I Need a Nap

So, the ten days has been.. interesting. I was talking about it with my mom and decided to type it out. I can't make this shit up guys. I would love to even be able to tell you that this week was extraordinary but this craziness happens to me all the time. (Except the moving bit. That won't be happening again for a long, long time.)

~Found a rental house we liked. Finally. After 3 months of searching.

~Tried a McDonalds pumpkin milkshake. Verdict: meh.

~Attended a parking lot carnival. I had fun. D screamed like we were pulling his toenails out on most of the rides and then asked to ride them again. So we did. Over and over and over again.

~Slept 36 hours straight.

~Took my youngest to the emergency room after my husband tried to poison him* with ibuprofen.

~Damn near punched my husband in the face and threatened divorce for being an idiot.

~Took myself to the emergency room after developing a high fever.

~Inconvenienced my whole family and my best friend because of emergency room shenanigans.

~Recieved two liters of IV fluids, a shot for nausea and two different fever reducers by IV (the second finally made a dent). I also got a pretty cool bruise from the idiot that placed the IV. Looks like a battle wound.

~Was prescribed 4 different medications for various ailments. None of which I could take within 2 hours of each other.

~Spent two days eating nothing but pills every two hours.

~Found out after two doses that the antibiotics were on the "absolutely do not ever take while breastfeeding or it may kill your baby" list even though the doctor saw me nurse Kai and then I asked him again before we left if it was safe.

~Freaked out and hyperventilated while resisting the urge to throttle an ER doctor.

~Flushed an almost full bottle of expensive antibiotics.

~Packed my whole house in boxes, while sick, in less than 24 hours.

~Moved most of my house in the back of my van. Seriously, it took me about a million trips.

~Inconvenienced two more friends to help us move the rest of our crap. Took them one trip. Not fair.

~Had a mental break down and hyperventilated in the middle of the night because of the move. T consoled me even though he thinks I'm nuts.

~Checked the time of the birthday party we were supposed to attend Friday about 25 times a day, all week so I could be on time (for once).

~Showed up three hours late to a birthday party because the time on my invitation was wrong and no one decided to send me a text or call to see where the hell I was.

~Had a good cry. Again.

~Realized there is no Starbucks on every corner in the new town and hit Twitter with my disbelief.

~Apparently offended a couple of friends with my Starbucks freak out. They have no. idea.

~Got excited about going out with the lady friends. So excited in fact, I decided to take a celebratory nap before I got dressed.

~Was late meeting lady friends because of celebratory nap.

~Got a dog hair in my newly non-pinkeyed eye on the way out of the house, scratched it and made it swell up and be gross for night out with lady friends. It finally looked normal again about the time I got home.

~Drank a $7 martini that tasted like water with a splash of cranberry.

~Complained about watery drink to an ugly and unfriendly bartender.

~Drank a $7 martini that tasted like rubbing alcohol with a splash of cranberry (touche ugly bartender).

~Saw the band Good Charlotte live. Well, two of them. It was an acoustic set and was actually pretty good. Was almost close enough to grab their feet but didn't try.

~Realized I know more Good Charlotte songs than I thought I did.

~Had another glass of rubbing alcohol (Jerk).

~Danced my patootie off for a few hours courtesy of DJ 2nd Nature. Damn I needed that.

~Made a fist bump pact with the girls over a "got dick" t-shirt at a male strip club.

~Watched as my bestie was tricked into her first male lap dance which immediately backfired. Touche.

~Ate McDonald's nuggets at 3am.

~Got home and went to bed at 5am for the first time since my early twenties.

~Woke up in a surprisingly good mood for the first time in a long time.

~Did some grocery shopping. Finally.

~Realized there is also no Dunkin Doughnuts close, cried about that for insanely too long. (Also hit Twitter with that bit of info but no one got offended.)

~Treated K's fifth busted lip since birth. D, my supposed wild child, has never busted his lip. K got Mama's clumsy.

~Sprayed D with a hose for the first time ever. He was not impressed.

~ Realized K has two new teeth. He has a total of 8 now.

~Got a deep, black bruise on my thigh that I have no clue where it came from. Looks scary though.

~Had a long conversation with my three year old about why we don't play with our private parts in public. We also don't pull our pants down to hold ourselves in stores because we need to potty. No matter how bad we need to go. Sigh.

~Decorated for Halloween. Twice. In two different houses.

*My husband didn't really try to kill the baby. He is just an idiot.