Tuesday, December 22, 2009

My husband's superpowers

My husband has superpowers. Its part funny. Part completely frustrating. First and foremost, T forgets everything. Mostly seemingly trivial things like where he put the baby's binky he just had in his hand, whether he is supposed to work that night, what his mother said on the phone five minutes ago. His powers force him to forget entire conversations on a frighteningly frequent basis. Which causes all sorts of interesting situations. Especially where the boys or time are involved.

 He also has some sort of negative force field that only applies to sets of keys. In the five years we have been married, he has lost four sets of keys permanently. Never to be found again. One set of keys had the only key to my car (a Lumina) on it. Doesn't sound like a big deal right? Just get a new one made. EXCEPT that this was one of those electronic chip keys that you have to order from the manufacturer. Come to find out, the car was more than five years old so the key could no longer be replaced which in turn TOTALLED the car. Whats even more amazing about his key losing superpower is that even after I reamed him up nd sideways about totalling that car, he has lost two more sets of keys. Nice right?

Another super power seems to be related to the eight million times he has forgotten to get gas and run one or the other of the cars until they quit. This lovely little scenario happens constantly. Once, he actually remembered he was almost out of gas, set the GPS to find him a gas station and then ran out of gas because that station was closed for the evening. Did I mention that he ran out of gas in the worst part of town? And the reason the station was closed was because it was after midnight? Now that takes talent.

Now, there are some exceptions to this super powers. T can remember everyone he has ever known's birthday. Literally. He can also seem to remember every trick and hidey hole in the Super Nintendo game "Aladdin". Now, those might seems like important life skills to, say, another man, but to a wife they are not so impressive. Fortunately, also, when he leaves the house with out me, his super powers seem to digress enough that they do not affect his job. This is good. For all of humanity. Now if only we could figure out how to fix this at home.

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