Monday, November 8, 2010

Music Monday

 Music is a huge part of Tommy and I's relationship. Its something we bonded over in the beginning and still connect with now.  I will be posting the lyrics to a song and what it means to me every Monday (hopefully). At least until I run out of interesting things to say (Or I forget). Make sense? Feel free to do your own but please link back to me and add your site to the comments below!


Love the Way You Lie by Eminem Ft. Rhianna

Been awhile, no? I haven't been posting MM because I didn't have much to say regarding music and such and didn't want to fill feeds with gibberish. This song though, I have some things to say. If you don't know the song or haven't watched the video, I suggest you do that first.

First, I love the rhythm of this song. I admit it, I sing and dance to it in the car. Its catchy and has that mix of rough male vocals and sweet, dreamy female vocals that get into my head.

BUT. It bothers me. The lyrics bother me to my core. Especially given the young audience that most of this type of music reaches. Abusive relationships are not something to be glorified. Especially by a woman that barely escaped one herself. Women should never give the idea that its okay for a man to treat a woman like crap. To blatantly threaten her and say these types of things. Even for the sake of art.

Also, The truth is, women hate the way you lie, Mr. Mathers. Lies in a relationship are the number one way to kill it. Even little lies. Trust is not something that should be discounted or toyed with. To me, a lying man is an abusive man. Lies do nothing but hurt and it is a conscious kind of hurt. Not okay.

Then there is the video. It got some flack when it first came out and I didn't see it so I just kind of ignored it but then it came up in an auto rotation on YouTube a few weeks ago and I watched it. I can see how people were upset now. Not only do they describe domestic violence but they decided to show it. And make it all sexy like. "Look, this is how sexy looks, young minds!", "Almost punching your girlfriend in the face makes for great foreplay!". Or not.

I know a lot of people probably thing I am overreacting or blowing it up but they aren't me, are they? For me, this song takes it too far. This isn't a song about overcoming abuse, this is a song about why abuse is acceptable and worth sticking around for. To me, that is a bad message. A bad message for kids, for teens, for people who may be in an abusive relationship already. Its hard enough to walk away and break the cycle of abuse without someone serenading them and showing them that its somehow sexy.

Like I said before, I like the rhythm, I like the song but I don't like the lyrics. As a man with an abusive mother and a woman that was beaten by her boyfriend to the point of hospitalization, they had the potential to reach a lot of hurting people but this is what they chose? Hmm.


  1. I hadn't heard the song before or seen the video, but I completely agree with you. The rhyme of the song is great and the female singer has an incredible voice but the message it sends is so disappointing. Domestic abuse is not something that should be glorified or made to look sexy. So sad!

  2. I was in an abusive relationship and I completely identify with this song. I could write forever on it, but i see how you love someone so much that you love how they treat you even if it is wrong. Not sure that the way young people would take it is gonna be good, but I totally see where its coming from.


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