Wednesday, June 8, 2011

Stressed Out Mama

It really is a jerk, isn't it? I have found myself at the epicenter of a massive stress monsoon here lately. The problem is, none of it is really in my control. The last month has been a nasty one. It started off with some in law craziness that I won't get into but suffice it to say that I am not what they think of me. I have neither horns nor some skewed super plan to destroy life as anyone knows it.

After that, T went through a period of  job opportunities that just weren't quite what we need. Now, while getting job offers, even if you can't take them, seems like not that big of a deal, you have to realize that for us, any move has to be very strategic. I stay home with the boys and while I wouldn't trade that for the world, things can get tight money- wise. So, when an opportunity comes along for T that would be a good fit in some ways, if the money isn't what we need, its just not even an option anymore. We have little to no wiggle room to try out a new job and take any kind of loss that usually accompanies a new career field. That is partly do to the fact that T doesn't really have a career field. He has dabbled in everything. So lots of excitement squished by money troubles.

Then of course, D and I got strep. Fun stuff. I thought mine was just a sinus infection gone on too long but it turns out, after a late night, fever filled night at the emergency room, I just had a weird presentation of every ones favorite sickness. A few days later, D started acting out. Now, something you should know about D is that when he is tired/ hungry/ sick/ anything other than normal, he acts out. Screams, whines, throws things, etc. Totally out of character. Just not my regular, easy going D. So, as soon as he started fighting bedtime and screaming we knew something was up. Another late night, fever filled night at the emergency room for him and T and he got the diagnoses. My baby has been on his first dose of antibiotics. Sad face.

Which brings us to the next fun event. I don't really know if this is one of those side effects that all kids get on antibiotics but D has been a mess. A whiny, sleepy mess. He just wants to chill on the couch all the time and if we have to go somewhere its meltdown city. Talk about stressed out mama. I can't stay in the house all the time. I start to go wacky. Not a pretty site. So being house bound with the boys has been quite stressful. Not because we aren't having a good time snuggling and playing board games and such but because Mama needs out. I live my life according to two tiny tyrants schedules. Perfect as they may be we all need out.

Oh, and don't forget the part where our air conditioner stopped blowing cold air. That is fun in nearly 100 degree weather!

Then Sunday is my birthday. Not really excited about it. I am getting older... Yay? T likes to give me crap because I am three months older than him so for the next three months I will get taunted and ragged on about being the old lady. Plus, we never really do too much to celebrate so its not that big of a deal.

Add all this to the regular stresses of life and it makes for one tired, cranky kind of mama. Something I am trying to fix this week. I am focusing on spend some me time again. I don't want to wear myself out to the point I make myself sick again. Its a personality flaw I have. The mama bird syndrome.

This weekend, I am headed out of town with my best friend for an overnight trip. The first I have taken away from my boys since D was born almost 4 years ago. While I am nervous as heck to leave them, they will be fine and I know we all need a break. From each other and from the house. Hopefully I will at least get a good night's sleep.

Anyway, sorry for the whine party. Hopefully I can get it all sorted and squared away. A little break will make the world of difference. Anyone have any suggestions on how to make it all work without getting stressed?

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