My Big Boy

My sweet baby D,

Only, you aren't a baby anymore, are you? You are three years old today. Its so hard to believe that sweet little bald ball of pure love you were when you were born has turned into such a sweet big ball of pure love with hair.

You were born late at night, upside down and screaming your little head off. You were my big boy and you came out ready to eat. You nursed like a true champ right from the very start and you made it so easy on your new mama. It broke my heart when you weaned later. I am not sure its something you will ever understand but I know you understand the bond that has resulted from our nursing relationship. I see it in the way you act and the way you look at me.

Your first year seemed to move so slowly for me. You hit every milestone early. Months early. With each milestone came such joy and such pride but also a little bit of sadness that you were growing up. You always made life seem so seamless. Nothing ever affected you like it does me. You were always the happy camper. Friendly to everyone and happy to be anywhere. You are still that way and it makes me so happy. As soon as you could, you were into everything. You were able to climb up on the couch before you could crawl. I swore you were part monkey.

Your second year was full of fun and adventures too. You started walking just before your first birthday and from then on, nothing stopped you. You were up and down and all around. Testing new boundaries and touching everything you could reach. The only problem was, that with your monkey like abilities, you could reach everything. There is absolutely nothing in our house that you can't reach. Gates? You climbed up and over without slowing down. Baby locks? You figured them out. Plug covers? You pulled out with your teeth (He really did this guys. Scared the living shit out of me). You have never been afraid to climb to the highest point in a room and stand there proudly. You would probably jump if you had the chance.

We found out I was excepting Kai when you were 15 months old. I was excited about your brother but I worried so much about how you would handle it. Would you be a good brother? Would you be jealous? Would you ignore him? Would you have to take a lesser role in my life? I spent a lot of time thinking and fretting. You were too young to really talk to about it. To understand what was going on.

You know what though? From the very first second you met your brother, you have done nothing but love and adore him. When you first saw him laying there on my bed, the morning after we came home, you ran up and said "hi baby!" and kissed him right on the nose. It was like you just expected him to be there somehow. Like that was what you had been waiting on for a long time. You have been my little helper with him and have never complained once. You have always been such an awesome big brother. Above and beyond what I ever would have imagined. Your brother absolutely adores your right back.

I was in the hospital on your second birthday. You came to visit me and we sat on my bed and shared a pack of graham crackers while we watched something on TV and snuggled. I remember how huge you looked sitting there. Your hands looked like they had tripled in size since I had seen you two days before. You weren't a baby anymore. I don't think I have ever cried so hard, than when it came time for you to leave and I had to watch the elevator doors shut with you on the other side. The look you gave me was just so sad. It nearly broke your mama's heart.

This past year has been an amazing journey. Watching you grow from toddler to little boy. You are so smart and you are so eager to learn. You continue to hit milestones early and it just astounds me how well you retain information. Granted, it sometimes works to my disadvantage that your mind is a steel trap but it still amazes me. You have grown tall and slim. You are more muscular than any little kid I have ever seen. Strong as an ox. You still are happy to be. Just to be. You have your moments where you have a huge fit about something (usually leaving somewhere you really want to be) but for the most part, you are still my happy camper. 

D, I am so proud of you. You are everything any parent would want in a child. You are sweet. You are smart. You love with you whole body, mind and spirit. You are strong willed. You are kind to others even when they are not kind to you. You are fearless and strong. You are an amazing brother and son. You are my sweet baby Dane, and you always will be.

Love, Mama

D Turns Three