Monday, October 18, 2010

What funk?

Or at least sometimes I feel that way. I don't know exactly what it is. I don't know if its a bit of post traumatic stress from the ride of emotions the last few months or what.

The having a house then not having a house. I think I spared you all this story but it was a rollercoaster of a lady telling us we could rent her house and then avoiding our calls to end up telling us she had sold it. 

Then the birthdays, which were fabulous but exhausting.

Plus the four trips to the emergency room in three weeks time. Two for K, one for D and one for me. Two in the same day even.

Then having a house again but trying to get everything packed and moved in three days time while sick without T's help.

The trying to adjust to a new house and city. Its not been pretty guys. I am having some major issues. Its stupid and I know it but it has really messed with my equilibrium.

Plus all the fun fall activities and events. Plus T changing jobs. Plus the boy's never ending energy. Plus weirdness with a friend. Plus missing my sister. Plus all the other general bullshit.

Even *I* knew I needed a break and that says something. I am not the person to ever say no to something. I am always there if I say I will be and I always say I will be. I'm a social beast like that and it has been my downfall more than once.

Recently though, I have been a recluse. I stay at home and play with the boys all day long during the week, and T drags me out on the weekends. I have been trying to figure out what is up with this funk and its not coming easy. I feel so weird even putting this out there. How first world problem am I right now? I just need to be "well" again. I'm not depressed or down or crazy, just unwell. Something I have been through before and been able to work out in quick time but this time its sticking around. The feeling like nothing is right. Like impending doom. Like the world is just about to implode. Not fun. Not fun at all.

This week I intend on doing some soul searching. Figuring out of basis if you will, so bear with me. I've ignored it for too long. Its one of the things I love so much about blogging. The ability to get things out there and get answers and support. To figure yourself out in words and then look over it all and see its all okay.

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