Sunday, February 28, 2010

Intro to T and Our Story

*I have to lump these two together. Its the only way I can think of them making sense.*

Tommy is my dear husband. I have posted about him before and idiosyncrasies but really, he is pretty awesome. Great father, great husband. First, some background. He was born in Herning, Denmark in 1981 to a single mom of two other boys. A beautiful mistake. For the first eight years of his life, he lived with his mother and brothers there in Denmark. His oldest brother, Henrik, had suffered a tragic accident at three years of age which resulted in brain damage and trauma induced epilepsy. So that was a big part of T's childhood. His second older brother, Glenn, and him were very close.

In 1989, his mother married an American National Guardsman in Denmark and they moved to the United States shortly after. Only Glenn and T came with them. Henrik had to stay in Denmark because of his special needs and medicines. T's new step father had a son also. James is twelve days older than T so needless to say there was lots of competition and rivalry there. Things were fairly tense around the house because of the adjustment and language barrier. T and Glenn spoke no English. Glenn ended up moving home to Denmark three years after they had moved to the U.S.. It was and still is very hard on T. Henrik was able to come and visit just about every year, some times twice a year until he passed away in May of 2009. Henrik had a seizure and hit his head, fracturing his already fragile skull. He was removed from life support shortly after his mother got to Denmark. We tried so hard to get T there too but it was just too sudden. T misses his brothers immensely.

Anyway, T grew up. They moved from on little town in Georgia to another little town where he did most of his growing up. Its great because if you hear him talk now, you would never guess that he is foreign. No accent whatsoever. He does still speak Danish but his reading skills are lacking because he moved so young.

In 2001 we met at a local steakhouse when I went in to get an application. I got hired and he still insists that he is the reason why. He flirted with me then and through my training. Incessant he was. He, however, had a girlfriend at the time. So, for a long time we went around and around where he would ask me to go on a date with him and I'd say "no, you have a girlfriend" and he was all " I won't if you go out with me". That is so not how I roll though. He had to be free and clear. We got along really well and had the same sense of humor. Got to be really good friends but he was too chicken to let go of the other girl I guess. Nice, huh? Time went on and he left to go and work for Olive Garden. I would see him here and there. Go and visit him at work and he would come visit me. I ended up leaving the steakhouse about a year after he did though and I figured I would never see him again.

Fast forward a year to May 2003 and I was helping my father move out of his apartment and into another int he same building (again) so I was spending the night at his place gearing up for the big move the next morning. We were standing around in the courtyard talking with some friends of his when I looked up and guess who was walking out of the building? Yep, T. I was so excited to see him I ran up and literally jumped on him. He caught me and hugged me back. I hadn't really realized how much I missed him I guess. We talked for a bit and turns out he was moving into the same building my father. Actually, turned out he had been listening to my father gripe about the management the whole time he was trying to move in that morning. Talk about first impressions. He told me to stop by some time and say hello and then went off to meet with his friends. I didn't see him for a week or so but I would see his car in the lot every so often.

Now, side story. A friend of mine and I had been working on planning a trip to New Orleans. Just for fun. It was going to be her, her boyfriend (now husband) and me. I had talked about taking some one with me but couldn't really think of anyone I would have wanted to take. The trip was coming up in about a month so I was feeling the push to figure it out.

One morning I was headed in to see my father and T was moving some stuff into his place again. We said hello and hugged and I went on my way. I started thinking about it while I was visiting my father and thought about inviting T to go with us to New Orleans. I figured, heck, why not. So on my way out I stopped upstairs to talk to T again and it just kind of exploded out of me. I couldn't stop the words.

"Hey, you ever been to New Orleans?"


"Go with me and (my friend's name here). We are going in a few weeks and I need a date! Of course we could just go as friends though. "

"Wow, uh, ok. I think that sounds like a date."

So we exchanged phone numbers and I walked away shaking. I couldn't believe it. He called me a few days later and asked if I wanted to go to a movie that Monday. I said something to the effect of " Like a date?" and he said " Well, if we are going out of state together I figured we might better go on a first date together". Oh, yeah. Guess so. (Squee!). So we made plans to meet at his place the next Monday (the 15th). We went to a movie and then dinner and then ended up just driving around for the rest of the night. It was awesome. It was like we had never missed a day. We laughed and had fun. When we got back to his apartment he pretty much just said goodnight and went inside. I hadn't expected that abrupt of an ending but got in my car and went home. We went out two days later again to dinner and sat and talked for three or four hours, he walked me to  my car, hugged me and took off. I was convinced this time that he wasn't interested in being more than friends and I was so disappointed. So, when he called the next day and asked if I wanted to go out the next night I was a little leery but I agreed. That night he picked me up and we went to the karaoke bar that he was training to be a jockey at and when I got there I was surprised to have the pleasure of meeting his mother. Thats right ladies and gentlemen, he brought his mother to our date. Anyway, so we stayed there for awhile and then he took me back to my mom's house. We sat in the driveway and talked for a bit and I made a joke about feeling like I was back in highschool. He laughed and leaned over and kissed me. Finally!

I moved into his apartment three days later. We had been dating for nine days. Moving fast? Maybe but it was perfect. We went to New Orleans two weeks later with my friends and had a blast. Lots of drinking, dancing, doughnuts, drinking, and sight seeing. When we got home we went on about hanging out and dating and such for a bit. On June 26th he asked me to marry him. Ring and all. He met me as I came out of the shower with a rose covered bedroom and candles. He sat me down, played and sang a song he had written for me and got down on one knee. I was totally dumbfounded but ecstatic. Obviously I said yes.

The next year was full of wedding planning and decisions and moving and more planning. We wed on September 18th, 2004 in the early after noon. We were surrounded by 149 of our friends and family. I have to say, I think it was beautiful. White dress, gazebo, tons of flowers, bridesmaids, groomsmen and two cakes. A lot of trouble and money spent but so worth it. Definitely memorable. We had a blast dancing and visiting with everyone and then made the textbook exit in a limousine to start our honey moon.

We spent our first night in a hotel downtown, had a great dinner and T slept in my under wear because he had forgotten to pack his. The next morning we got up, drove home to get T's underwear and then left for our honeymoon. We spent a week in Orlando lounging at the pool and hanging around at Universal Studios. We did a casino cruise too that was tons of fun event though we lost at everything. Heading home from that trip was not fun. I wanted to stay there forever. When we got home we went back to the same old grind though. We worked and played. Vacationed and worked some more. We had always said we wanted to wait at least three years to start trying for kids but in the summer of 2006 we decided to go ahead and start trying figuring it would take awhile. Five months later, on New years eve, we found out we were expecting.

SO EXCITED. That was us. We could hardly contain ourselves. We managed to keep it to just our parents and my closest friends until after my eight week doctors appointment. Then I think we literally shouted it from the rooftops. Everyone knew within hours of us seeing that little flashing heartbeat on the ultrasound machine. T was so supportive through my whole pregnancy. He went to every appointment and held my hand while I labored, delivered and snuggled our new baby boy. Some times I think he may have done more research on babies than I did. He has always been a huge part of D's life. He is an awesome father.

We spent the next year snuggling and being in total awe of our little man. He was just so amazing and we spent every extra second playing and devoting our full attention to him. No matter what our days were like, he could make it better. We couldn't imagine loving any other baby near as much as we loved him.

Then, in January 2009, when D was 15 months old, our hearts grew again when I realized I was pregnant again. Totally a surprise but totally not a bad one. We were both in shock but still could feel it. Our lives were changing again and it was awesome. I think T had a harder time with the news than I did though. He had just lost his job and started back at Olive Garden and he was feeling a little off center anyway. Over the next nine months we just got more and more excited. We learned we were expecting another little man and I cried. I was so excited. T had been convinced he was a girl but he was excited too. When K was born, T was right there. In his place, holding my hand while I labored. He was my rock and my comfort. When K was born we both cried. He was the piece we never knew was missing. T was right there with me through the things that followed with K too. The NICU stay was torture to both of us but it was because of him that I was able to cope. He sat with me and held me while I cried and worried. He stayed with K when I had to go and pump. Even still, he is totally in love. Man loves his babies.

So thats us pretty much up to date. If you have stuck with me this long, you deserve a treat. I don't have one, but you deserve one. I think I covered the important bits. Hopefully at least. Otherwise I will hear about it from T I'm sure.


  1. I love good love stories. And you guys are so in the gross kind I gag a little when I talk to you both...j/k love you guys!

  2. You two have to be about the sweetest couple on earth. Everyone in this wide world should be so in awe of what you have. I know I am.


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