What I Want for Mother's Day

This year, Mother's Day is a little different for me. Its the first after losing a baby. Its the first where I am looking forward to staying home all day and cooking out. Its the first I will celebrate as a single mother.

I was doing some thinking last night about what I really wanted for Mother's Day. What I would go buy myself if I had an unlimited amount of money. Chocolate? Don't care for it. Jewerly? Don't wear it. A card? They can't write. Finally I realized what I really wanted. The answer was simple.

I want my boys to know love.

Unconditional Love.


The kind of love that knows no bounds. That never judges or calls names. The kind that can see the good in the bad and the best of the worst. The kind that accepts them for what they are and changes as they change. The kind that grows with them. The kind that never deserts them.

I want them to live their lives knowing that their mama loves them so deeply within her soul that it aches when they are away. I want them to know that their mama, even if she gets frustrated, loves every single second of every single day she spends with them. I wouldn't trade a single second.

I want them to know that no matter what happens or what trials we go through, I will never leave them. Even if we aren't together. We are going to make it out on the other side bigger, brighter, and stronger than ever before. They are my strength and will. They make me strive to be the best person, the best woman, the best mama, I can be. They are with me everywhere they go and I am with them. I always will be.

So, while every one else is excited to spend time with their families going to a nice restaurant or having their husband take over for the day and (hopefully!) shower them with gifts, I will be enjoying my little boys to the absolute fullest. We are going to snuggle and play and run and giggle until we just can't anymore. Then we will rest. We will snuggle and just enjoy some books or even a nice nap. Then we will do it again.


Every. single. day.

I wouldn't trade a single second of any day with my boys for anything in this world. Not a single thing. Mother's Day is no exception. The physical things that you can get as gifts are great reminders of your child's love that you can carry with you but the love that I carry in my heart for them is priceless. I love these boys and they love me. Best. Gift. Ever.