people that annoy me the most and she's 3. I too grieved that loss when I stopped nursing. I say do it as long as you feel good doing it and don't let anyone take those moments away from you! I mean, we can't be perfect or everyone will be jealous. So, if you give them breastfeeding... You know what, I think they're just going to be jealous because seriously, how can you say someone is a bad mother for breastfeeding? There's only one reason I can think that people would put their two cents in about something like this. GUILT...

  15. Good for you! Nate is almost 13 months and still going strong...though showing some signs that he might drop my favorite feeding (nighttime). I am so ashamed that I judged people for nursing "too long" in the past. I had no idea how important it is, and how special it is for baby and mama.

  16. I think that is AWESOME!!! I loved nursing my babies also! And YES it is totally up to them! Mine all stopped nursing when they were ready.

    My youngest nursed until she was 18 months old!

    Breast is BEST!!!


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