Sorry for the late, cop out post but obviously...
Wednesday, September 29, 2010
Tuesday, September 28, 2010
Apparently I Should Have Kept My Mouth Shut
Yeah. I totally tempted fate with my post on Friday about being worn out and it kicked my ass in return. Thanks again to all that commented over there by the way. Sometimes its nice to know we aren't alone in the craziness of motherhood.
Anywho, I woke up Friday afternoon from a quite wonderful nap and noticed that my right eye felt weird. Just dry weird. So, I called T and told him to bring me some drop on his way home and went on about hanging out with the boys and my mother for the evening.
Woke up Saturday and that eye had swollen up and turned beet red. Now, I know everyone is probably thinking pink eye you idiot and to my defesnse, I did too. I kept thinking it couldn't be pink eye though because it wasn't itchy at all and there was no nasty gooey discharge. It was leaky a little but nothing out of the ordinary. As long as I kept the drops in it, it was fine. So again, we went on about our day. My mother had to go to a few stores so we went with her and then after nap time we went to the parking lot carnival down the street.
That is when things really took a turn for the worse. I rode a few rides with D and we had a great time running around and riding different rides. He screamed like we were beating him while he was on the rides but as soon as they stopped he wanted to do them again. Go figure. After a bit, I started feeling a little woozy and stiff so I passed the riding duty off to Tommy and just hung out with K. I remember think how bad my back hurt over and over but I figured I was just sore from the rides. We grabbed a pizza on our way home and settled in for a late dinner.
Once I sat down at home though, I couldn't move. I was just too exhausted, too sore, too everything. I didn't want to eat, or think, or breathe. I just didn't feel good at all. I got K all nursed and in bed and hit the tub and then bed myself.
About 3am I woke up shaking and I knew. Great. So I kicked T and made him go get me an extra couple of blankets and took my temp. 101. Not that bad. Rolled over and went back to sleep.
Sunday I didn't get out of bed all day. The whole day was honestly a blur. I knew I had a fever, I knew I couldn't stop shaking, I knew that the meds I took made the shaking stop for a few hours at best but then it came right back. I tweeted a little but otherwise didn't much move. I did finally eat some soup late in the day but thats about it. T watched the boys most of the day and my mom came back later when he went to work to watch them.
Monday, when T got up for work, I asked him to get me some Motrin and a drink, which he did and then left. I woke up with D a little while later and actually felt a tad more normal. Still feverish and sore as hell but not nearly as bad as it was the last 24 hours so I figured I was on the mend.
T came home and was messing around the house with the boys after lunch while I rested a little when he discovered K in our bathroom, surrounded by the Motrin that he had pulled down and was happily munching on. Ensue freakout here people. We had no idea how many were in the bottle before, how many he had swallowed if any, etc. We could tell he had at least tasted them because there were at least five that he had sucked the coating off of and then spit out. We called poison control and they told us to rush him to the emergency room since we didn't know how or if he had taken. They called ahead to let them know to expect us.
The drive to the ER was... tense. T realized he had not put the cap back on the Motrin after he had gotten mine before work and I was what we will call "less than pleased" at this late realization. We got there quickly though and they took him right back to check him out. After much deliberation (apparently poison control had gotten confused and told the ER it was baby tylenol that he had gotten into instead of adult Motrin and the ER believed them over us? Problem is we don't even have any baby tylenol. Whatever.) they decided that they were just going to observe him.
By observe him, what they really meant to say was "We are going to hook him up to a cardiac/ pulse ox machine and give him and IV and then leave you poor sorry assholes in here to keep him from pulling that shit off". Yeah. That was fun.
I sent my bestie Meg a message asking her if she could come grab D because he just wasn't doing well locked up in that tiny ER room with the both of us having to keep K from yanking his various wires and tubes out every three seconds. She came and got him (Thanks again girl!) and by the time she got there I was shaking again. Uncontrollably. Meg had some Motrin in her car and I took that, hoping it would help and I would be okay in a few.
I ended up using the thermometer that they had left in the room with us to check my temperature and sure enough, 102.7. Thats where things started to get ugly again. I was shaking so hard I couldn't think straight. T and I agreed that once we got done with K's check, I was going to walk over to the regular ER and get checked out myself.
When they came in and told us that K looked fine and we were going to be discharged shortly, I was relieved. He didn't show any effects of poisoning and she said he probably hadn't actually ingested any. Lucky Tommy.
As T was getting K dressed, I walked on over to get checked in myself. When the triage nurse checked my temp, it had gone up to 103.5. Now we are getting into dangerous territory. She gave me some Tylenol to try to get it to come down, even though I had already had the Motrin. Didn't sound like a good plan to me but whatever. I'm not a doctor.
The next hour and a half in the ER waiting room was a trip. No really, I was tripping. I guess between all the drugs in my system and the fever that hadn't been touched by all those meds, my brain just couldn't handle it. I tried for a bit to concentrate on my phone but I couldn't focus well enough to make any sense so I gave up. I felt like my face was literally going to burst up in flames. Not fun.
At some point, I started feeling a tad better and T called both of our mothers and we worked out a plan to get him, D and K home and my mother to stay with me. I got called back right about the time they got there.
I ended up having to take a bed in the hallway and they checked out my temp, which had only dropped to 102.5 but thats better than the previous so they mostly declared me cured and left me there in the hall for another 30 minutes. Eventually the doctor came by and looked me over. He said my eye was definitely pink eye (D'oh!) and that he thought my fever was probably viral since pain meds weren't helping. Ran a shit ton of tests and xrays and started an IV. Along with the IV came two more kinds of fever reducers and an anti nausea med to keep me from barfing from all the pain meds.
So, there I sat for the next two hours, in the hallway, my IV bags on a plastic contact hook on the wall, strangers wandering by and looking at me like I was crazy for sitting there. I got the starvings so the brought me what amounted to a pretty hilarious sack lunch to shut me up.
Eventually eventual doctor came back by with the diagnosis: Pink eye, Urinary Tract Infection, viral infection in the blood stream (sepsis) and moderate- severe dehydration. Along with a lecture about taking care of myself, he prescribed about a million (okay three) drugs for the various infections and yuck, told me to finish my IV bag and then I would be released. Which I was.
Last night, my fever came back but it seemed to break about 5am and I actually feel much better right now as I sit here. Prescriptions are being filled. Hopefully this will be the end of the icks around here for awhile.
The moral of the story here, take care of yourselves Mamas. I knew I needed a break. I knew I was wearing thin. I just didn't realize just how thin I had spread myself. Literally almost to the point where I was going to have to be hospitalized.
Hopefully I will get that Mom Break soon and all will be well. For now though, we found out amidst the chaos yesterday, that we got the house we liked. Good news, right? Here is the kicker though, we have to be out of this place on the first or pay a months rent at both places. Fuck. My. Life. People. So, I will be in and out here for the next few days, trying to stave off the sicks and get everything packed and moved. Wish me luck.
Anywho, I woke up Friday afternoon from a quite wonderful nap and noticed that my right eye felt weird. Just dry weird. So, I called T and told him to bring me some drop on his way home and went on about hanging out with the boys and my mother for the evening.
Woke up Saturday and that eye had swollen up and turned beet red. Now, I know everyone is probably thinking pink eye you idiot and to my defesnse, I did too. I kept thinking it couldn't be pink eye though because it wasn't itchy at all and there was no nasty gooey discharge. It was leaky a little but nothing out of the ordinary. As long as I kept the drops in it, it was fine. So again, we went on about our day. My mother had to go to a few stores so we went with her and then after nap time we went to the parking lot carnival down the street.
That is when things really took a turn for the worse. I rode a few rides with D and we had a great time running around and riding different rides. He screamed like we were beating him while he was on the rides but as soon as they stopped he wanted to do them again. Go figure. After a bit, I started feeling a little woozy and stiff so I passed the riding duty off to Tommy and just hung out with K. I remember think how bad my back hurt over and over but I figured I was just sore from the rides. We grabbed a pizza on our way home and settled in for a late dinner.
Once I sat down at home though, I couldn't move. I was just too exhausted, too sore, too everything. I didn't want to eat, or think, or breathe. I just didn't feel good at all. I got K all nursed and in bed and hit the tub and then bed myself.
About 3am I woke up shaking and I knew. Great. So I kicked T and made him go get me an extra couple of blankets and took my temp. 101. Not that bad. Rolled over and went back to sleep.
Sunday I didn't get out of bed all day. The whole day was honestly a blur. I knew I had a fever, I knew I couldn't stop shaking, I knew that the meds I took made the shaking stop for a few hours at best but then it came right back. I tweeted a little but otherwise didn't much move. I did finally eat some soup late in the day but thats about it. T watched the boys most of the day and my mom came back later when he went to work to watch them.
Monday, when T got up for work, I asked him to get me some Motrin and a drink, which he did and then left. I woke up with D a little while later and actually felt a tad more normal. Still feverish and sore as hell but not nearly as bad as it was the last 24 hours so I figured I was on the mend.
T came home and was messing around the house with the boys after lunch while I rested a little when he discovered K in our bathroom, surrounded by the Motrin that he had pulled down and was happily munching on. Ensue freakout here people. We had no idea how many were in the bottle before, how many he had swallowed if any, etc. We could tell he had at least tasted them because there were at least five that he had sucked the coating off of and then spit out. We called poison control and they told us to rush him to the emergency room since we didn't know how or if he had taken. They called ahead to let them know to expect us.
The drive to the ER was... tense. T realized he had not put the cap back on the Motrin after he had gotten mine before work and I was what we will call "less than pleased" at this late realization. We got there quickly though and they took him right back to check him out. After much deliberation (apparently poison control had gotten confused and told the ER it was baby tylenol that he had gotten into instead of adult Motrin and the ER believed them over us? Problem is we don't even have any baby tylenol. Whatever.) they decided that they were just going to observe him.
By observe him, what they really meant to say was "We are going to hook him up to a cardiac/ pulse ox machine and give him and IV and then leave you poor sorry assholes in here to keep him from pulling that shit off". Yeah. That was fun.
I sent my bestie Meg a message asking her if she could come grab D because he just wasn't doing well locked up in that tiny ER room with the both of us having to keep K from yanking his various wires and tubes out every three seconds. She came and got him (Thanks again girl!) and by the time she got there I was shaking again. Uncontrollably. Meg had some Motrin in her car and I took that, hoping it would help and I would be okay in a few.
I ended up using the thermometer that they had left in the room with us to check my temperature and sure enough, 102.7. Thats where things started to get ugly again. I was shaking so hard I couldn't think straight. T and I agreed that once we got done with K's check, I was going to walk over to the regular ER and get checked out myself.
When they came in and told us that K looked fine and we were going to be discharged shortly, I was relieved. He didn't show any effects of poisoning and she said he probably hadn't actually ingested any. Lucky Tommy.
As T was getting K dressed, I walked on over to get checked in myself. When the triage nurse checked my temp, it had gone up to 103.5. Now we are getting into dangerous territory. She gave me some Tylenol to try to get it to come down, even though I had already had the Motrin. Didn't sound like a good plan to me but whatever. I'm not a doctor.
The next hour and a half in the ER waiting room was a trip. No really, I was tripping. I guess between all the drugs in my system and the fever that hadn't been touched by all those meds, my brain just couldn't handle it. I tried for a bit to concentrate on my phone but I couldn't focus well enough to make any sense so I gave up. I felt like my face was literally going to burst up in flames. Not fun.
At some point, I started feeling a tad better and T called both of our mothers and we worked out a plan to get him, D and K home and my mother to stay with me. I got called back right about the time they got there.
I ended up having to take a bed in the hallway and they checked out my temp, which had only dropped to 102.5 but thats better than the previous so they mostly declared me cured and left me there in the hall for another 30 minutes. Eventually the doctor came by and looked me over. He said my eye was definitely pink eye (D'oh!) and that he thought my fever was probably viral since pain meds weren't helping. Ran a shit ton of tests and xrays and started an IV. Along with the IV came two more kinds of fever reducers and an anti nausea med to keep me from barfing from all the pain meds.
So, there I sat for the next two hours, in the hallway, my IV bags on a plastic contact hook on the wall, strangers wandering by and looking at me like I was crazy for sitting there. I got the starvings so the brought me what amounted to a pretty hilarious sack lunch to shut me up.
Eventually eventual doctor came back by with the diagnosis: Pink eye, Urinary Tract Infection, viral infection in the blood stream (sepsis) and moderate- severe dehydration. Along with a lecture about taking care of myself, he prescribed about a million (okay three) drugs for the various infections and yuck, told me to finish my IV bag and then I would be released. Which I was.
Last night, my fever came back but it seemed to break about 5am and I actually feel much better right now as I sit here. Prescriptions are being filled. Hopefully this will be the end of the icks around here for awhile.
The moral of the story here, take care of yourselves Mamas. I knew I needed a break. I knew I was wearing thin. I just didn't realize just how thin I had spread myself. Literally almost to the point where I was going to have to be hospitalized.
Hopefully I will get that Mom Break soon and all will be well. For now though, we found out amidst the chaos yesterday, that we got the house we liked. Good news, right? Here is the kicker though, we have to be out of this place on the first or pay a months rent at both places. Fuck. My. Life. People. So, I will be in and out here for the next few days, trying to stave off the sicks and get everything packed and moved. Wish me luck.
Friday, September 24, 2010
Calgon, take me away!
I need a break. From my children and my husband. This is one of those "I love my kids but.." sort of things. I do love my kids. I adore my husband. If you have been around long at all, I hope that it is glaringly obvious that these two little boys are my life. They are my heart and soul. But.
I blame a lot of it on the fact that the last month I have been focusing on them and only them. Their birthdays, their party, their health. Them and their birthdays have consumed my every thought. They have also been touching me/ screaming every second they are awake while they were sick. I have been puked on, pooped on, and fevered on. I have held them down while kicking and screaming for tests and exams. I have been up with them at odd hours snuggling and comforting.
My husband is never home. He works upwards of 80 hours a week and is home for maybe an hour in the middle of naptime. He comes home after the boys are in bed and leaves before they get up. When he is here, I still take the responsibility for the kids and the house. He used to be great about helping out but lately, not so much. Probably because he works so much and I try to be understanding but when is my break?
I haven't eaten much and I know I am getting dehydrated because there simply hasn't been the time. I have juggled and stressed and freaked out and cuddled their little brains out and I have done it with out an ounce of regret or bad feelings because honestly, they are worth it and I really don't mind because I love them more than I love life.
Right now though, right now I need a drink. Or a massage. Or even just a good long nap. A few hours with the girls (hint hint) or just a long, quiet drive would do. Just some me time. Some time to unwind and be me- me instead of mom- me.
Those of you that work outside the home or only have one child (or are just outright insane) probably don't understand and/ or think I am a horrible person for feeling that way but its true. Being a full time "stay home mom" is a lot of work. Its full time with no pay and no breaks. Usually it is pure bliss for me, getting to raise my children and be present, but I also know my limits. I know that sometimes everyone needs a break to be the best person/ parent they can be. Right now, its my turn. Wish me luck it happens soon.
I blame a lot of it on the fact that the last month I have been focusing on them and only them. Their birthdays, their party, their health. Them and their birthdays have consumed my every thought. They have also been touching me/ screaming every second they are awake while they were sick. I have been puked on, pooped on, and fevered on. I have held them down while kicking and screaming for tests and exams. I have been up with them at odd hours snuggling and comforting.
My husband is never home. He works upwards of 80 hours a week and is home for maybe an hour in the middle of naptime. He comes home after the boys are in bed and leaves before they get up. When he is here, I still take the responsibility for the kids and the house. He used to be great about helping out but lately, not so much. Probably because he works so much and I try to be understanding but when is my break?
I haven't eaten much and I know I am getting dehydrated because there simply hasn't been the time. I have juggled and stressed and freaked out and cuddled their little brains out and I have done it with out an ounce of regret or bad feelings because honestly, they are worth it and I really don't mind because I love them more than I love life.
Right now though, right now I need a drink. Or a massage. Or even just a good long nap. A few hours with the girls (hint hint) or just a long, quiet drive would do. Just some me time. Some time to unwind and be me- me instead of mom- me.
Those of you that work outside the home or only have one child (or are just outright insane) probably don't understand and/ or think I am a horrible person for feeling that way but its true. Being a full time "stay home mom" is a lot of work. Its full time with no pay and no breaks. Usually it is pure bliss for me, getting to raise my children and be present, but I also know my limits. I know that sometimes everyone needs a break to be the best person/ parent they can be. Right now, its my turn. Wish me luck it happens soon.
Thursday, September 23, 2010
Winner Winner Chicken Dinner!!
Ok, ladies (and possibly gents but I doubt it)! The winner is picked for the Personalized Necklace from Sew Sassy by Ashley!!
Erin Patrick said "I like you on fb. Erin Patrick". Congrats mama! I will be emailing you shortly and you will have 24 hours to respond! Congrats to you!!
Thanks again to Ashley over at Sew Sassy by Ashley for this giveaway! If you didn't win but would like to order your own, feel free to visit her on Facebook or on her blog! She has lots of other super awesome things for sale too so check it all out while you are there!
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| Sorry about the crappy screen shot. Its literally a picture of my screen... |
Erin Patrick said "I like you on fb. Erin Patrick". Congrats mama! I will be emailing you shortly and you will have 24 hours to respond! Congrats to you!!
Thanks again to Ashley over at Sew Sassy by Ashley for this giveaway! If you didn't win but would like to order your own, feel free to visit her on Facebook or on her blog! She has lots of other super awesome things for sale too so check it all out while you are there!
The Drama Llama Visits Mommyland
She is back in town in the mommy world. It started a few days ago, the buzz about Katy Perry was going to be on Sesame Street. It was a mix of excited and who cares. I, for one, am in the who cares camp. I could care less about Katy Perry and lets face it, anyone that is awesome is on Yo Gabba Gabba right now anyway.
Then they released the video and all hell broke loose. The collective mama drama was all over everything.
"How could they publish this??"
"Boobs! OMG! I can see boobs!"
"Just distasteful! My kids won't watch it."
I started getting pictures in my head of Katy Perry and I started thinking about it. Her boobs are smaller than mine and I am pretty majorly lacking in the cleavage department. I saw what she wore to the VMAs though so I thought it must be something like that. Whole boob showing or something.
The news came out this morning that Sesame Street had decided to pull the segment with Katy Perry and her cleavage. I eventually got curious and went looking and found the video.
You guys, I literally sat through the whole video twice looking for the scandalous cleavage shot. I thought maybe I missed it the first time. Nope, apparently any boobage at all is now "cleavage" in the eyes of the drama mamas out there. I am more offended by her head dress. My kids see more cleavage at Target on a regular basis. Heck ever heard of wonder woman? Now she had some nice cleavage.
So, what do you guys think? Too Risque? Silliness? Are my kids going to boob obsessed because they watched it with me? Guess I should add that to next weeks mommy confessions?
Mommy Confessions
Ok, so we all have them. I have decided its time to stop keeping them to myself in hopes that other mommies will realize that none of us are perfect. Here are my dirty little secrets for the week in hopes it will encourage me to be better. What are yours?
~ Monday afternoon, my mother came over to play with the boys and she kept telling me that D felt hot. I just kept telling her that he always feels hot, he is a heater, etc. Plus, every time I felt of him he didn't seem to feel hot to me at all. Well, finally on Tuesday night, he didn't seem to be acting like himself. Didn't want to eat or drink and was generally lounging. So, I caved and decided to check his temperature. 104. Yeah, I felt awful. In my defense, he has literally never had a fever before and was still playing like so I figured he was just tired. We took him down to the ER and they checked him all out. He has sores all in his mouth and on his throat from a virus but they should clear up soon. He has to take some pain medicine though (so he won't bother the sores) and there is nothing more scary/ hilarious than a stoned three year old.
~ My K up and walked across the room last night. All I could do was watch and cheer him on. I was stunned. I was happy. I didn't tell his father when he got home. Totally spaced. So, hey Tommy! When you read this... umm... look what K did! (He hasn't done it again though. Booger.)
~ My house looks like a bomb went off. After last week being so insane and D being sick this week, my house has taken a beating. More specifically, my kitchen. Its embarrassing but kids are happy, clean and fed so get off me about it conscience.
~ I locked myself in the guest bathroom yesterday. I needed a few moments of peace where I didn't have little hands rubbing all over my body. I feel horrible for feeling that way but I really think they understood. They both sat outside the bathroom door and "talked" to each other. Of course by talked I mean D talked to K and he screeched back. I swear the baby is part pterodactyl.
*Not many this week but I'm sure the first and last one make up for all the good things I did this week. Le sigh.
Wednesday, September 22, 2010
Three.
So, Wednesday was my oldest son's third birthday! I was so excited about it too after his brother's on Tuesday. We got up early and had a special breakfast of eggs and chocolate chip cookies. Then we spent the morning playing and I let him watch all the episodes of Blue's Clues he wanted to watch, which was a huge treat for him! He even got to watch a couple of episodes of Dinosaur Train on mommy's computer. That is his favorite show.
After nap, daddy was home and we went down to Party City to pick up the decorations for their party a few days later. We had a great time looking at all the decorations and touching all the cool little toys they had. I bought D some chocolate and let him eat it right then. The highlight of his little evening.
After we left there, we went down the street to his favorite pizza buffet place and ate some yummy pizza. Pepperoni is his most favorite kind and ate three or four slices of it plus some veggies. He has always loved veggies. While we were there, we had the people working come and sing happy birthday to him. He got a little shy but they brought him two balloons, some cool paper hats and some coins to use in the arcade. That made it okay for strangers to sing apparently because he wanted them to do it again.
We took turns taking him back to the arcade and he loved playing all the fun games. The skee- ball is his favorite even though he am not quite strong enough to get the ball all the way up the ramp. I always helps me out though so its okay. We actually did pretty good!
Eventually we ran out of coins and it was time to open presents! He was so excited about that part! He got some really cool dinosaur stuff (they are my favorite) and a cool train set. He also got the motorized hamster from Hell but he didn't take much notice of it right then. It was when we got home and took it out of the box that all Hell broke loose.
When we got done opening presents, it was time to pack up and head home. He wasn't happy when he figured out that also meant bath and bed time but was so tired that he went along with it anyway. A great birthday! I still can't believe my baby boy is three though!
After nap, daddy was home and we went down to Party City to pick up the decorations for their party a few days later. We had a great time looking at all the decorations and touching all the cool little toys they had. I bought D some chocolate and let him eat it right then. The highlight of his little evening.
After we left there, we went down the street to his favorite pizza buffet place and ate some yummy pizza. Pepperoni is his most favorite kind and ate three or four slices of it plus some veggies. He has always loved veggies. While we were there, we had the people working come and sing happy birthday to him. He got a little shy but they brought him two balloons, some cool paper hats and some coins to use in the arcade. That made it okay for strangers to sing apparently because he wanted them to do it again.
We took turns taking him back to the arcade and he loved playing all the fun games. The skee- ball is his favorite even though he am not quite strong enough to get the ball all the way up the ramp. I always helps me out though so its okay. We actually did pretty good!
Eventually we ran out of coins and it was time to open presents! He was so excited about that part! He got some really cool dinosaur stuff (they are my favorite) and a cool train set. He also got the motorized hamster from Hell but he didn't take much notice of it right then. It was when we got home and took it out of the box that all Hell broke loose.
When we got done opening presents, it was time to pack up and head home. He wasn't happy when he figured out that also meant bath and bed time but was so tired that he went along with it anyway. A great birthday! I still can't believe my baby boy is three though!
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Tuesday, September 21, 2010
The Big ONE!
If you missed it, Last Tuesday was my baby boy's first birthday. His first act of celebration was to spend the morning sleeping in until 12:30pm while his brother and I sat and twiddled our thumbs in anticipation. D kept telling me to go get him up but I wanted him to be able to rest if he needed it.
We spent the afternoon playing around the house, waiting for T to get home so we could go get into trouble somewhere. We touched every toy on the toy shelves and K did a good job of tasting them ALL. Buttons were pushed on all toys that had them. We danced when they played music. Much silliness and fun was had. We spent a little time outside taking some celebratory first birthday pictures too but he was more interested in what his big brother was doing behind him than in me making every silly face and noise I could think of to make him look.
When Tommy finally got home, we took off to Target and enjoyed one of K's favorite snacks: a soft pretzel with all the salt knocked off. We did some wandering around and piddling but mostly totally forgot to look at toys which was the whole reason we were there and headed home for naptime.
He took an amazingly short nap which was no wonder considering he had slept like 15 hours overnight. Then we headed down to the mall area, to the local Sweet Tomatoes restaurant and proceeded to stuff ourselves full of salad and soup. K shares his brothers love for raw veggies and I think he ate more than I did. Of course, he also got some happy birthday ice cream, which he thought was just the awesome sauce and our waitress was sweet enough to give him a bag full of cookies as a "gift".
We spent the next two hours after that looking for a present for him. Yep, we are bad parents and totally slacked on getting him a gift until the night of his birthday. We tried Babies R Us but they didn't have anything fun, so we hit up a different Target and got him what I had been meaning to buy for him for weeks and just never got around to getting. Then we grabbed some wrapping paper and headed out to the car.
While I wrapped the presents in the parking lot, T got the boys buckled into his car seat and all ready to head home. Of course by this time, it was nearly bed time. So, as soon as we got home, we jumped out, went in, and got started letting him unwrap! He was actually a lot more enthusiastic about unwrapping his presents than I thought he was going to be. He loves paper anyway and being encouraged to rip up the pretty wrapping paper was just up his alley. Plus, he was so excited about what he got. Some squishy blocks and a play telephone. Sometimes kids are too easy.
We spent a little bit of time playing with the new toys and giggling as a family but then it was his bed time. So, we got him all changed and snuggley ready for bed. I sat down to rock and nurse him and it was totally a weird feeling for me. He is still such a baby to me. He snuggled in close and tucked his tiny little hands between my chest and his and closed his eyes like he always does when he nurses at night and I couldn't believe it had really been a year. A whole year? Babies just don't keep.
We spent the afternoon playing around the house, waiting for T to get home so we could go get into trouble somewhere. We touched every toy on the toy shelves and K did a good job of tasting them ALL. Buttons were pushed on all toys that had them. We danced when they played music. Much silliness and fun was had. We spent a little time outside taking some celebratory first birthday pictures too but he was more interested in what his big brother was doing behind him than in me making every silly face and noise I could think of to make him look.
When Tommy finally got home, we took off to Target and enjoyed one of K's favorite snacks: a soft pretzel with all the salt knocked off. We did some wandering around and piddling but mostly totally forgot to look at toys which was the whole reason we were there and headed home for naptime.
He took an amazingly short nap which was no wonder considering he had slept like 15 hours overnight. Then we headed down to the mall area, to the local Sweet Tomatoes restaurant and proceeded to stuff ourselves full of salad and soup. K shares his brothers love for raw veggies and I think he ate more than I did. Of course, he also got some happy birthday ice cream, which he thought was just the awesome sauce and our waitress was sweet enough to give him a bag full of cookies as a "gift".
We spent the next two hours after that looking for a present for him. Yep, we are bad parents and totally slacked on getting him a gift until the night of his birthday. We tried Babies R Us but they didn't have anything fun, so we hit up a different Target and got him what I had been meaning to buy for him for weeks and just never got around to getting. Then we grabbed some wrapping paper and headed out to the car.
While I wrapped the presents in the parking lot, T got the boys buckled into his car seat and all ready to head home. Of course by this time, it was nearly bed time. So, as soon as we got home, we jumped out, went in, and got started letting him unwrap! He was actually a lot more enthusiastic about unwrapping his presents than I thought he was going to be. He loves paper anyway and being encouraged to rip up the pretty wrapping paper was just up his alley. Plus, he was so excited about what he got. Some squishy blocks and a play telephone. Sometimes kids are too easy.
We spent a little bit of time playing with the new toys and giggling as a family but then it was his bed time. So, we got him all changed and snuggley ready for bed. I sat down to rock and nurse him and it was totally a weird feeling for me. He is still such a baby to me. He snuggled in close and tucked his tiny little hands between my chest and his and closed his eyes like he always does when he nurses at night and I couldn't believe it had really been a year. A whole year? Babies just don't keep.
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| (Click to enlarge) |
Monday, September 20, 2010
Music Monday
Music is a huge part of Tommy and I's relationship. Its something we bonded over in the beginning and still connect with now. I will be posting the lyrics to a song and what it means to me every Monday (hopefully). At least until I run out of interesting things to say (Or I forget). Make sense? Feel free to do your own but please link back to me and add your site to the comments below!
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I Like to Dance by Hot Chellerae
You can't listen to this song and not dance, can you? I know no one in my family can. Its too funny to watch the boys dance to it. As soon as it starts to play, they both drop what they are doing and come running to dance. Not adding lyrics this time because I want you to watch the video. Past the goofy Obama cartoon the rest is pretty awesome, so check it out!
Friday, September 17, 2010
The great ZhuZhu standoff
Ok, so I am a busy, busy mama today! Getting everything ready and going for the party tomorrow! Ack! Anyway, I promised I would share the video of the night of the terrifying motorized hamster so here you go.
Ok, so. A few things here. First, stop looking at my messy floor. We are getting ready to move. Second, yes, my oldest son's underwear is on backwards and inside out. For some reason, that is how he prefers to wear it. My favorite part is when T tells him he has got it and its safe to come back, only for D to turn the corner for the furry little bastard to be eeking across the floor still. We are such great parents.
This one half breaks my heart, half cracks me right the F up. The way he looks at that hamster the first time is priceless.
"Thing. That was NOT nice."
Then his brother eggs him on to do what he is hiding on the other side of the room to keep from having to do. Of course he does and the way he looks at his daddy... Epic (pause it at second 28 for the full effect). If that doesn't just break your heart nothing will. You can hear how heartbroken I am by my laughter.
So that is what we did for entertainment on Wednesday night. I am happy to announce that both boys have made peace with the weird little motorized hamster from hell. Now if I can just keep T from setting it loose on the kitchen floor to run by my feet and scare the living crap out of me. What? Furry little bastard is lifelike!
Ok, so. A few things here. First, stop looking at my messy floor. We are getting ready to move. Second, yes, my oldest son's underwear is on backwards and inside out. For some reason, that is how he prefers to wear it. My favorite part is when T tells him he has got it and its safe to come back, only for D to turn the corner for the furry little bastard to be eeking across the floor still. We are such great parents.
This one half breaks my heart, half cracks me right the F up. The way he looks at that hamster the first time is priceless.
"Thing. That was NOT nice."
Then his brother eggs him on to do what he is hiding on the other side of the room to keep from having to do. Of course he does and the way he looks at his daddy... Epic (pause it at second 28 for the full effect). If that doesn't just break your heart nothing will. You can hear how heartbroken I am by my laughter.
So that is what we did for entertainment on Wednesday night. I am happy to announce that both boys have made peace with the weird little motorized hamster from hell. Now if I can just keep T from setting it loose on the kitchen floor to run by my feet and scare the living crap out of me. What? Furry little bastard is lifelike!
Thursday, September 16, 2010
Mommy Confessions Birthday Edition
Ok, so we all have them. I have decided its time to stop keeping them to myself in hopes that other mommies will realize that none of us are perfect. Here are my dirty little secrets for the week in hopes it will encourage me to be better. What are yours?
~ Well, I made it. I didn't cry at all during the boys birthdays. Not at all. Ok, I'm lying. I cried. Like a lot. I can't believe its over now though. Its almost like a weight is lifted in a weird way. I've been avoiding thinking about their birthdays for a long time and now I have a whole year before I have to be in denial again. Sweet relief.
~ I didn't buy K his birthday presents until his birthday. Like at 9pm. Then wrapped them in the parking lot of Target while the kids were in the car. Its all good though. He was mad excited about his presents. Even if he did open them at bedtime.
~ I bought D a ZhuZhu pet for his birthday. I have always thought they were pretty lame but I passed them in Walmart at 2am last night and it was just $7. I figured he might play with it that much. Anyway, he unwrapped it with the rest of his gifts and didn't seem interested in it at all but when we got home, we pulled it out of its box to play with it. Guys, I have never seen two little boys, especially not my two little boys, more scared of anything in their little lives! Serious terror. So, what did me and Tommy do? We spent the next 45 minutes having it chase them around the house and video taping it. Epic, epic hilarity on our part. K eventually warmed up to it. D? Made sure it was on the kitchen counter still when he went to bed. Then we watched the videos over and over. Parents of the year here. (And yes, I will post the videos.)
~ My boys have totally gotten away with anything and everything the last two days. Its going to be a long day today when mommy goes back to saying no. I just hope its not too long. Mommy needs a nap.
~ I am 48 hours from their birthday party and have still done very little. We did finally go and buy a few decorations last night but its still not close to enough. I know it will come together but I have this mommy guilt thing going on about it. I used to be so prepared for this stuff. D's first birthday was planned and bought for like two months in advance. His second birthday, like a month in advance. This one? What, two days? I can't even really use the busy excuse. I guess thats what gets me. I spend all of my time sitting around, playing with them (and of course blogging) and so nothing else really gets done.
Wednesday, September 15, 2010
My Big Boy
My sweet baby D,
Only, you aren't a baby anymore, are you? You are three years old today. Its so hard to believe that sweet little bald ball of pure love you were when you were born has turned into such a sweet big ball of pure love with hair.
You were born late at night, upside down and screaming your little head off. You were my big boy and you came out ready to eat. You nursed like a true champ right from the very start and you made it so easy on your new mama. It broke my heart when you weaned later. I am not sure its something you will ever understand but I know you understand the bond that has resulted from our nursing relationship. I see it in the way you act and the way you look at me.
Your first year seemed to move so slowly for me. You hit every milestone early. Months early. With each milestone came such joy and such pride but also a little bit of sadness that you were growing up. You always made life seem so seamless. Nothing ever affected you like it does me. You were always the happy camper. Friendly to everyone and happy to be anywhere. You are still that way and it makes me so happy. As soon as you could, you were into everything. You were able to climb up on the couch before you could crawl. I swore you were part monkey.
Your second year was full of fun and adventures too. You started walking just before your first birthday and from then on, nothing stopped you. You were up and down and all around. Testing new boundaries and touching everything you could reach. The only problem was, that with your monkey like abilities, you could reach everything. There is absolutely nothing in our house that you can't reach. Gates? You climbed up and over without slowing down. Baby locks? You figured them out. Plug covers? You pulled out with your teeth (He really did this guys. Scared the living shit out of me). You have never been afraid to climb to the highest point in a room and stand there proudly. You would probably jump if you had the chance.
We found out I was excepting Kai when you were 15 months old. I was excited about your brother but I worried so much about how you would handle it. Would you be a good brother? Would you be jealous? Would you ignore him? Would you have to take a lesser role in my life? I spent a lot of time thinking and fretting. You were too young to really talk to about it. To understand what was going on.
You know what though? From the very first second you met your brother, you have done nothing but love and adore him. When you first saw him laying there on my bed, the morning after we came home, you ran up and said "hi baby!" and kissed him right on the nose. It was like you just expected him to be there somehow. Like that was what you had been waiting on for a long time. You have been my little helper with him and have never complained once. You have always been such an awesome big brother. Above and beyond what I ever would have imagined. Your brother absolutely adores your right back.
I was in the hospital on your second birthday. You came to visit me and we sat on my bed and shared a pack of graham crackers while we watched something on TV and snuggled. I remember how huge you looked sitting there. Your hands looked like they had tripled in size since I had seen you two days before. You weren't a baby anymore. I don't think I have ever cried so hard, than when it came time for you to leave and I had to watch the elevator doors shut with you on the other side. The look you gave me was just so sad. It nearly broke your mama's heart.
This past year has been an amazing journey. Watching you grow from toddler to little boy. You are so smart and you are so eager to learn. You continue to hit milestones early and it just astounds me how well you retain information. Granted, it sometimes works to my disadvantage that your mind is a steel trap but it still amazes me. You have grown tall and slim. You are more muscular than any little kid I have ever seen. Strong as an ox. You still are happy to be. Just to be. You have your moments where you have a huge fit about something (usually leaving somewhere you really want to be) but for the most part, you are still my happy camper.
D, I am so proud of you. You are everything any parent would want in a child. You are sweet. You are smart. You love with you whole body, mind and spirit. You are strong willed. You are kind to others even when they are not kind to you. You are fearless and strong. You are an amazing brother and son. You are my sweet baby Dane, and you always will be.
Love, Mama
Only, you aren't a baby anymore, are you? You are three years old today. Its so hard to believe that sweet little bald ball of pure love you were when you were born has turned into such a sweet big ball of pure love with hair.
You were born late at night, upside down and screaming your little head off. You were my big boy and you came out ready to eat. You nursed like a true champ right from the very start and you made it so easy on your new mama. It broke my heart when you weaned later. I am not sure its something you will ever understand but I know you understand the bond that has resulted from our nursing relationship. I see it in the way you act and the way you look at me.
Your first year seemed to move so slowly for me. You hit every milestone early. Months early. With each milestone came such joy and such pride but also a little bit of sadness that you were growing up. You always made life seem so seamless. Nothing ever affected you like it does me. You were always the happy camper. Friendly to everyone and happy to be anywhere. You are still that way and it makes me so happy. As soon as you could, you were into everything. You were able to climb up on the couch before you could crawl. I swore you were part monkey.
Your second year was full of fun and adventures too. You started walking just before your first birthday and from then on, nothing stopped you. You were up and down and all around. Testing new boundaries and touching everything you could reach. The only problem was, that with your monkey like abilities, you could reach everything. There is absolutely nothing in our house that you can't reach. Gates? You climbed up and over without slowing down. Baby locks? You figured them out. Plug covers? You pulled out with your teeth (He really did this guys. Scared the living shit out of me). You have never been afraid to climb to the highest point in a room and stand there proudly. You would probably jump if you had the chance.
We found out I was excepting Kai when you were 15 months old. I was excited about your brother but I worried so much about how you would handle it. Would you be a good brother? Would you be jealous? Would you ignore him? Would you have to take a lesser role in my life? I spent a lot of time thinking and fretting. You were too young to really talk to about it. To understand what was going on.
You know what though? From the very first second you met your brother, you have done nothing but love and adore him. When you first saw him laying there on my bed, the morning after we came home, you ran up and said "hi baby!" and kissed him right on the nose. It was like you just expected him to be there somehow. Like that was what you had been waiting on for a long time. You have been my little helper with him and have never complained once. You have always been such an awesome big brother. Above and beyond what I ever would have imagined. Your brother absolutely adores your right back.
I was in the hospital on your second birthday. You came to visit me and we sat on my bed and shared a pack of graham crackers while we watched something on TV and snuggled. I remember how huge you looked sitting there. Your hands looked like they had tripled in size since I had seen you two days before. You weren't a baby anymore. I don't think I have ever cried so hard, than when it came time for you to leave and I had to watch the elevator doors shut with you on the other side. The look you gave me was just so sad. It nearly broke your mama's heart.
This past year has been an amazing journey. Watching you grow from toddler to little boy. You are so smart and you are so eager to learn. You continue to hit milestones early and it just astounds me how well you retain information. Granted, it sometimes works to my disadvantage that your mind is a steel trap but it still amazes me. You have grown tall and slim. You are more muscular than any little kid I have ever seen. Strong as an ox. You still are happy to be. Just to be. You have your moments where you have a huge fit about something (usually leaving somewhere you really want to be) but for the most part, you are still my happy camper.
D, I am so proud of you. You are everything any parent would want in a child. You are sweet. You are smart. You love with you whole body, mind and spirit. You are strong willed. You are kind to others even when they are not kind to you. You are fearless and strong. You are an amazing brother and son. You are my sweet baby Dane, and you always will be.
Love, Mama
Tuesday, September 14, 2010
My Baby
My beautiful K,
I can't believe you are a year old already. Why did time seem to go so fast? It seems like I took that pregnancy test a couple of months ago. Not a year and a half ago. I was so excited to find out about you coming. You were a surprise but very much wanted. I can't describe the feeling of knowing you were on your way. A mix of panic and immediate longing to meet you.
Being pregnant with you was a lot easier than it was with your brother. I was hardly sick and the excitement only grew stronger as we got closer and closer. I got bigger with you than I did your brother. Almost ridiculously large for someone as tall as I am. It was okay though, it just meant you were healthy.
When we checked into the hospital the night before my induction, I was so anxious. Anxious to meet your little face and see who you looked like. Anxious to snuggle you close and share you with your daddy and brother. You daddy was so excited to meet you too.
As soon as you were born and were placed up on my chest the first thing that struck me was you had hair! Something your brother still didn't have much of. That and your cry. You sounded so sad. Like your little heart had been broken. You were so beautiful. You were a chunky little ball of snuggly love right from the start. You nursed like a champ from the very first minute of life and never looked back.
When the nurses finally got around to cleaning you off and weighing you, they noticed you were having tremors in your limbs and asked for permission to check your blood sugar. I told them it was fine and they discovered that it was low. The pediatrician suggested that we let you nurse again and check them again only for them to drop even lower. I was transferred upstairs to our recovery room and they took you and your daddy to have them checked them again.
Shortly after I got settled, they brought you to me and told me that they were taking you to the NICU to try to get your blood sugar stabilized. I remember your daddy leaving with you and sitting in my bed, bawling my eyes out. Soon, I was able to come and join you and I rarely left your side. For the next three days, we snuggled, skin to skin, almost constantly. I would sit and rock and nurse and stroke your tiny little feet and talk to you about your brother and how much we all love you. Your numbers climbed faster than the nurses had seen any babies and soon we were transferred to the "upstairs NICU" where they sent the less serious cases. The next evening, you were released and we were finally a family as we took you home and snuggled you close.
You have always been a great baby. You definitely have your opinions on things and don't care who knows it but as long as your needs are met, you are a generally happy little guy. Your little temper has always been a sordid source of humor to us, earning you the nickname "monster" and "hulk baby". You are so much like your mama.
You have always loved to snuggle too. You are happiest when snuggled up on mommy's chest. You are most definitely a mama's boy, through and through. No matter what else was going on around us, you have always been happy in mama's arms. You make my heart melt with your just for mama smiles and kisses. Your daddy has taken the role of playmate and he can make you giggle like no other.
You also adore your big brother. You have always loved to watch him and see what he was up to, grinning from ear to ear when he took notice of you. You follow him around the house like his little shadow. You squeal when he greets you in the morning louder than if I come alone. He adores you too so it is so awesome to watch the two of you play and wrestle each other. He is always extra gentle with you too.
Tonight, as I nursed you to sleep, you reached up and stroked my cheek. I of course burst into tears and you looked me in the eye and said "Mama?" and then went right back to nursing. Watching you grow and learn has been so rewarding. I am looking forward to the next million years and getting to see more of your sharp personality. My beautiful angel. My monster. My sweet baby.
Love,
Mama
I can't believe you are a year old already. Why did time seem to go so fast? It seems like I took that pregnancy test a couple of months ago. Not a year and a half ago. I was so excited to find out about you coming. You were a surprise but very much wanted. I can't describe the feeling of knowing you were on your way. A mix of panic and immediate longing to meet you.
Being pregnant with you was a lot easier than it was with your brother. I was hardly sick and the excitement only grew stronger as we got closer and closer. I got bigger with you than I did your brother. Almost ridiculously large for someone as tall as I am. It was okay though, it just meant you were healthy.
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| The day before your birth. |
When we checked into the hospital the night before my induction, I was so anxious. Anxious to meet your little face and see who you looked like. Anxious to snuggle you close and share you with your daddy and brother. You daddy was so excited to meet you too.
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| My last pregnancy photo (8 minutes before your birth). |
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| Fresh Squeezed. |
When the nurses finally got around to cleaning you off and weighing you, they noticed you were having tremors in your limbs and asked for permission to check your blood sugar. I told them it was fine and they discovered that it was low. The pediatrician suggested that we let you nurse again and check them again only for them to drop even lower. I was transferred upstairs to our recovery room and they took you and your daddy to have them checked them again.
Shortly after I got settled, they brought you to me and told me that they were taking you to the NICU to try to get your blood sugar stabilized. I remember your daddy leaving with you and sitting in my bed, bawling my eyes out. Soon, I was able to come and join you and I rarely left your side. For the next three days, we snuggled, skin to skin, almost constantly. I would sit and rock and nurse and stroke your tiny little feet and talk to you about your brother and how much we all love you. Your numbers climbed faster than the nurses had seen any babies and soon we were transferred to the "upstairs NICU" where they sent the less serious cases. The next evening, you were released and we were finally a family as we took you home and snuggled you close.
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| All hooked up. |
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| So angwy. |
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| Daddy love. |
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| Brotherly love. |
Love,
Mama
Monday, September 13, 2010
Music Monday
Music is a huge part of Tommy and I's relationship. Its something we bonded over in the beginning and still connect with now. I will be posting the lyrics to a song and what it means to me every Monday (hopefully). At least until I run out of interesting things to say (Or I forget). Make sense? Feel free to do your own but please link back to me and add your site to the comments below!
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Beautiful Boy By John Lennon
Close your eyes,
Have no fear,
The monsters gone,
He's on the run and your daddy's here,
Beautiful,
Beautiful, beautiful,
Beautiful Boy,
Before you go to sleep,
Say a little prayer,
Every day in every way,
It's getting better and better,
Beautiful,
Beautiful, beautiful,
Beautiful Boy,
Out on the ocean sailing away,
I can hardly wait,
To see you to come of age,
But I guess we'll both,
Just have to be patient,
Yes it's a long way to go,
But in the meantime,
Before you cross the street,
Take my hand,
Life is just what happens to you,
While your busy making other plans,
Beautiful,
Beautiful, beautiful,
Beautiful Boy,
Darling,
Darling,
Darling boy.
Even though is a song from daddy to son, I sing bits of this song to my boys. I am excited to see them grow and change and become little men. Their birthdays are going to be hard on their mama this week but I am so proud of the beautiful little men that they are already. I hope they can grow up to be even better and I intend on being there to see it happen.
Hop, Hop, Hoppin' Like A Bunny!
Welcome! I always enjoy getting new followers and meeting other bloggers! Be sure to leave a comment here so I will know where to find you. Feel free to take a look around and get to know me and my family a little! Also, feel free to check out my Project 365 blog! The link is in the bar at the top. Thanks again for stopping by!
Sunday, September 12, 2010
That Day.
Was hard. It was a shock to our systems. A shock to our sheltered, forsaken little worlds. I woke up that morning, sick as a dog. I had been up most of the night before, so I called out of work, wandered downstairs and flipped on the TV while I made my coffee. What I saw though, I didn't move. I stood there in shock. See, as soon as I flipped on the TV, I saw the first tower on fire. They were talking about the plane and talking to someone on the phone or radio about the impact. Then, the second plane hit. I was frozen. Listening to the newscasters go silent. Some of them were uttering their own exclamations, some just watching, processing. We all knew. In that moment, it was clear what was happening. It was the abrupt end to an age of innocence.
A few minutes later, my phone rang. It took it a few rings for me to even realize it was going off. The buzz in my head overshadowing the ring. When I came around, and answered, it was my mother on the other end. She was at work, and wanted to know what was happening. She had heard that the first tower had been hit and then shortly after, the school was locked down. The teachers told to remain in their classrooms until further notice. I could hardly speak. I told her in a short, broken sentence that we were under attack. All of us. That the second tower was hit and the reporters were saying something about the pentagon being hit. She uttered a quiet "oh my God" and hung up.
I was eventually able to make it back to the living room, empty coffee cup in hand, to sit down on the couch. I remember hearing the reporters talk but not hearing a word they were saying. I remember watching the people running from downtown New York but not seeing their faces. I was in shock. And then, the first tower fell.
I started crying and screaming. A primal scream of disbelief. Unusual for me. I just couldn't believe what was happening. I knew in my gut, there wasn't enough time. There wasn't time and those people.. those people couldn't have gotten out. It felt like some sort of sordid dream and I though the screaming might wake me up. I kept thinking, hoping that I would wake up in a sweat but I didn't. Soon, the second tower fell and I turned the television off. I couldn't watch. I couldn't stand to think about it so I pushed it to the back of my mind and tried again to make my coffee.
When my nerves had settled a bit, I sat back down and turned on the television again. I was met with pictures of people running, stumbling, wandering through downtown. Covered in soot with tears and blood rolling and leaving dark stains where it ran down their faces. The newscasters had all sorts of theories. They were interviewing people on the street and I remember wondering why they didn't just help out. Why they didn't put down the camera and help carry that woman. There were pictures of people crossing the Brooklyn Bridge, trying to escape the insanity of the city. Then of course was the circling footage of the plane's impact and the towers falling. Over and over.
I sat there in front of the television for hours. My mother came home at some point and joined me. Once, I looked away and realized my sister was there with us but I don't know when she came in. Suddenly, my cold didn't seem to bother me anymore. I needed out of the house. I needed to get out and go somewhere else. Somewhere where I could be numb. So, I headed to the restaurant where I worked. There was not much going on in there at the moment but there were signs everywhere at the bar that there had been a lot of people in there that morning. I was greeted by an exhausted looking Tommy who wrapped his arms around me and hugged me tightly. We weren't even dating at the time but he was there and I was so glad to see him. We didn't talk about the attacks other than the fact that they had been slammed crazy for a few hours and he was exhausted.
That day, September 11th, changed me. It changed all of us. I would say it changed us for the better. We no longer believed we were invincible. We looked at each other with a little more grace, more kindness. We all suffered that day. We all lost a little and a weird part of all of us died in a sense. I spent yesterday going to a couple of birthday parties and hanging out with my friends. Had a great time but in the back of my mind, I was sad. I was mourning. For the people that lost their lives, for the people that took their lives and for the people that lost someone they weren't ready to live without. I don't think I will understand why and I don't pretend to. It won't make a difference if I do or don't. I do know though, that I will always remember. Remember that we are free but we are not indestructible. Remember the lives lost but also the lives reborn that day. Even nine years later we are still seeing the effects and I think we will for many years to come. Its what we do with the knowledge that we gained that will make us stronger. It already has but we have a long way to go.
A few minutes later, my phone rang. It took it a few rings for me to even realize it was going off. The buzz in my head overshadowing the ring. When I came around, and answered, it was my mother on the other end. She was at work, and wanted to know what was happening. She had heard that the first tower had been hit and then shortly after, the school was locked down. The teachers told to remain in their classrooms until further notice. I could hardly speak. I told her in a short, broken sentence that we were under attack. All of us. That the second tower was hit and the reporters were saying something about the pentagon being hit. She uttered a quiet "oh my God" and hung up.
I was eventually able to make it back to the living room, empty coffee cup in hand, to sit down on the couch. I remember hearing the reporters talk but not hearing a word they were saying. I remember watching the people running from downtown New York but not seeing their faces. I was in shock. And then, the first tower fell.
I started crying and screaming. A primal scream of disbelief. Unusual for me. I just couldn't believe what was happening. I knew in my gut, there wasn't enough time. There wasn't time and those people.. those people couldn't have gotten out. It felt like some sort of sordid dream and I though the screaming might wake me up. I kept thinking, hoping that I would wake up in a sweat but I didn't. Soon, the second tower fell and I turned the television off. I couldn't watch. I couldn't stand to think about it so I pushed it to the back of my mind and tried again to make my coffee.
When my nerves had settled a bit, I sat back down and turned on the television again. I was met with pictures of people running, stumbling, wandering through downtown. Covered in soot with tears and blood rolling and leaving dark stains where it ran down their faces. The newscasters had all sorts of theories. They were interviewing people on the street and I remember wondering why they didn't just help out. Why they didn't put down the camera and help carry that woman. There were pictures of people crossing the Brooklyn Bridge, trying to escape the insanity of the city. Then of course was the circling footage of the plane's impact and the towers falling. Over and over.
I sat there in front of the television for hours. My mother came home at some point and joined me. Once, I looked away and realized my sister was there with us but I don't know when she came in. Suddenly, my cold didn't seem to bother me anymore. I needed out of the house. I needed to get out and go somewhere else. Somewhere where I could be numb. So, I headed to the restaurant where I worked. There was not much going on in there at the moment but there were signs everywhere at the bar that there had been a lot of people in there that morning. I was greeted by an exhausted looking Tommy who wrapped his arms around me and hugged me tightly. We weren't even dating at the time but he was there and I was so glad to see him. We didn't talk about the attacks other than the fact that they had been slammed crazy for a few hours and he was exhausted.
That day, September 11th, changed me. It changed all of us. I would say it changed us for the better. We no longer believed we were invincible. We looked at each other with a little more grace, more kindness. We all suffered that day. We all lost a little and a weird part of all of us died in a sense. I spent yesterday going to a couple of birthday parties and hanging out with my friends. Had a great time but in the back of my mind, I was sad. I was mourning. For the people that lost their lives, for the people that took their lives and for the people that lost someone they weren't ready to live without. I don't think I will understand why and I don't pretend to. It won't make a difference if I do or don't. I do know though, that I will always remember. Remember that we are free but we are not indestructible. Remember the lives lost but also the lives reborn that day. Even nine years later we are still seeing the effects and I think we will for many years to come. Its what we do with the knowledge that we gained that will make us stronger. It already has but we have a long way to go.
Saturday, September 11, 2010
Long Night
Thursday night, we spent the evening as a family, playing and eating and celebrating T's birthday. All was well as we tubbed the boys and got them all tucked in to bed for the night. Tommy was playing around with his phone and I was messing with the computer.
Just after midnight, K was having a hard time sleeping. He would fuss and T would pat his booty until he went back to sleep. Repeat three or four times. After the second, T turned to me and said "its gonna be a long night. Turns out he was right because after a few seconds of him being in K's room, I heard an awful hacking, gagging noise. I am not sure I have ever gotten up that fast. It was the unmistakable sound of a child throwing up.
I ran into his room and T was holding him out at arms length, looking at the floor. Yeah, I grabbed K and told T to go clean himself up. After a few seconds, K started to throw up again. This time it seemed like he was never going to stop. It just kept coming and coming. Finally he did stop but what happened next scared the life out of me. I had him turned with his back to me to avoid the nasty and when he stopped that time, he leaned back against my chest and went completely limp. He was breathing but I couldn't rouse him. About that time, T came back and I just looked at him and told him something is wrong. I went and laid him down on his changing table and flipped the light on. Still limp and a blank stare. The scariest part was that he was ghost white, his lips and fingers were blue and he just stared at the ceiling. Ensue freak out.
It really only lasted about a minute or two and he started to wiggle and look around again but it felt like forever. Before his color came back, he started throwing up again. This time, he didn't stop responding but he went limp again and his hands turned purple. So I called my mother to come get D and we rushed around getting some non- puked all over clothes on him and us, which was a total fiasco in its own considering he was still throwing up about every five minutes.
Pretty quick, we were out the door and on our way to the ER. He had pinked up again by the time we left and it had been about ten minutes since he had thrown up last but the last 45 minutes of violent vomiting had definitely taken its toll on him . He was still a noodle. We got to the hospital pretty quick because it was late and we had the road to ourselves. When we got there, T dropped us off at the doors and went to park the car. When we got inside and into the pediatric ER, he started throwing up again. This time he didn't turn any weird colors though so we were told to check in and sit down. The waiting room was almost full.
So, we sat there and waited for our turn. Luckily he had run out of things in his tummy so it wasn't as messy as it could have been. He was still heaving about every ten minutes for another few hours and was still limp and scary looking but he never went blue or unresponsive again. So, we sat and waited. For four hours. Considering K was the only one there that even looked or acted remotely sick at all, that was insane. K cat napped on his daddy for a little bit but with all of those people in there, it was hard for him to stay asleep for long. We took turns snuggling him and messing with our phones and complaining
Then they took us to the smaller waiting room, also known as a patient room, where we waited another hour and a half for the doctor. When he finally came in, we talked for a long time. He was very thorough which was nice for an ER doc but it also explained the wait. We talked about what he had eaten (nothing new), about what we had done all day (nothing weird), how he had been acting all day (fine) and all that type of stuff. He did a bunch of poking and prodding around on his tummy and his bum and throat.
He finally told us that what he believes happened was that his intestines has twisted on themselves at some point (since he hadn't pooped) and causing the massive amount of undigested food to have to go somewhere. Up and out it came. He said that it seemed to him that his bowels had untwisted, probably from the force of his retching and he would be okay but he did a million tests to make sure there was no bleeding or issues like that. He also said that his blood pressure would have dropped dramatically when they untwisted, causing the color change, lethargy and unresponsiveness. It also explains why it was only really scary bad that one time.
I had to nurse him and he had to keep that down and have a wet diaper before we could leave to make sure he wasn't dehydrated. We were finally discharged eight hours after we had first come in to go home with a strict diet to follow and instructions that if he didn't poop by today (he has) or starts doing it again, to bring him back. Poor little K was asleep before Tommy got him buckled into his car seat. We were all exhausted but it was so hard to see him that tired.
So, yesterday, we all just rested and relaxed around the house. My mom ended up taking D to the preschool where she works with her so we could get some rest. He came home after lunch and we all took another nap. K woke up in the evening all fired up and back to normal. Besides another little nap, he was back to being his self. It was so good to see him back to normal after the way he had looked the night before. I hope none of you ever has to see your child that way. Scary stuff.
Today we are running all over to parties and craziness. We are supposed to try to slowly get him back to eating his regular diet today and see how it turns out. I am hoping its all over and it won't happen ever again but at least we would know what was going on.
Just after midnight, K was having a hard time sleeping. He would fuss and T would pat his booty until he went back to sleep. Repeat three or four times. After the second, T turned to me and said "its gonna be a long night. Turns out he was right because after a few seconds of him being in K's room, I heard an awful hacking, gagging noise. I am not sure I have ever gotten up that fast. It was the unmistakable sound of a child throwing up.
I ran into his room and T was holding him out at arms length, looking at the floor. Yeah, I grabbed K and told T to go clean himself up. After a few seconds, K started to throw up again. This time it seemed like he was never going to stop. It just kept coming and coming. Finally he did stop but what happened next scared the life out of me. I had him turned with his back to me to avoid the nasty and when he stopped that time, he leaned back against my chest and went completely limp. He was breathing but I couldn't rouse him. About that time, T came back and I just looked at him and told him something is wrong. I went and laid him down on his changing table and flipped the light on. Still limp and a blank stare. The scariest part was that he was ghost white, his lips and fingers were blue and he just stared at the ceiling. Ensue freak out.
It really only lasted about a minute or two and he started to wiggle and look around again but it felt like forever. Before his color came back, he started throwing up again. This time, he didn't stop responding but he went limp again and his hands turned purple. So I called my mother to come get D and we rushed around getting some non- puked all over clothes on him and us, which was a total fiasco in its own considering he was still throwing up about every five minutes.
Pretty quick, we were out the door and on our way to the ER. He had pinked up again by the time we left and it had been about ten minutes since he had thrown up last but the last 45 minutes of violent vomiting had definitely taken its toll on him . He was still a noodle. We got to the hospital pretty quick because it was late and we had the road to ourselves. When we got there, T dropped us off at the doors and went to park the car. When we got inside and into the pediatric ER, he started throwing up again. This time he didn't turn any weird colors though so we were told to check in and sit down. The waiting room was almost full.
 |
| Napping on Daddy |
Then they took us to the smaller waiting room, also known as a patient room, where we waited another hour and a half for the doctor. When he finally came in, we talked for a long time. He was very thorough which was nice for an ER doc but it also explained the wait. We talked about what he had eaten (nothing new), about what we had done all day (nothing weird), how he had been acting all day (fine) and all that type of stuff. He did a bunch of poking and prodding around on his tummy and his bum and throat.
 |
| No fun, no fair. |
I had to nurse him and he had to keep that down and have a wet diaper before we could leave to make sure he wasn't dehydrated. We were finally discharged eight hours after we had first come in to go home with a strict diet to follow and instructions that if he didn't poop by today (he has) or starts doing it again, to bring him back. Poor little K was asleep before Tommy got him buckled into his car seat. We were all exhausted but it was so hard to see him that tired.
So, yesterday, we all just rested and relaxed around the house. My mom ended up taking D to the preschool where she works with her so we could get some rest. He came home after lunch and we all took another nap. K woke up in the evening all fired up and back to normal. Besides another little nap, he was back to being his self. It was so good to see him back to normal after the way he had looked the night before. I hope none of you ever has to see your child that way. Scary stuff.
 |
| 8 a.m. - Going home |
Today we are running all over to parties and craziness. We are supposed to try to slowly get him back to eating his regular diet today and see how it turns out. I am hoping its all over and it won't happen ever again but at least we would know what was going on.
Friday, September 10, 2010
Personalized Necklace Giveaway
My friend Ashley and I have known each other for a few years now. We met when D was small and she already had kids so she has always been a huge influence for me. We actually went through our last (her third, my second) pregnancies together. She started her business, Sew Sassy by Ashley, about four years ago and has enjoyed making special thing for special people ever since.
Here is what Ashley has to say:
"Sew Sassy by Ashley offers great handmade items that are perfect for unique gifts or for a special splurge for yourself! We offer a wide range of items including hand stamped, personalized sterling silver jewelry, hair bows and accessories, custom beaded jewelry, quilted purses and totes, and much more! If you don’t see what you’re looking for please feel free to ask! We LOVE to do custom orders and design items just for you!"
I was so excited when she decided to start carrying the personalized necklaces though and I jumped right on it! They are just beautiful! Then she offered to do a giveaway for one of my readers and I was double excited! Are you excited? Okay, so here is the business end:
Buy it!!
Sew Sassy by Ashley offers a ton of awesome, high quality handmade items. Not just the necklaces! Visit her Facebook page or her blog to see more of the items she has available for sale. If you don't see what you are looking for, send her a message and she will get back to you promptly to work it out.
Win it!!
Sew Sassy is giving away a one disc, one birthstone personalized necklace to one Render Me Mama reader!
Here's what you have to do to enter:
For each eligible entry, please leave a separate entry. *Be sure you enter through the linky and not the comment section or your entry will not count!*
For example, subscribing to Render Me Mama or Sew Sassy by Ashley by GFC is worth 2 entries, so
you must leave 2 separate entries in the linky stating that you are an email subscriber.
You must either include your email with each entry in the linky or you will be disqualified.
If you have any questions, please feel free to contact me!
MANDATORY: NO other entries will count if you do not do this; You MUST be a public follower of Render Me Mama via GFC- 1 entry.
Additional Entries:
~ "Like" the Render Me Mama's Facebook Page - 1 entry (Let me know your Facebook name in your entry)
~ " Like" Sew Sassy by Ashley on Facebook and post on their wall that Render Me Mama sent you - 1 entry
~ Follow @rendermemama on Twitter and let me know you are following because of this giveaway - 1 entry (link to your profile)
~ Tweet about this giveaway: "I just entered to win a personalized necklace from Sew Sassy by Ashley over @rendermemama's blog! http://bit.ly/azLcRO #giveaway #win " -1 Entry per day (Leave the link to your tweet in your comment. You can get the link by clicking the timestamp on your tweet)
~ Grab my button from the left sidebar and post it on your blog - 3 entries (leave a link to where I can see the button on your blog)
~ Write a post on your blog this giveaway, linking back to this post and Sew Sassy by Ashley's blog - 5 entries (Leave the link to your post in at least one of your comments)
Have Fun and Good Luck!!
Giveaway is open to US residents only. Giveaway will end on 9/23/2010 at 10:00 pm eastern time.
Winner will be selected by Random.org. Winner has 24 hours from the time email is sent to respond or a new winner will be selected. Giveaway is for one Sterling silver 16" snake chain, sterling 1" round disc personalized with one name and one crystal birthstone (Valued at $45). You may add on additional discs or stones at your own cost.
Here is what Ashley has to say:
"Sew Sassy by Ashley offers great handmade items that are perfect for unique gifts or for a special splurge for yourself! We offer a wide range of items including hand stamped, personalized sterling silver jewelry, hair bows and accessories, custom beaded jewelry, quilted purses and totes, and much more! If you don’t see what you’re looking for please feel free to ask! We LOVE to do custom orders and design items just for you!"
I was so excited when she decided to start carrying the personalized necklaces though and I jumped right on it! They are just beautiful! Then she offered to do a giveaway for one of my readers and I was double excited! Are you excited? Okay, so here is the business end:
Buy it!!
Sew Sassy by Ashley offers a ton of awesome, high quality handmade items. Not just the necklaces! Visit her Facebook page or her blog to see more of the items she has available for sale. If you don't see what you are looking for, send her a message and she will get back to you promptly to work it out.
Win it!!
Sew Sassy is giving away a one disc, one birthstone personalized necklace to one Render Me Mama reader!
Here's what you have to do to enter:
For each eligible entry, please leave a separate entry. *Be sure you enter through the linky and not the comment section or your entry will not count!*
For example, subscribing to Render Me Mama or Sew Sassy by Ashley by GFC is worth 2 entries, so
you must leave 2 separate entries in the linky stating that you are an email subscriber.
You must either include your email with each entry in the linky or you will be disqualified.
If you have any questions, please feel free to contact me!
MANDATORY: NO other entries will count if you do not do this; You MUST be a public follower of Render Me Mama via GFC- 1 entry.
Additional Entries:
~Visit Sew Sassy by Ashley and leave an entry saying what your favorite item she makes is. - 1 entry (view photos to see items!)
~ Follow Sew Sassy by Ashley's blog - 1 entry
~ "Like" the Render Me Mama's Facebook Page - 1 entry (Let me know your Facebook name in your entry)
~ " Like" Sew Sassy by Ashley on Facebook and post on their wall that Render Me Mama sent you - 1 entry
~ Follow @rendermemama on Twitter and let me know you are following because of this giveaway - 1 entry (link to your profile)
~ Tweet about this giveaway: "I just entered to win a personalized necklace from Sew Sassy by Ashley over @rendermemama's blog! http://bit.ly/azLcRO #giveaway #win " -1 Entry per day (Leave the link to your tweet in your comment. You can get the link by clicking the timestamp on your tweet)
~ Grab my button from the left sidebar and post it on your blog - 3 entries (leave a link to where I can see the button on your blog)
~ Write a post on your blog this giveaway, linking back to this post and Sew Sassy by Ashley's blog - 5 entries (Leave the link to your post in at least one of your comments)
Have Fun and Good Luck!!
Giveaway is open to US residents only. Giveaway will end on 9/23/2010 at 10:00 pm eastern time.
Winner will be selected by Random.org. Winner has 24 hours from the time email is sent to respond or a new winner will be selected. Giveaway is for one Sterling silver 16" snake chain, sterling 1" round disc personalized with one name and one crystal birthstone (Valued at $45). You may add on additional discs or stones at your own cost.
Thursday, September 9, 2010
The Next Nine Days
September is a big month for us. In case you haven't noticed, here is the low down.
9/9 - Tommy's birthday
9/14 - K's Birthday
9/15 - D's Birthday
9/18 - Our wedding anniversary
Now, you might ask if we planned it this way. My answer to which is a resounding NO. We are just very poor planners. That and apparently only fertile in December. Who knows. Oh, and we are moving the end of the month. Anyway, so yeah, the month of September is crazy for us. Add in the three birthday parties we are attending this weekend and the boy's dual party next Saturday and then another party on Sunday and the next couple of weeks are going to be a tad... can we say stressful around here.
So for the next nine days, I am going to do my very best at keeping up with posts and my regular commenting forays but if I miss you or miss a day of posting, forgive me? Its not that I don't love you, I am just probably rocking gently in a corner somewhere, humming to myself and I will be back to normal soon. Hopefully.
*By the way, check back tomorrow morning to get in on a giveaway I am hosting for a friend! You won't be disappointed!
9/9 - Tommy's birthday
9/14 - K's Birthday
9/15 - D's Birthday
9/18 - Our wedding anniversary
Now, you might ask if we planned it this way. My answer to which is a resounding NO. We are just very poor planners. That and apparently only fertile in December. Who knows. Oh, and we are moving the end of the month. Anyway, so yeah, the month of September is crazy for us. Add in the three birthday parties we are attending this weekend and the boy's dual party next Saturday and then another party on Sunday and the next couple of weeks are going to be a tad... can we say stressful around here.
So for the next nine days, I am going to do my very best at keeping up with posts and my regular commenting forays but if I miss you or miss a day of posting, forgive me? Its not that I don't love you, I am just probably rocking gently in a corner somewhere, humming to myself and I will be back to normal soon. Hopefully.
*By the way, check back tomorrow morning to get in on a giveaway I am hosting for a friend! You won't be disappointed!
Mommy Confessions Week 8
Ok, so we all have them. I have decided its time to stop keeping them to myself in hopes that other mommies will realize that none of us are perfect. Here are my dirty little secrets for the week in hopes it will encourage me to be better. What are yours?
~ K has been in disposable diapers this week. Not terrible except they make his bum red if he stays in the same one for more than 30 seconds after he pees. So, I have used lots of them. I got them so I could strip his cloth diapers and have a few left over for when the grandparents kept them but I have put off the stripping every day for one reason or another. The up side is, I am caught up on all of the other laundry. That is a miracle in itself.
~ I have ignored the ever growing stack of coupons on my dining room table for almost a month now. I figure they will eventually cut themselves out but they just haven't done it yet. I really meant to give them a hand this week when there were no coupons in the paper but I was too busy lounging and generally enjoying the weekend.
~ I am in total denial. It hits me about this time every year. I am in denial about the boy's birthdays. I am not ready for them to be getting so big! Normal I guess but I really need to snap out of it. I have not bought the first present or decoration for the party. So far it looks like there are going to be a little over 35 people there, so I really can't stall any longer on the planning.
~ I did finally buy K a pair of shoes. Just cheapy ones. Which is good, because we lost them the next day. So now he is back to barefoot baby until T gets paid. Le sigh.
~ I forgot about breakfast yesterday. Totally forgot to feed my kids guys. I felt like such a bad mommy. They had gotten up a little later than usual and my brain was fried from not sleeping well and I just totally spaced. I nursed K and gave D is "ma milk" but other than that nada. the only reason I even realized it was D brought me the cereal box about 1 o'clock and said "Mama, I hungries. I need a big snack.". Yeah, talk about feeling like mother of the year.
~ I have been spoiling my kids this week. Like, extra spoil. They are always a little bit spoiled but this week they have been running things. D has gotten dessert of some sort after most of his meals (at least the ones I remembered) and K has been tasting his brothers. Plus, they have both gotten new toys and clothes. Add that to the staying up late and not doing his "chores" and D is one happy camper. I really must be better this week. I think it all goes back to that denial/ guilt thing I have going on.
Peer award #3
I received another peer award! This one is called the "Cherry On Top Award" from Cori at Cori's Big Mouth! If you are not already a follower over there, you should be. Funny, crazy and super sweet all in one place.
The Cherry on Top Award’s rules are:
* ANSWER: If you had the chance to go back and change one thing in your life, would you and what would it be?
* PICK 6 people and give them this award. You then have to inform the person that they have gotten this award
* THANK the person who gave you the award
Ok, lets see.
ANSWER: That is a hard question. I think maybe I would try to not get so jaded. Its a huge pitfall of my personality.
PICK: Oh dear. Another one of these...I'm afraid I am going to skip out on this bit again. I just don't like the pressure.
THANKS:Thanks again, Cori! You are so sweet for thinking of me!
The Cherry on Top Award’s rules are:
* ANSWER: If you had the chance to go back and change one thing in your life, would you and what would it be?
* PICK 6 people and give them this award. You then have to inform the person that they have gotten this award
* THANK the person who gave you the award
Ok, lets see.
ANSWER: That is a hard question. I think maybe I would try to not get so jaded. Its a huge pitfall of my personality.
PICK: Oh dear. Another one of these...I'm afraid I am going to skip out on this bit again. I just don't like the pressure.
THANKS:Thanks again, Cori! You are so sweet for thinking of me!
Wednesday, September 8, 2010
My fall favorites
Its coming! Fall! I am so excited! Ok, now stop laughing at me. It really is my favorite. The cool breezes and warm sun work together to make magic. The rustle of the leaves falling from the trees and skidding across the pavement. The start of the holiday season. All of it. So, in celebration of the upcoming fall, I thought I would share with you some of my favorite fall things and activities.
First there is the apple season of course. I am a huge apple lover in general so the chance to go and pick my own is exciting. I haven't been the last few years because my kids have been too young. Well, one of them still is but I think D would enjoy going and picking some off the trees. Besides just the picking them though is the eating them. Apple pie is a big thing around here. I crave my mom's apple pie year round. Apple streusel, apple cider, apple... apples.
Then of course there are the pumpkins. Oh, the pumpkins. Pumpkin flavored things like lattes and cookies. My bestie made the best pumpkin cookies last fall. I wonder if I can talk her into making them again this year (*ahem*). The smell of pumpkin also really gets me. It can be fresh pumpkin or canned pumpkin or even fake pumpkin smells. I just can't get enough of it!
While we are on pumpkins, we always take a trip to a pumpkin farm too. We have done this since we got married. Last year we hit three of them, which was insane considering K was only 6 weeks old at Halloween so he was teeny when we did this. We have gone near and far to pumpkin patches. We take a million pictures and taste all the goodies. This year I have already planned out at least three of them and am considering a fourth. Lets just say every Saturday in October is already booked and possibly the Sundays too.
Oh, and the festivals. Oh, the festivals. There are always the "Taste of (insert city name)" festivals where you can go and pay .50 to a couple of dollars for a taste of local restaurant fare. Plus the corny fall festivals thrown by small non profits and/ or churches (T asked me once if it made me feel weird being at a churches fall festival when we didn't attend that (or any) churches. Nope. Not me. If you don't want me there, kick me out. That is what I thought.). All the cotton candy and popcorn you can stuff yourself with plus corny games and inflatable bounce houses? There goes the rest of my calendar.
Plus, there is Halloween. My most favorite holiday. It has been something I looked forward to since I was young. I just love all the decorations and spooky kookiness that surrounds it. You won't find me in any haunted houses though, I'm too chicken. This year we are going to carve our first family pumpkin. I am the only one in this family that has ever carved a pumpkin and that has gone on long enough. My poor husband needs to get on that wagon too. I am looking forward to trick or treating a lot this year too. Getting the boys all dressed up and taking them out to get into some fun. Last year, it rained on Halloween night. Lame! So we went to the town party and ended up buying our own candy and going home. This year, I am going, rain or not. At least to a few houses.
Of course Halloween is followed closely by Thanksgiving here in America too. Thanksgiving is my favorite food holiday for sure. I crave turkey year round but we really only eat it at Thanksgiving (that may make the vegetarians shudder but its true). That and the stuffing and the cranberry sauce that comes out of the can all can shaped. Its an all day eat fest at my Mom's house. After our third round of stuffing ourselves silly, we eat pie and have coffee while we sort through the Black Friday ads. We make our plans of action and hit the stores early. Sometimes we go at midnight, sometimes its in the wee hours of the morning but we always go and we never go on Thanksgiving. Thanksgiving is for stuffing ourselves silly and stuffing ourselves silly only.
We also always have sauerbraten and noodles at least once every fall. I am not sure how this tradition got started exactly but its one that I am adamant about. Its a meal that I crave as soon as the weather starts feeling crisp and the night start earlier. If you have never tried it, you should totally add it to your list and try it out. This recipe was the closest I could find to the one we make. Only take out the raisins and its made in the crockpot.
So now can you see why I am so excited? Fall = awesome sauce. What are some of your favorite fall traditions?
First there is the apple season of course. I am a huge apple lover in general so the chance to go and pick my own is exciting. I haven't been the last few years because my kids have been too young. Well, one of them still is but I think D would enjoy going and picking some off the trees. Besides just the picking them though is the eating them. Apple pie is a big thing around here. I crave my mom's apple pie year round. Apple streusel, apple cider, apple... apples.
Then of course there are the pumpkins. Oh, the pumpkins. Pumpkin flavored things like lattes and cookies. My bestie made the best pumpkin cookies last fall. I wonder if I can talk her into making them again this year (*ahem*). The smell of pumpkin also really gets me. It can be fresh pumpkin or canned pumpkin or even fake pumpkin smells. I just can't get enough of it!
While we are on pumpkins, we always take a trip to a pumpkin farm too. We have done this since we got married. Last year we hit three of them, which was insane considering K was only 6 weeks old at Halloween so he was teeny when we did this. We have gone near and far to pumpkin patches. We take a million pictures and taste all the goodies. This year I have already planned out at least three of them and am considering a fourth. Lets just say every Saturday in October is already booked and possibly the Sundays too.
Oh, and the festivals. Oh, the festivals. There are always the "Taste of (insert city name)" festivals where you can go and pay .50 to a couple of dollars for a taste of local restaurant fare. Plus the corny fall festivals thrown by small non profits and/ or churches (T asked me once if it made me feel weird being at a churches fall festival when we didn't attend that (or any) churches. Nope. Not me. If you don't want me there, kick me out. That is what I thought.). All the cotton candy and popcorn you can stuff yourself with plus corny games and inflatable bounce houses? There goes the rest of my calendar.
Plus, there is Halloween. My most favorite holiday. It has been something I looked forward to since I was young. I just love all the decorations and spooky kookiness that surrounds it. You won't find me in any haunted houses though, I'm too chicken. This year we are going to carve our first family pumpkin. I am the only one in this family that has ever carved a pumpkin and that has gone on long enough. My poor husband needs to get on that wagon too. I am looking forward to trick or treating a lot this year too. Getting the boys all dressed up and taking them out to get into some fun. Last year, it rained on Halloween night. Lame! So we went to the town party and ended up buying our own candy and going home. This year, I am going, rain or not. At least to a few houses.
Of course Halloween is followed closely by Thanksgiving here in America too. Thanksgiving is my favorite food holiday for sure. I crave turkey year round but we really only eat it at Thanksgiving (that may make the vegetarians shudder but its true). That and the stuffing and the cranberry sauce that comes out of the can all can shaped. Its an all day eat fest at my Mom's house. After our third round of stuffing ourselves silly, we eat pie and have coffee while we sort through the Black Friday ads. We make our plans of action and hit the stores early. Sometimes we go at midnight, sometimes its in the wee hours of the morning but we always go and we never go on Thanksgiving. Thanksgiving is for stuffing ourselves silly and stuffing ourselves silly only.
We also always have sauerbraten and noodles at least once every fall. I am not sure how this tradition got started exactly but its one that I am adamant about. Its a meal that I crave as soon as the weather starts feeling crisp and the night start earlier. If you have never tried it, you should totally add it to your list and try it out. This recipe was the closest I could find to the one we make. Only take out the raisins and its made in the crockpot.
So now can you see why I am so excited? Fall = awesome sauce. What are some of your favorite fall traditions?
Tuesday, September 7, 2010
Wean Me Gently
I have already started getting the comments.
The "How is weaning going?"
Or "You are still breastfeeding??"
My answer? "Yes, he is. He will wean when he is done, I'm not worried."
My baby boy is not even a year old yet and already people are trying to push their crazy standards on us. People thought I was crazy last time too though so I guess I can't really expect people have changed or grown up. They would be appalled if they knew that I still give my (almost) three year old pumped milk too. I am okay with that though. I am not doing it for them.
Breastfeeding for me has been magical. I have been nursing for almost three years straight at this point, short the six weeks between when D weaned and when K was born, and I wouldn't trade it for the world. You can imagine the looks I got nursing a toddler at 8 months pregnant but somehow, it was just natural. It was us. It has always been easy for me and I know I am extremely lucky. I have never struggled with thrush or pain or low supply. In fact, I have always had the opposite problem with supply. One could say I have a plethora of milk. I still leak overnight and K has slept 12 hours since 3 weeks old. That, my friends, is absurd.
The thing is, I think nursing my babies has meant as much to me as it does to them. We are comfort to each other in a way that just can't be explained. Its a bond that knows no boundaries. I crave that feeling of love. I look forward to our time spent together, just him and me. When D weaned himself, I remember being so sad. Every nursing that he dropped, I would cry and then when he just stopped one day, I was heartbroken. A weird thing to feel I guess to some people but for us, breastfeeding has always been more than just food. We have just found other ways to get that connection. That warm fuzzy love.
K will be a year old in a week and is showing no signs of slowing down with his booby love and that makes me happy. I hope we can make it to two but really, its up to him. Weaning should be baby's choice. I just hope when the time comes, we are both at peace with it.
The "How is weaning going?"
Or "You are still breastfeeding??"
My answer? "Yes, he is. He will wean when he is done, I'm not worried."
My baby boy is not even a year old yet and already people are trying to push their crazy standards on us. People thought I was crazy last time too though so I guess I can't really expect people have changed or grown up. They would be appalled if they knew that I still give my (almost) three year old pumped milk too. I am okay with that though. I am not doing it for them.
Breastfeeding for me has been magical. I have been nursing for almost three years straight at this point, short the six weeks between when D weaned and when K was born, and I wouldn't trade it for the world. You can imagine the looks I got nursing a toddler at 8 months pregnant but somehow, it was just natural. It was us. It has always been easy for me and I know I am extremely lucky. I have never struggled with thrush or pain or low supply. In fact, I have always had the opposite problem with supply. One could say I have a plethora of milk. I still leak overnight and K has slept 12 hours since 3 weeks old. That, my friends, is absurd.
The thing is, I think nursing my babies has meant as much to me as it does to them. We are comfort to each other in a way that just can't be explained. Its a bond that knows no boundaries. I crave that feeling of love. I look forward to our time spent together, just him and me. When D weaned himself, I remember being so sad. Every nursing that he dropped, I would cry and then when he just stopped one day, I was heartbroken. A weird thing to feel I guess to some people but for us, breastfeeding has always been more than just food. We have just found other ways to get that connection. That warm fuzzy love.
K will be a year old in a week and is showing no signs of slowing down with his booby love and that makes me happy. I hope we can make it to two but really, its up to him. Weaning should be baby's choice. I just hope when the time comes, we are both at peace with it.
I know I look so big to you,
Maybe I seem too big for the needs I have.
But no matter how big we get,
We still have needs that are important to us.
I know that our relationship is growing and changing,
But I still need you. I need your warmth and closeness,
Especially at the end of the day
When we snuggle up in bed.
Please don't get too busy for us to nurse.
I know you think I can be patient,
Or find something to take the place of a nursing;
A book, a glass of something,
But nothing can take your place when I need you.
Sometimes just cuddling with you,
Having you near me is enough.
I guess I am growing and becoming independent,
But please be there.
This bond we have is so strong and so important to me,
Please don't break it abruptly.
Wean me gently,
Because I am your mother,
And my heart is tender.
We still have needs that are important to us.
I know that our relationship is growing and changing,
But I still need you. I need your warmth and closeness,
Especially at the end of the day
When we snuggle up in bed.
Please don't get too busy for us to nurse.
I know you think I can be patient,
Or find something to take the place of a nursing;
A book, a glass of something,
But nothing can take your place when I need you.
Sometimes just cuddling with you,
Having you near me is enough.
I guess I am growing and becoming independent,
But please be there.
This bond we have is so strong and so important to me,
Please don't break it abruptly.
Wean me gently,
Because I am your mother,
And my heart is tender.
 |
| Fresh squeezed K, startin' his addiction. |
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