Tuesday, September 14, 2010

My Baby

My beautiful K,

I can't believe you are a year old already. Why did time seem to go so fast? It seems like I took that pregnancy test a couple of months ago. Not a year and a half ago. I was so excited to find out about you coming. You were a surprise but very much wanted. I can't describe the feeling of knowing you were on your way. A mix of panic and immediate longing to meet you.

Being pregnant with you was a lot easier than it was with your brother. I was hardly sick and the excitement only grew stronger as we got closer and closer. I got bigger with you than I did your brother. Almost ridiculously large for someone as tall as I am. It was okay though, it just meant you were healthy.

The day before your birth.

When we checked into the hospital the night before my induction, I was so anxious. Anxious to meet your little face and see who you looked like. Anxious to snuggle you close and share you with your daddy and brother. You daddy was so excited to meet you too.

My last pregnancy photo (8 minutes before your birth).
As soon as you were born and were placed up on my chest the first thing that struck me was you had hair! Something your brother still didn't have much of. That and your cry. You sounded so sad. Like your little heart had been broken. You were so beautiful. You were a chunky little ball of snuggly love right from the start. You nursed like a champ from the very first minute of life and never looked back.

Fresh Squeezed.

When the nurses finally got around to cleaning you off and weighing you, they noticed you were having tremors in your limbs and asked for permission to check your blood sugar. I told them it was fine and they discovered that it was low. The pediatrician suggested that we let you nurse again and check them again only for them to drop even lower. I was transferred upstairs to our recovery room and they took you and your daddy to have them checked them again.

Shortly after I got settled, they brought you to me and told me that they were taking you to the NICU to try to get your blood sugar stabilized. I remember your daddy leaving with you and sitting in my bed, bawling my eyes out. Soon, I was able to come and join you and I rarely left your side. For the next three days, we snuggled, skin to skin, almost constantly. I would sit and rock and nurse and stroke your tiny little feet and talk to you about your brother and how much we all love you. Your numbers climbed faster than the nurses had seen any babies and soon we were transferred to the "upstairs NICU" where they sent the less serious cases. The next evening, you were released and we were finally a family as we took you home and snuggled you close.

All hooked up.
You have always been a great baby. You definitely have your opinions on things and don't care who knows it but as long as your needs are met, you are a generally happy little guy. Your little temper has always been a sordid source of humor to us, earning you the nickname "monster" and "hulk baby". You are so much like your mama.

So angwy.
You have always loved to snuggle too. You are happiest when snuggled up on mommy's chest. You are most definitely a mama's boy, through and through. No matter what else was going on around us, you have always been happy in mama's arms. You make my heart melt with your just for mama smiles and kisses. Your daddy has taken the role of playmate and he can make you giggle like no other.

Daddy love.
You also adore your big brother. You have always loved to watch him and see what he was up to, grinning from ear to ear when he took notice of you. You follow him around the house like his little shadow. You squeal when he greets you in the morning louder than if I come alone. He adores you too so it is so awesome to watch the two of you play and wrestle each other. He is always extra gentle with you too.

Brotherly love.
Tonight, as I nursed you to sleep, you reached up and stroked my cheek. I of course burst into tears and you looked me in the eye and said "Mama?" and then went right back to nursing. Watching you grow and learn has been so rewarding. I am looking forward to the next million years and getting to see more of your sharp personality. My beautiful angel. My monster. My sweet baby.


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