Update on Baby #4

Its been awhile, I know. Life has that way of getting busy and getting in the way of the things we do for ourselves, doesn't it? I know its a poor excuse but sometimes, you just can't find the words to explain.

Anyway, last you heard, I announced we are expecting another son this Fall. September 3rd is his actual due date but he will be arriving earlier than that (more on that later). I am still nervously excited about adding to our family again. This pregnancy has been easier in some ways and harder in
a lot of others than the previous 3. Baby B has been easier on his mama hormonally in a lot of ways than the other boys were in that I am not spontaneously bursting into tears every time a sappy commercial comes on and I'm not trying to chew every one elses head off the rest of the time. I'd say the people that love me are quite happy about that.

The weather has also mostly cooperated this year. Knock on wood. We have had our share of nasty hotness but nothing that has really been do or die. Of course it is really just now time for the heat to start ramping up to that point so I hope I didn't jinx myself. I guess I tend to blame the fact that this is my 3rd September baby too. Maybe I am just jaded to the constant sweating and hiding indoors part of it all. We tend to spend a lot of time in the water too though. We have season passes to the local water park and frequent the local rec pool to stay cool.

In a lot of ways this pregnancy has also been my hardest too. Physically, I am more exhausted this go around. You can blame me being older or him being the 4th or whatever you like, I blame not ever sleeping. For serious, I never sleep. I have given up on the laying in the bed making myself miserable by tossing and turning, opting instead to use those overnight hours to catch up on TV or laundry. The worst part is getting lonely overnight. Michael works most nights, so I do spend as much time talking with him over the phone as I can but he stays pretty busy.

28 Weeks

Besides the not sleeping, I have had more "issues" this go around too. It started with a kidney infection early this year, which has now turned into kidney stones. My placenta is lying quite low too. Not quite enough for them to officially classify it as previa yet but they are watching it closely an I am praying it moves up and up.

The exciting part is the measurements though. Baby B has measured big since the very first appointment. He was one week big at 8 weeks and then 2 weeks big at 20 weeks and then 3 weeks big by 28 weeks (See picture). Then, last week when my midwife measured my uterus, it was a whopping 38 weeks and I was only 31. So, 7 weeks ahead. Not cool dude. They went ahead and scheduled an in-depth ultrasound at my next appointment to check the fluid and his size again and all that. The thing is, ultrasound measurements can be off by so much, so I'm not really sure what to expect. Will he be big? Probably. Will he be normal sized and my belly is just extra big because there was only 9 months between him and his brother? Possibly. The not knowing is the worst.

Emotionally, this pregnancy has been difficult as well. For both me and Michael. After losing Gage so suddenly and so dramatically after a perfect pregnancy, its so hard to connect this time. Even though I feel him tumbling around in there and we see him on the ultrasound doing normal baby type things, there is this void. A horrible disconnect. Like its not real. Doing things to get ready for him has been hard. I get panicky every once in awhile at all we have to do before his arrival, especially considering his size and the possibility he could come even earlier than expected, but we just can't.

I can't go through the clothes we bought for Gage and not think of the baby that never got to wear them but replacing every thing we have isn't exactly cost effective either. I can't set up a space for him without wondering if its all in vain. Seeing other blushing, excited pregnant women is like torture. I want to scream at them that sometimes it doesn't matter which brand diapers you pick. Sometimes the unfathomable happens anyway. Of course, being big in the belly department, I get constant questions and congrats from people. I try to take it with grace and style. I try to humor their questions and comments. Thing is, I can't tell people I'm excited to be expecting again when I'm terrified. So often I end up bawling in the car or bathrooms at peoples comments but I can't exactly be mad at them, can I?

The boys are excited though. Well, K is. D is much more cautious this time. I don't know if its because he is feeding off our emotions or if he remembers too well. He mostly just rubs my belly and says he hopes he gets to hold him this time. K is much more involved. I think he is just now really old enough to really grasp the fact there is a baby in there. He enjoys talking to him and playing poke back with him through my skin. He tells him he loves him and tells people all about how hes gonna have a baby brother this time if he doesn't die. All about the brutal honesty, that one.

Really, all we can do is hope and pray for our littlest man. I have to believe that everything is going to work out this time or I'll go insane. We have been working with the midwives and perinatologist to create a plan for his birth and are trying to get as many stop gaps in place to prevent the events of last time from happening again. In case you missed the story, his birth was fast and furious. He didn't get the fluid squeezed from his lungs resulting in pulmonary hypertension. Because of that, they didn't get him the antibiotics for group b like they were supposed to and it took him. Quickly.

This time, I will be induced, probably around 39 weeks, so that we can have more control. We can work on slowing down his trip out and get the antibiotics out of the way before anything is started. It means I will have that classic, heavily monitored, laying on in the bed birth that so many women go to so many lengths to avoid, but I am more than okay with that. At this point, I'd even consider a c section if I knew it meant I'd get to bring him home safely. All I want is a son for Michael to hold and a brother for my boys. Priorities.

Thats the long story of it right now. If you were looking for the condensed version, you are probably disappointed. Sorry. Now you know more than you probably wanted to. Its cathartic to get it all out there though and I know there are so many people who won't ask.

A New Addition

Yes, its official! We are expecting a new addition! We are excited but terrified after everything that happened with Gage but can't wait to meet our little "rainbow baby"! We meet with the high risk doctor soon to come up a labor game plan. Keep us in your thoughts and prayers!

Dollar Store DIY: Winter Globes

'Tis the season! The season where many of us decorate our houses to the T. Making sure every area of our hoes looks like Christmas exploded all over them. Or maybe that’s just us. I have spent the last several years gathering the sparkly Christmas goods at all of the January sales and getting together my crafty sense to make my house look like I have always wanted to but have never been able to afford to. Lucky for me Michael shares my affinity for the Christmassy cheer. In fact, he may even be part Griswold.

The only thing that is a stumbling block for me is that I am crazy cheap. I love to go into the Crate and Barrels and the Pier Ones and ogle all of their brightly colored wreaths and décor but I also mostly only go there to get ideas.

  

This is this year’s craft for me brought to you none other than my local dollar store. I had seen this project on Pinterest awhile back but it didn’t exactly suit my style. A little too fancy schmancy not enough country/ lazy charm. So, when the dollar store by my house started getting out the Christmas decorations, I decided to check and see if they had anything more my style. It was the little plaster tree with the Cardinals on it that caught my eye first. Then the little snowman and people.

The next stop was the glass vases. They didn’t have the three different sizes I was looking for, so I went with two of the large vases and a pint beer glass I found with the other glassware. I tried it out in the store and was able to achieve the 3 level look I was going for by using the two candle sticks underneath one of the large vases and the beer glass. You will need to use the magical glue called E6000 to secure the vases to the candle holders. It will make a clear, sturdy base for whatever your decide to put in your vases. If you have never used this glue, be careful. Its very stringy and stick anything to everything.

After the glass pieces had dried, it was as easy as putting the snowflakes into the vases at the levels I wanted and putting in the little plaster figures. I did have to tamp down the snow a few times to make sure they stayed at the right level as it settled too but that is kind of to be expected for plastic snow I guess. The original post had lights in the bottom to make them fancy but I have a thing about glowing snow. If its glowing, I assume there is a source of light making it glow and if its lighting, its heating. Which melts snow. Technicalities aside, it did make it fancy so if that’s your thing, you can get battery powered LED lights at the dollar store too.

Overall, I am excited with how they turned out! They are a cute little addition to the weird mirrored shelf that came with my house at least. This whole project cost me a grand total of$9 which is a win in my book.

(Hover to Pin!)

Why My Kids Do Chores

Seems like lately I have seen a lot of those charts for what age your child can do certain things. Not academic things, household things. Like cleaning up after themselves, helping with laundry, etc.. I've seen as many different ideals as I have pins. Some expect more, some less. Some think scripture memorization is more important, some focus more on what they can reach.

Thing that really caught my attention is that the common comment with these lists and charts is generally along the lines of "I really wish my kids would do this stuff" or "Wow, my kids would never xyz".

Really?

My boys have always been my helpers. Granted, they like to help but its also because they've always been expected to. Especially over the last few years when I had to return to work and was doing it on my own for awhile.

Kids need responsibilities. More than just doing their homework and putting their plate in the sink. They need to learn to be a productive member of a household. They need to know that the laundry fairy doesnt wash, dry, and fold their dirty clothes while everyone sleeps. That those dishes they put in the sink don't magically disapper. The bed they sleep in? Doesn't make itself either.

They live there too. I am their mother, their caretaker, and love them more than life but I am not their maid.  I simply could not do everything it takes to run a household without their help and still get to spend time with them. I want them to be able to be independent and a productive member of their household without feeling like their partner should take care of them.

The boys do chores depending on what needs to be done and what they can handle. Little things like cleaning up their toys and putting things where they belong but also helping with the yard maintenance, sweeping, and cleaning bathrooms. I spent time making sure things were organized in a way they can be independent and not require help. I pared down the things we use to clean to two spray bottles. One with vingar/water and the other with diluted lysol cleaner. Those two bottles will clean anything in your house and both are kid friendly.

D knows how to use the vaccuum correctly while K usually sweeps the hard surfaces because the vaccuum is too heavy for him.

They want to take their lunch instead of buy it? They know how to put together a pb&j.

Not that they do all of those things all the time but they can do it and they don't give me lip about it if I ask them to. It's all simply become part of how our household runs. No charts or special prizes needed*. We all have to care for it and they understand that.

Of course that doesn't mean it's all work around here. The chores and things they do take at most half an hour a day. The difference is that when you do a little every day and there are more people doing it, it goes faster and leaves a lot more time for fun and snuggles. So its a double bonus. The house stays cleaner and the boys get more of my undivided attention!

It's mostly about trusting your child with responsibility. Start small and understand it might take some guidance at first. Given the chance, any one is going to sit back and let someone else do all the dirty work but given direction any one can learn to help. Even kids.


*Not to say we've never used charts. We have used a ticket system in the past but it fell to the wayside. They just didn't seem to care about the ticket part and did their "jobs" anyway. Just another reason my kids rock my socks.

Gage Jason: His Life (Part Two)

Part two of my little Gage's life. His life. If you are just tuning in, start here.

I waited in the quiet delivery room for a bit before a nurse came in and told me that they never got me registered and she had to get me put into the computers. She was very sweet and comforting to me saying they had a great NICU and she was sure that he woud be just fine.

They finally asked if they could bring me something to eat and for the first time, I realized I was starving. They went and grabbed me some breakfast and I was still picking at it when Michaels mom came in. I filled her in on everything I knew and told her Michael had gone with him and was supposed to report back to me as soon as he knew something.

About an hour later Michael came back and said he didnt look good. They were hooking him up to some machines, getting some iv lines in, etc, and they were supposed to call when they got him stable enough for us to come back.

The next hour was torture. They moved me into a recovery room and the nurses cames and went, bringing snacks and drinks and explaining paperwork. The lactation consultant came in and brought me a pump. Michael's father came in, my father came in. Each time, we had to tell them we still didnt know anything. I was trying so hard. So hard not to panic but every time we called the NICU number they were still woorking on him.

Finally we got a call that Michael and I could come see him. They needed to talk to us about his condition. The nurse brought us a wheelchair for me and we went to the NICU, scrubbed in, and went to Gage's side. I could tell from the first look things werent good. He was hooked up to a myriad of machines and there were 8 medical staff members standing around working or watching. I held his little foot in my hand while they explained what all of the machines were. The oscillator to help him breathe, chest tubes on both sides to try to drain the fluid out of his lungs, an iv and pic line in his belly button and a bunch of monitors to keep tabs on his stats. They were also doing an echocardiogram on him to check his heart. Whatever the cardiologist was looking for, she was having a hard time finding.

The perinatologist pulled us out in the hall after a while to explain more of the why and what. He had what was called pulmonary hypertension. His lungs were not expanding like they should. She showed us the xray of his lungs and explained how much bigger they should be than they were. She explained that the capilaries in his lungs had been damaged because he had not gotten the fluid squeezed out enough during the birth process.

Overall, She was hopeful. She told us that he would most likely be ttansported to Egelston (the childrens hospital) when he was stable enough and they had a machine that could help clear out and expand the capilaries. She explained that he was considered extremely critical but that it wasnt hopeless. They would do another xray in a bit and we would see if he had improved. She recommended we go see him for a few more minutes and then go back to the room for me to rest. So that we did.

We went back and shared the news with the family waiting. They started asking when they would be able to see him and we told them they were supposed to let us know when he could have more visitors.

So we waited. I posted to Facebook that he seemed to be doing better but to keep praying. I texted my mother and told her to come on to the hospital with D and K.

Then the phone rang. We spent a few minutes talking to the neonatalogist again and she said that his lungs were actually improving. She wanted to know if anyone in the house had been sick in the last few weeks. We told her no one and she said he appeared to have contracted some kind of infection but they were treati NH him with antibiotics to try to get on top of it.

She also said it was okay for the family to come down to see him. At that point there was a mass exodus. Everyone went to see him except me. I stayed and waited for my mother and best friend to come. I sat and waited but ached to be back to my baby. My friend Steph, who works at the hospital, came by to see me and check on me. It was such a relief to see a loving face.

When they came back, only Michael came into the room. The rest stayed outside and my heart immediately sank. The look on Michael's face is one I'll never forget.

"He isnt doing good at all." He said. "He's completely purple from the chest down. He has an infection and all the doctors will tell me is its not good. They are trying to figure out what kind and started him on more antibiotics."

We sat in silence for a few minutes letting it sink in. I wanted to go see him. So Michael wheeled me back to the NICU. My poor baby looked bad. He was still hooked up to all the machines and he was the most scary shade of mottled purple from the nipple line down to his toes.

We stood at his side crying, begging him to fight. Begging him to get better. "We need you Gage. Please."

Crying to God "please dont take our baby. Please heal him.".

We stayed for a long time. People rushing all around us pumping him full of antibiotics. Encouraging him. The neonatalogist came back in and kept saying she didnt understand where he got the infection. Transport to Egelston was no longer an option. It was up to Gage now. His chance of survival had dropped.

I had to go back to my room to be checked. In the hall leaving the NICU, we ran into my best friend, Lisa. I told her he wasnt doing well at all and she comforted me the best she could.

Everyone was back into the room and the boys arrived with my mother. Thats when the dam broke. All I could do was drop to my knees and hold them close while I sobbed. They both wrapped their little arms around me and hugged me back. My boys were my strength right then and somehow they knew it. They didn't say a word. They just stood there, faces buried in my neck and hugged me back.

Michael's sister and aunt came in asking what was happening. I tried to make a coherent answer but all I remember getting out was "I cant bury my baby" and then sobbing into my mothers shoulder.

Eventually I came back to reality. The room silent around me. The boys went and got a hug and kiss from Michael and we turned the tv on. Michael went out in the hall and cried, eventually wandering back in to sit.

When I settled down, I moved back down to the couch next to Michael when the phone rang. It was the neonatalogist. She said that they had done everything they could but his organs had begun shutting down from the infection and they were still waiting on the lab results to come back. I asked if this was something he was going to recover from and she replied that it didnt look good. I asked what his prognosis was now, days, weeks, what. She sobbed quietly and said "more like hours". We said our goodbyes and hung up the phone.

Everyone was staring at me, waiting for an update. I uttered the words that no mother should ever have to say: "He's not going to make it".

Chaos ensued in that little room. Crying, questions, hugging. General disbelief. Someone took the boys to the hall to play and we cried harder. 

A few minutes later, the NICU called back and said we needed to come. He was declining and decisions needed to be made. We all rushed down to the NICU. All of us.

As we all got into his room, Michael and me went straight to him, kissed him and cried. At 7:30 pm, my Gage took his last breath, shuddered and was still.

What seemed like forever but was probably only seconds, a kind faced blond nurse made eye contact and simply said "He's gone. Im so sorry".

And then... I died. I died a horrible, painful mama death. One you cant put words to. I couldnt move. I couldnt breathe. All I could do was continue to stroke his tiny hand in my fingers and say "I love you." Over and over.

The sound that came out of Michael seemed like it came from another room. It wasnt until he folded down onto the warmer I even realized it was him. I couldn't move. I couldn't breathe.

The room was full of our family. They were all struggling to understand what was going on and all we could do is sob. We were asked if the nurses should clear the room and I remember looking up at the faces of our parents and Michael's sister and aunt. There was no way I could send them away. Instead I asked that we could find some chairs and all hold him.

They unhooked my youngest son from the machines that were supposed to save him and swaddled him. They brought him to me and layed his sweet body in my arms. He was so warm and soft. I snuggled him close and kissed his nose again. I prayed and cried and kissed.

Then, Michael held his son for the first time and he did the same. Kissed, hugged, cried. If there is anything I could go back and do from his birth, it would be to let him hold his son before they took him to the NICU. His live son.

Everyone took turns holding him. No words to say we just cried and held each other. At that time we were all one family and I would not change that for the world.

One by one, the family went home. To their babies and homes. My father made the trek home to his fiancée. My mother went to get my boys to bed. My best friend kept at us until we agreed to have her sister, a Now I Lay Me Down to Sleep photographer, come and take pictures of us and our little bear. Michael's mom and dad stayed with us and Gage and I'm so glad they got that time with us.

After the pictures and the snuggles, after midnight, the nurse came in and told us the funeral home would be there to collect him soon. We gave him a kiss and tucked him into his little bassinet and did the hardest thing we had ever done. We walked back to our hospital room with empty arms, knowing we would never hold our little bear, Gage Jason Hendrix, again. 

Gage Jason: His Birth Story

This is a story that is so very hard for me to tell so forgive me. On March 27th of this year, I gave birth to a baby boy at 8:01am. We named him Gage Jason. He was born at 40 weeks and 1 day. My little man lived only 11 hours. This is part one of his story I suppose. His birth story. 

I woke up at about 6:30 in the morning to some pretty intense contractions. Something in the back of my mind said "He's coming." but I was determined to not rush to the labor and delivery department this time and get sent home again. So, I got up and went to the bathroom. The contractions were getting sharper and fast. I got a message from Michael saying he was headed home and all I could muster in response was "good".

As he got home, I unlocked the front door and got into a warm bath. It seemed to help the pain a little but I could tell they were coming together in a more regular pattern. After a few minutes, I decided we needed to get moving to the hospital, got out of the bath and went to wake Michael up. I woke him, not very gently, and told him we needed to go. Now.

From there it was a whirlwind. He got up and got every thing in the car and woke up my mother to tell her we were leaving while I struggled to get dressed. It was kind of like it is in the movies with him running around doing everything while all I could do was try to breathe and moan. He ended up coming and helping me get pants and a t-shirt on and we made our way to the car after kissing D and K.

The ride to the hospital was not easy. It was rush hour so the normally 5 minute ride to the hospital took much longer. By the time we pulled into labor and delivery I wasn't sure how I was going to make it upstairs without having a baby in the elevator. Michael let me out at the door, made me promise to wait for him and parked the car.

We got to the desk at triage and I couldn't speak. I seem to remember someone asking if I was in labor and Michael saying "Does it look like it?" before they strapped an armband on me and sent me to yet another triage desk to wait for a nurse to check me in there.

We waited for a few minutes there before a med student came wandering up and asked some stupid questions like "are you sure this is real labor" before ushering us to a room and instructing me to strip and put on the gown.

I was in constant pain at this point. The contractions were hardly dipping before coming back at full speed. I was moaning and screaming trying to get the clothes back off that I couldn't even get on myself to begin with. I knew I was past transition and he was coming soon. Michael came into the bathroom and helped me get the clothes back off and the gown on before I told him he needed to go get me some help. 

"Go get the nurse and tell her I need help!".

He went out and told the nurse what I told him and she said "I can hear her. Tell her to give me a minute.". I've never wanted to smack someone so bad. Give me a minute indeed lady. I have a baby trying to burst his way out of me.

She did send the med student wandering back to try to get me on the monitors. She was still trying to coax me into the bed by telling me they had to monitor me for half an hour before they could admit me because my water had not broken yet (and that meant it probably wasn't true labor) when the nurse came swaggering in. I say swaggering because she was certainly not in any hurry to come help the screaming, laboring woman and the intimidated med student trying to tell her this might not be real labor. They did finally coax me into the bed and started strapping the monitors to me by telling me that if my contractions weren't stopping, it could mean something was wrong with the placenta. When I told her I was fine but he was coming they needed to get me a room, she finally stopped with freaking monitors and checked me.

10 centimeters and crowning.

Told you so.

She quickly sent the med student to call my midwife and get us a room number. I remember telling her I needed to get in some hot water and she said I wouldn't have time. I also remember thinking some very unkind things about the med student which it turns out I actually said out loud and made her cry. I was informed of that later.

Anyway, we were headed down the hall to room 306 when my water broke. I immediately felt better. Even though only a little water came out, it relieved just enough pressure to make things easier. When we finally got to the room, it was already buzzing with people. Talking and discussing me and my lady parts and progress and get her to the bed. The one that rings the loudest to me now was "call the pediatrician, make sure he knows we have one on the way".

As soon as they got me scooted over to the actual bed, my midwife came in. It was Kim. I was so glad to see her. She was the one we had seen the most and the one we both had fallen in love with. She got her gloves and gear on as quick as she could. She said "I see hair" as she slipped into her gloves and then I pushed. 25 minutes after we arrived at the hospital and 80 minutes after I woke up, Gage was born. According to Michael he came "flying out". All I know is it was a one push deal. That's the way to do it for sure.

They put him up on my chest and I immediately fell in love. He was pink and perfect with just a little brown hair. Noticeably smaller than my other two but it struck me how very much he looked like his daddy. And how he wasn't breathing well.

He was trying to breathe. He was squeaking and breathing a little but his color was not good. He was struggling. I kept repeating "c'mon baby Gage, breathe for me" and rubbing his back. After about a minute, Kim clamped his cord and the nurse tried to take off with him before the cord got cut. There was a rather tense exchange between her and the nurse before she let a very stunned looking Michael cut it and the nurse took him to the baby warmer.

Michael went to be by Gage's side while they worked on him and I just lay there and watched. I birthed the placenta (which was perfect) and made small talk with Kim while she stitched me a little. 

All I could focus on though was the little sounds coming from the warmer. He was so quiet. He was crying here and there but not enough. Not strong enough. The pediatrician came in. They were working hard to get him screaming but there was a rising tension and quiet between the nurses.

It was deafening.

When they got done with me, they brought in the isolator and I knew immediately what that meant. My little man was going to the NICU. I was trying to keep panic at bay but I've done the NICU thing before and it was all too vivid in my mind. 

They brought him to me all swaddled up to snuggle for a minute and he was still very blue and squeaking a pissed off little squeak. As soon as he heard my voice, he stopped squeaking. He seemed to calm down and relax a little while I talked to him but he still just couldn't breathe. I snuggled him, told him I loved him so very much and I would see him soon. I kissed his warm little nose and forehead. I said a quick prayer for God please make my baby okay.

And then they were gone. The whole room left in a wisp and I was alone.

(PART TWO HERE)

Where I'm At

Absence. They say it makes the heart grow fonder. I'm not sure about that but I do think it brings things into focus and helps you move forward in a clearer, more purposeful direction.

The last several years have been doozies in my little world. Full of drama and heartache but also full of love and growth. Since the failure of my first marriage, I have learned a lot. Some harder than others. The worst has been in the time since the death of my third child (more on that another day). Add that to the struggle of learning a new way as a mother, working again, and a deepening divide within my own family. It's been stressful and heart breaking to say the least.

On the flip side, I have also had the amazing opportunity to watch my boys grow right before my eyes. They are growing hard and fast. D is looking, acting, and thinking like a bona-fide big boy. 1st grade has been a breeze for him. Except for his handwriting  (It stinks). K is getting smarter and dare I say more coordinated as he grows. He has always had a bigger personality than could possibly be contained in that little body but he is my spice. They are mama's boys through and through. The way they look at me melts me and I hope that never changes.

I've also found love. Real, gritty, hard love. Traditionally perfect love? Maybe not, but is that actually a thing? Is it perfect for me love? Absolutely. I am lucky and thankful for what that has brought me. Strength and courage at the least. To be loved and treated like I matter is a powerful thing.

I say all that to say this: I feel like my life is moving in the right direction for the first time in my life. Which generally sucks at 33. Do I mourn the past? Absolutely. Even more so though, I look forward to the future. The past made me who I am. It made me a mother. It made me grey. It made me the kind of person that has no doubt she will endure.

All of this has caused a funk in my journaling here though. I'm working on fixing that. I've got one story in particular to tell about my 3rd son that is... hard. If you've been along with me this far, I hope you'll stick around. I need all the help I can get.

My Not So Little Monster

My little monster is getting way too big here lately. Yes, he will be 5 in less than 3 months but I never said he was allowed to grow up on me. All of a sudden he has gotten the big boy look. The big feet, the big hands, the definition in his legs. 

He has always had the big boy personality. Well, a big personality in general actually. He's out grown the sass that comes with turning four though. He is much more reasonable and definitely easing on the temper. Still working on the lying though. At least he's bad at it.

He has been a talker since birth (practically) and has no qualms about chatting up strangers. Thats where his huge personality really shines. He can carry on a conversation with anyone. He can also talk just about anything out of other kids and some adults. He's quite pursasive. My mother says he is going to make quite a senator some day. 

He is also losing a little of the clumsy that has kept him quite gravity aware for most of his life. He is getting strong and losing a little of the heft that gained him the nickname "hunky". He loves to wrestle and swim. Baby boy would live in the pool but he's not quite there with the swimming yet so he takes his trusty vest with him.

Of course he still loves to snuggle. He has always been the most physically affectionate little kid I've ever seen. He will hug, kiss, and snuggle anyone he thinks might need it. Even if they arent so sure they did. Especially from a pool wet kid. Still, hes a lover and a big time mamas boy.

My little goof is growing up. I am not ready for this. He is supposed to stay little. Both of them are. 

Spring Baseball

So proud of my big boy! 3 game balls, season champs, and tournament runner ups! Not bad for his first season of (coach pitch) baseball! He had an absolute blast playing and being a part of his team. He will be seeing one of his coaches for private training this Summer and he is itching to get started already! I love that he has found a sport he loves so much. 

Knoxville, Tennessee: Posh Family Fun Meets the Smokies

Last week I had the pleasure of heading North to Tennessee and checking out the beautiful city of Knoxville, Tennessee. Knoxville is just under 3 hours from the Atlanta area and is a nice, relaxing country side drive North. I'll admit that when I got the invitation from Visit Knoxville, I wondered a little about what all Knoxville could offer a jaded family travel writer like me. Turns out, there is a lot in Knoxville to do and enrich your mind with. Our tour of the city was fast and furious at just about 24 hours but we got to get peeks at a lot of what the city has to offer.

First I will tell you about all the wonderful sites I was able to visit and take a peek at, then I will tell you about our culinary adventures in Knoxville later in the week.

The first stop on our tour was our hosting hotel, the Oliver. After I got checked in and went up to check out my room, I was immediately impressed with how well they had preserved the history of the old hotel but added those ever so nice modern day touches that we all seem to need so badly these days. Thinks like large, flat screen tvs and enough electrical outlets to power a house mixed with lush period furniture and a well appointed mini bar. Not to mention the plush king sized bed with plenty of soft, squishy pillows to surround myself with after a day of touring.

As soon as we got settled into our rooms, we had cocktails at the Peter Kern Library inside the Oliver and were treated to lunch by the adjoining Tupelo Honey Cafe. More on that later.


After we had stuffed ourselves silly, we took off on a caravan tour of downtown Knoxville. We passed the historic courthouses and theaters. Took a ride up into the Sunsphere and surveyed the beautiful spread of Worlds Fair Park. The Sunsphere itself is an attraction that warrants a good look over. Built in 1987 for the World's Fair, it is 266' of shiny, 24 karat plated glass that offers gorgeous views of the city with the Tennessee river winding through it. From the observation deck, you can see the smokies or your can see the bustling downtown area. Every where you look is a sight to be seen.

After that, we got a tour of the South's Finest Chocolate Factory. It was cool to see the inner workings of the chocolate factory that supplies caramels to Biltmore house. For 30 years this manufacturing facility and retail store, located in downtown Knoxville, has been open to the public and on any given day you can see a variety of candy making techniques in action. We got to sample some of the most amazing chocolate covered cherries I have ever tasted. This little hideaway of a candy kitchen is a must see for all those chocolate lovers out there.


Then it was a short walk up to the Knoxville Museum of Art. Free to the public, the museum celebrates the art and artists of East Tennessee, "presents new art and new ideas, educates and serves a diverse community, and enhances Knoxville’s quality of life". I can definitely agree with all of that. We witnessed the art of Knoxville's past and present in the upstairs galleries but the downstairs galleries were in transition. Guess I'll have to make a trip back up!




Of course after dinner at Knox Mason, it was time to waddle back to the hotel and prepare ourselves for a treat at the Tennessee Theatre. We were lucky enough to get to attend the opening night of the Broadway musical Mary Poppins. Now, if you have never seen the show, you need to. Seriously the most energetic show I have ever seen. The real treat though was the Tennessee Theatre. I shared a little last week about its history and similarities to the Fox here in Atlanta but I have to say the Tennessee's grandeur, although on a very different scale, could give the Fabulous Fox a run for its money. The Tennessee is easily half the size of the Fox, if not smaller but the attention to detail during the renovations is astounding. The colors are bright, the ambiance endearing, and the acoustics right on par.

The next morning we woke bright and early to a snow covered Knoxville. It was a beautiful and relaxing surprise but it did put a hamper on our plans for the day. We did get to do our tour of the Tennessee Theatre, which was still hauntingly gorgeous the next day. We got to hear about the renovations and how they came up with color schemes and how they had the carpet rewoven new to match the exact same pattern as it was before. It was a real treat to me considering history and theatre are two of my biggies.

We were supposed take a tour of the Knoxville Zoo after the theater but considering the snow, it got cut out. I have heard it is a definite must see if you are in the area though. Along with several other of Knoxville's little hidden treasures like the World's Largest Rubiks Cube or taking a tour on the river boat, the Star of Knoxville, down the grand Tennessee river.

Truth is, what ever you are looking for in a family vacation, you are likely to find it in Knoxville. They have a little of everything and it is in a central location that lends itself to a perfect weekend trip from just about anywhere. Honestly, I think it might be better for families with more of a middle to high school range aged children. The age that would appreciate the arts and history of Knoxville. Something they place great pride in and something that is well worth seeing. With a lack of younger children's attractions like a children's museum (which they say is coming soon), the little ones just might get lost in the mix.

To learn more check out Visit Knoxville online or down load the app to your smartphone. To learn more about each venue, simply click the highlighted link through out! Be sure to check back later this week for all about my culinary tour of Knoxville!

Save $5 Off pp at Marietta Mountasia Family Fun Center!

Who here in Atlanta is ready for Spring? I know I am! I am ready for some warmer weather and some outdoor fun! Even better if you can save a little money while your doing too, right?

If you are on the top side of the perimeter, odds are good you are familiar with Mountasia Marietta. If not, you definitely should be! Mountasia Marietta offers a ton of fun outdoor and indoor family fun activities including mini golf, go karts, and an indoor game room. With tons of pricing options and of course several awesome birthday party packages and fundraising options, they have enough fun for all of Atlanta year round!

Right now, I have an exclusive coupon just for my RMM family! For a limited time, download the coupon* Save $5 Off Per Person. That means you can enjoy the Champ pass for only $19.99 plus tax! Where else can you go for all day entertainment plus a $5 video game credit for under 20 bucks?

You have two ways to grab your coupon. You can grab it by online purchase or print out the paper coupon and take it to the counter at Mountasia Marietta to redeem it for your pass. Which ever way you choose, go ready to have a blast!

*Mobile coupons not accepted, so please print and bring with or order ahead online!

Au Revoir 2013

Well, 2013 has come and gone. Even at its worst, its been better than some of the previous years. I won't complain. I've found happiness and joy in 2013. I've lost and I've gained. Admittedly, I have been rather absent in 2013 as well. Call it a mental health year I guess.

Still, there were a lot of memories made. Just like years past, I want to share some of my favorites from the year with you. Even when my heart isn't in it completely, I do still love to share my little corner of the world with all of you.

In January, I spent some time getting my groove back and battling the Thursdays.

February brought our Staycation in the ATL and we welcomed Spring with open arms. 

March was a month of exploring new cities and spending time in a beautiful place. 

April saw the joy of two handsome boys and the shock of a nation.

In May, I bought my shiny and took a little trip with my boys.

June brought us to the Braves game and a little relaxation time at the local beach.

In July, we got a ridiculous amount of rain but we still found time for some fun.

August saw our television debut!

October meant a partial Hootie

September, November, and December were unfortunately quiet around here though. Like I said, mental health... months? That doesn't mean there wasn't fun times to be had, just that there were so many I didn't share. 

As for the 2013 list? It was a big failure this year. I hate it and its really bothered me in the last couple of months but there just didn't seem to be enough time this year. Of course that just means that next year will bring some of the same challenges but I am okay with that. I am more than ready to bring the A game and get it done for the new year. 

What are you looking forward to in the new year?

Atlanta Botanical Garden is Shining "Green" This Winter!

Garden Lights, Holiday Nights not only offers an enchanting in-town experience but also is one of the largest light shows in the country, shimmering nearly 1 million energy-efficient bulbs.

The show, set for November 16 - January 4 at the Atlanta Botanical Garden, will feature almost exclusively LED lights, or special light-emitting diodes, continuing the Garden’s commitment to environmental sustainability. LED lights consume up to 80 percent less electricity than incandescent lights and have a life span more than double that of such traditional lights – five years or more. To further increase energy efficiency, new timing controls allow the Garden to minimize the number of hours the lights are on, providing a large-scale show with small-scale power consumption.

As part of an ongoing partnership, the Garden will use green energy from Georgia Power for the holiday exhibition. To ignite this winter wonderland, energy produced from renewable resources will be added to the power grid in an amount equal to what the show consumes. Georgia Power’s green energy sources include solar power and biomass, such as landfill gas burned to produce steam for power generation.

“We are thrilled to continue our green practices this holiday season with Garden Lights, Holiday Nights,” said Mary Pat Matheson, the Garden’s President and CEO. “Implementing an energy-efficient plan will maximize our opportunity to showcase – and serve – our environment among a host of lights and colors for a magnificent experience.”

Open nightly from 5 until 10 p.m., Garden Lights, Holiday Nights, showcases enormous botanical inspired light displays throughout the 30-acre Midtown attraction. For ticket information, visit Garden Admissions, atlantabotanicalgarden.org or call 1-GLHN-TIX (1-855-454-6849).

Kicks Country Fair at Verizon Ampitheater

Six

My sweet baby D,

What a little man you have turned into! Recently you started Kindergarten and I'm not going to lie, it kind of broke your Mama's heart! Not that you aren't ready, I'm not ready! You stepped into the role of elementary school student like it was no big deal. A little shy but still the one that every one knows. Everyone talks about how sweet and cute you are. The most common comment is "those eyes!".

It doesnt surprise me though. You are a handsome little man. You are looking a little more like me lately too instead of a straight copy of your daddy. You are growing up.

Of course you have the most amazing personality to go along with the looks too. You are sweet. Genuinely sweet. You like for everyone to be happy and you will play with anyone.  You are kind hearted too. You giving and caring and just... sweet. I love that about you. Ive said it before but you are always so wise beyond your years.

Not to say you dont love to play. You love anything that is physical and involves lots of energy. I have you signed up to take hip hop dance classes and you want to be in the school musical that is coming up. I think keeping you busy keeps you sane. You love to be social and being active while being social is even better. Maybe we will try a sport again this spring.

You and your brother are the best of friends though. You two are trouble together but you are such amazing playmates. You are always sure to involve your little brother in whatever game you are playing,  even when he takes over and changes the rules so that he wins.

Tonight, when I told you it was bed time, you asked if I would tuck you in and sing you your song. I told you I would, just like every night, and you said "Even if I'm six?". D, I will sing to you, hold you in my arms, and love you through and through every night, every moment you'll let me, for your whole life. I love you so very much. The moments when you curl up in my lap, arms and legs overflowing, and snuggle into my chest is what keeps me going sometimes. You love big and you love your Mama most. I hope thats always the case because I know no matter what else life throws at us, that will never change.

I love you my big boy.

Love, Mama

Four

My handsome little monster,

I know I say it every year but I just can not believe you are four years old. You are no longer a toddler but a preschool aged kid now. To say that the last four years have flown by would be the understatement of the century. It seems like last week we were awaiting your arrival and getting nervous that you would make your appearance on your brother's birthday. I was filled with excitement on meeting your little self and nervousness of being a mother of two.

Your little personality was clear right from the start. You are the boss. You came out and we all immediately started dancing to your, sometimes offbeat, tune. Truth be told though, we love it. You keep everyone in their place and make sure we stay on task.

You are also a big lover. You are and in your face kind of love monster that will not be ignored. You will climb up in my lap and get right in my face with your eyes all wide and kiss me right in the mouth before exclaiming your love for me over and over. You're like that with a lot of people really but you are still a mama's boy through and through. Mama is your favorite and you don't care who knows it.

You and your brother have gotten into the sibling rivalry big time this year. Whatever D has or does, you are right there behind him. Its been hard for you for D to have started Kindergarten this year. You miss your idol. You've done really good about being patient and entertaining yourself and me while he was at school though. You are going to be such a class clown.

I'm proud of you baby. I try to say it often but I want you to know and remember just how proud of you I am. Always will be really. You are strong willed and handsome and goofy and lovey and you are my son. How did I ever get so very lucky?

Love, Mama

Shelf Safe Milk: A Mama's Best Secret Weapon #MilkUnleashed

With two growing boys, milk is a big part of my family's diet. We go through several gallons of milk a week easy and its the one thing we have to "emergency run" to the grocery store for every time. Now though, we have discovered the next best thing to that option. Have you heard of shelf safe milk? Its perfect because we can easily keep milk on hand for a longer period without worry.

Shelf safe milk is considered ultra high temperature pasteurized milk (over 280 degrees Fahrenheit vs 180 for regular pasteurization) that is packaged in an eco friendly Tetra Pak carton. This means that it can be stored on the pantry shelf, at room temperature, for much longer than refrigerated milk. No fancy additives or dangerous preservatives need be added. Of course you can get shelf safe milk in flavors like chocolate or strawberry though.

The best part for me, and what I mentioned earlier is that shelf safe milk does not require refrigeration until the packaging is opened. Seriously. You can keep healthy, great tasting back up milk in your pantry. Just open and use when needed. In general shelf safe milk can be stored for around six months! (Always check your expiration dates!)

The tetra packs come in a variety of sizes perfect for lunches, camping and of course your purse or diaper bag as a back up! I have used them in the past as ice packs for the cooler even. Freeze them the night before and by lunch time the next day, the contents of your cooler are cold and your milk is the perfect temperature for drinking!

Ready to learn more about Milk Unleashed? Check out the Milk unleashed website in English or French and be sure tolike them on Facebook to learn more great ways shelf safe milk can benefit your family!

*This post is brought to you by Milk Unleashed and The Motherhood. All opinions are – as always – honest and my own.

Time Saving Tips and Tricks (AKA Our Television Debut!)

Earlier this week, we made our television debut! I was approached by Fox 5 Atlanta about doing a short segment on some tips and tricks for busy parents. Now I want to share those tips and tricks with you as well as our five minutes of fame!

You can ready the whole story on the Fox 5 Atlanta website as well. Tell me what you think!

Summer Lovin'

It has been an awesome summer. The boys and I have gotten some good sun, some amazing food, and even more fun. We have ouspent more time outside this summer than we have been able to in the past and we are all both enamored and exhausted.

There have been the countless days spent in the water. We go to the "beach" at the lake and have spent the day swimming and cooking out and just generally relaxing and bonding and having great fun as a family. The boys have really enjoyed playing in the water way more than the sand, which was not something I expected. I really thought that Littles at least would enjoy building and crashing sand castles but they would much rather be floating around in the water.



We also spent some time checking out the local water parks. The county we used to live in opened a new aquatics center this spring and we have enjoyed going and splashing around. We checked out several of the local YMCA's pools and such too. Some better than others but definitely none as much fun as White Water.

This year was the first year that the boys have been able to go to White Water and they have absolutely fallen in love. The first time we went it was just D, a close friend, and me. D had so much fun riding all the rides and it wasn't busy so we rode most of them at least twice, spending about 5 hours. The second time we went, we took K. I have to say the littles completely had us stunned. He rode everything he was tall enough for and wanted to ride the ones he wasn't. I thought he would hate it but he had more fun than D!


Speaking of general kid fun, the boys also got to ride their first go karts this summer and they are hooked. Here again though, it was K that seemed to be more enthused about getting to do it. Baby loves him some speed.

All in all, its been an amazing kind of Summer break. Soon, D heads to Kindergarten though and everything is going to be a whole lot different. I'm sad that our Summer is coming to a close but I am also ready to move on into birthday season and all the fun that Fall has to offer.

Rain, Rain, Go Away

The rain in Atlanta this year has been absolutely unreal. Its almost gotten to the point where I may have forgotten what it is like to not have it rain for 24 hours. Completely ridiculous. It does this constantly.


If that did give you and idea here is a more blatant case in point:

• The usual rainfall in Atlanta for the month of June over the last 5 years: 2.5 inches.
• The rainfall recorded for Atlanta in June 2013 alone: 9.6 inches.

It's coming a flood! That's almost 4 times the rain average. I feel like we are floating away and July, so far, has seemed worse than June as far as rainfall. 

Of course that also means two things for us. The mosquitoes are ridiculously large and are coming in ridiculous quantities. I have seem more mosquito swarms this year than  I can ever remember. You can't step outside and not get bitten all over. Usually the mosquitoes don't even bother me, but this year they are out for what ever they can get. My poor, sweet tasting Monster is getting eaten alive this year.  It really surprised me to hear the other day that we are just now having our first West Nile virus case in Georgia with in the last week. Those little buggers are angry this year. 

All the rain also means we have had really great air quality this year too though. We haven't had a smog alert in 2013 at all yet and that is almost unheard of. I'd love to say that we could tell a difference in the air quality but between the rain and the mosquitoes we are never outside long enough to actually breathe very much. Sad but true. We also moved a mattress

I am hoping that all this cooler weather and rain will mean we will actually have a cold winter this year though. Maybe some good snow? Too much to ask from you Georgia? Probably. Last year we totally got jipped on the Winter front. It was warm til Christmas and we only really had a few days where we needed a coat of any kind. 

Its okay though. We have had some awesome sunny beach days and we have learned to just make the best of the rainy days. This weekend we went to White Water. In the rain. Where we got wet on top of our wet. No harm, no foul. This time.