See Mama Run

Run, run, run! It seems like all I am doing right now. Running to the store, running to a meeting, running to keep K from busting his face on the floor when he tries to climb the refrigerator. Kids definitely keep us busy. This week has been full of super fun things and super boring things but full of things nonetheless. This weekend? Is going to be even more of the same. Busy, busy, busy. Run, run, run.

Some days I wish I could chill on the couch and do nothing. Nothing at all, like I did before I had kids. Before I had a husband even. Just sit and watch TV and eat a sandwich while daydreaming about what it would be like to have kids of my own.

Then I snap to and realize that I do have kids of my own and they require every bit of my attention at all times and I honestly don't think I would ever want it any other way. I know they will grow up and not need me to follow them around anymore but I am in no rush for that to happen right now. Savoring this moment right here is so very important but also so very hard sometimes. Especially when you haven't eaten all day and your three year old just threw his chicken nuggets under the table.

So, here I am, in the middle of busy and slow down. Trying to keep a grasp on what is most important. The kids of course are number one but what else? Me? My house being clean? The laundry? The never ending errands?

I need to reorganize. Re-prioritize. Shake things up if you will. Its not something I like to do or something I am good at but being on the run all the time is not exactly ideal either. I think I need a nap just thinking about it....

Desicions, Desicions.

Could it be? Was the groundhog right? Early spring? I don't know if the weather we have been having is or isn't an early spring but man is it nice! Its been so warm and breezy and perfect. We  have spent the majority of every day outside for the last two weeks. A few of those days, we have stayed outside in the yard way after dark and enjoyed a cookout or even just sat and let the kids play.

Last weekend I got the foundation set for my garden area. I got all the dead herbs out of it from last year and got all the roots and weeds dug out and then tilled it up really well. I got the area around the mail box ready for flowers and did some clean up around the front entry where it had obviously been neglected for many years.

Now comes the hard part though. Deciding what to plant. Do I plant some veggies in the garden area? Do I just go the easy route and plant some delicious herbs? What kind of herbs do I buy the most? What about flowers for the front? Do I buy annuals or perennials? Something that blooms now or later or never?

I wish this was an easier task. I am just too fickle. I really would love to grow my own organic veggies. I think that is probably the most money conscious thing but there is not a huge space alotted for it. Granted we could expand the space but most every thing I have ever tried to grow in the past has died and withered away within a few months so I am not wanting to invest a huge chunk in it this year anyway.

I think I may go with some Zinnias or Peonies, both of which I love. Dr. Google says that both are relatively easy to grow but the Zinnias will bloom summer wise better. I may just go the easy, cheap route and get the Pansies that T thinks are the only think I can keep alive. Its like he knows.

This weekend I intend on going to the local grower and checking out what they have and get some professional advice instead of trying to figure it all out for myself. This is the one part of the 2011 list that I really don't want to screw up on this year. I need to be able to keep something alive that isn't human before I even go there with a living, breathing pet.. Is that weird? To practice on plants? Oh, well. Its my thought process at least.

Have any of you ever planted a garden like this? Any advice for an extreme novice?

EcoMom Review & Giveaway

If you have been around here long, you know that I tend to go for the "greener" things. IF you have been a parent for long, then you know why I am that way. Chemicals are in everything and that scares me. Especially where my kids are involved.


Recently I was contacted by EcoMom.com about their site. They asked if I would be interested in pairing with them and hosting a review of one of their products. After looking oevr their site I was a little more than enthusiastic about working with them.

They have a little of everything you guys. From baby food to clothing to pre and post natal supplies for mom. The best part? They strive to make sure that all of their products are safe for your family, your home and our environment. Its always nice to see a company as dedicated and passionate about being green as EcoMom.


They sent me one of the Green Toys dump trucks for the boys to test out and let me tell you, they have put it through its paces. That poor truck has been inside and out, in the mud and over the coffee table. Their favorite game is to pile up the bucket with all sorts of things and then dump them out. Things varying from their toys to 17 month old K have been in the back of that dump truck, pushed around the house and then dumped back out into neat little piles. I am proud to report that even after all that "testing" it still looks like it just came out of the box. A little soap and water is all I have needed to keep it looking brand new and shiny, shiny.

My favorite thing about the Green Toys dump truck though is that it is made of recycled milk jugs and has no metal axles! How stinking space age and neat is that?? It is made in the USA too so you know that you are supporting our economy. Plus, both the dump truck and the packaging are 100% recyclable. Can't get much greener than that, can you?


So, you want to get you own Green Toys dump truck now, right? Well, you can't have ours but you can absolutely head over to EcoMom and buy your very own for only $25 (which is a steal for a green toy, especially one this awesome). Lucky you can even save 15% on the truck or anything else you want at EcoMom by using the code SBBL278 before February 28th, 2011. That code is for your entire purchase too so be sure to check out some of their other stuff too.


Now, how about I give one of you $15 to spend as you please at EcoMom? Does that sound like a good thing to you? Thought so. Here is how to enter:


Mandatory entry: Visit EcoMom.com and tell me what products you are most interested in. What is your favorite and why.


You can also get extra entries by doing one or all of the following but be sure you leave a seperate comment for each one!


~ Follow Render Me Mama via GFC, email subscription or RSS and leave a comment telling me you did so. (Its over there --->)


~"Like" Render Me Mama on Facebook and leave a comment with your name. (Can be first name and last initial)


~ "Like" the EcoMom Facebook page and let me know your name.


~ Check out the EcoMom blog and tell me what post is your favorite and what you learned from it.


~ Follow EcoMom on Twitter and leave your Twitter handle in your comment.


~Tweet this once a day and leave a link to the tweet in your comment: Come check out @RenderMeMama's review and enter for a chance to win a $15 gift certificate to EcoMom.com! #Giveaway #NaturalLiving


Thats it! Easy peasy! Good luck to all of you! The winner will be drawn 2/25 @ noon and contacted via email so be sure your email is either in your entry comments or is visible in your blogger profile!


*The Green Toys dump truck was provided to me free of charge for review purposes but I was not otherwise compensated and all opinions are my own and honest to a fault.

Music Tuesday?

*Ok, ok. I know I am all out of order this week but my mind is all in a blob in my brain and I really did think it was Monday but by the time I realized it wasn't I already had this all typed out and such but I really don't want to let it get lost before next Monday so now we are just going to go with Music Tuesday this week. Forgive me. Just this once? Please?*

Music is a huge part of Tommy and I's relationship. Its something we bonded over in the beginning and still connect with now.  I will be posting the lyrics to a song and what it means to me every Monday (hopefully). At least until I run out of interesting things to say (Or I forget). Make sense? Feel free to do your own but please link back to me and add your site to the comments below!


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King of Anything by Sara Bareilles



Keep drinking coffee, stare me down across the table
While I look outside
So many things I’d say if only I were able
But I just keep quiet and count the cars that pass by

You’ve got opinions, man
We’re all entitled to ‘em, but I never asked
So let me thank you for your time, and try not to waste anymore of mine
And get out of here fast

I hate to break it to you babe, but I’m not drowning
There’s no one here to save

Who cares if you disagree?
You are not me
Who made you king of anything?
So you dare tell me who to be?
Who died and made you king of anything?

You sound so innocent, all full of good intent
Swear you know best
But you expect me to jump up on board with you
And ride off into your delusional sunset

I’m not the one who’s lost with no direction
But you’ll never see
You’re so busy making maps with my name on them in all caps
You got the talking down, just not the listening

And who cares if you disagree?
You are not me
Who made you king of anything?
So you dare tell me who to be?
Who died and made you king of anything?

All my life I’ve tried to make everybody happy
While I just hurt and hide
Waiting for someone to tell me it’s my turn to decide

Who cares if you disagree?
You are not me
Who made you king of anything?
So you dare tell me who to be?
Who died and made you king of anything?

Who cares if you disagree?
You are not me
Who made you king of anything?
So you dare tell me who to be?
Who died and made you king of anything?

Let me hold your crown, babe.



Ok, so you can't tell me that any mother out there can not identify with this song.Who died an made any one the king of your life? Since when did anyone know how to raise your children, your family, better than you? Every one has an opinion. An opinion on how you should do it and what you are doing wrong and how they can help you be a better parent.  Its like as soon as people find out your are growing that teeny little bean in your uterus they assume you want their advice. How dare them tell you who to be? How to live? You don't have to agree with how I raise my children but don't dare challenge me and tell me how to do it your way. You are not me.

Am I right??

Lucky

I am the luckiest Mama on the planet. These little boys, man. These little boys have a hold on me like I would never even have thought possible. They really are my little princes. My little Mama's boys through and through.

The best part to me is being able to stay home with them. I get to spend every moment with them. I get to see all of their milestones. I get to teach them things. I love knowing what they are singing or talking about because I was the one who taught them or at least was there with them. I love knowing their moods so intently and being able to adjust to them and what they need day to day.

Are there days where they are driving me crazy and I envy the working moms? Oh yeah. Is it hard? Oh hell yes. Some days I have to do the things that working moms do only I have two little tag alongs pulling me in opposite directions every ten feet. Add in the home school activities we do and trying to keep the house clean and it takes fifteen minutes to answer one email.

Granted I have it a little different than most SAHMs because I have absolutely no help during the day. Ever. Its like being a single, stay home mom. Two of the hardest jobs on the planet simultaneously. Dancing to the tune of two little tyrants, one of which can't even tell you what he wants half the time, can get old. Really old...

Then.. they crawl in your lap, kiss you on the cheek and say "I love you, Mama" and all of the frustration and the exhaustion melts away. Suddenly its all worth it again. The juggle. I wouldn't trade one single afternoon of trying to fit the park in to our hectic schedule for any amount of money or glory. Not one single second.

I hope that I never have to make that choice. Not until they are old enough to do their own thing. Of course I would if it meant not being able to meet their physical needs. Food and shelter win. I would in a heartbeat. Its a choice that so many moms make. The need for the money wins out to the desire to stay home. Some moms just don't want to stay home with their kids. Its not something I will ever understand but I can definitely respect. You have to do what you have to do to stay sane and happy.

For me though, there is no greater happiness than taking care of my boys full time. I am the luckiest woman on the planet to have this literal once in a lifetime job. They grow up so fast. Fame and fortune will just have to wait for me.

In Hiding

Thats me. I have been hiding from all of my social media outlets this week. Turned my Twitter notifications off and hid from the blog posts lurking in the back of my mind. I needed a reboot. A reboot to set my self straight on where I am going with all this. A reboot to organize my priorities. A chance to chase some other ventures. Playing with the boys and pining for spring.

I am having a harder time than I care to admit bouncing back from Christmas and the past month. I am so tired all the time. I know its part weather, part pain and part loss but I really need to get back on my feet.

So, tonight, I am going to get some supplies to start my plants. I am going to try to pick out some flowers and seeds to start for the garden. We have the perfect spot on the sill in our kitchen to give the seeds the sun and warmth they need to get ready for the real spring. I am hoping that having a little green and a project around will help out with the blahs.

I am telling you all of this, not to apologize for my absence but to let you know that I am coming back. Coming back with a renewed vigor to get this thing going in a better way. I am working rearranging some things around here. Thinking about putting in some ad space and I will be doing some more reviews. In the last week I have realized that I need to open this blog up more. Expand its horizons so that we can both grow. I have never been a shrinking Violet and I have no intention of allowing RMM to go that route either.

So, hang in there. If any one out there has any advice or guiding words, I would love to hear it. Or, if you ever just want to talk or vent or tell me that you hate my guts, feel free to do just that. My contact info is linked in the bar above. I would love to hear from you.

Buckle up, lets ride.

10 Promises to My Children

My boys are my legacy. My heart and soul outside my body. These are the promises I want to keep for them from now on. They are things I may not have been great about in the past but from here on out, the dude abides. Of course there are more than these but these are the big ten. The ten that will not change as they age.

I will never knowingly endanger you. Emotionally or physically. 

 I will never strike you. In anger, in warning or response. I don't believe it will ever get either of anything but pain. Literally or figuratively.

I will always be available to you when you need me. Even if you think I am too busy or too old, I am always here with open arms and ears. I may not always agree with you but I will always help you and respect your decisions.

I will try to model the behaviors I expect from you. Politeness, fairness, honesty, forgiveness and all of the others. I want you to stay perfect, so I have to try to be too.

I promise I will always applaud your effort. Failures aid in making the person. Without failure, there is no success. 

I promise to try to give you freedom where I can. Sometimes its not possible or safe but you will learn best from experience.

I promise to acknowledge when I am wrong. Nobody is perfect, especially not your mama.

I promise to be fair. Sometimes that means saying no to things you really want. Sometimes it means saying yes to things you don't. I love you still the same.

I will never talk poorly of you where you can hear me. Even if I think you aren't listening. My job is to build you up, not tear you down.

I will always love you. No matter what happens. No matter where life takes you. No matter what path you take. You will always be my baby and my love for you will never falter, waver or fail.

Loss

Last week, Tommy lost a friend. Not ever a good situation but in this case, it was the worst. T was bathing the boys on Tuesday night after a nice, relaxing family night, when the call came in from his parents. His best friend's brother had committed suicide. He was only 25.

Tommy is understandably shaken. He had known him for many, many years and had always enjoyed his personality. An awesome mix of humor and kindness you don't just see a lot. He was so loved by his family and friends. A man with an infectious laugh that loved to be surrounded by his friends. Tommy knew that he had problems in the past but you never expect someone to carry that with them. All that pain and self hate. Tommy has never been this close to someone that felt the only way out was to take their own life.

I have been here before. Grieving painfully over the loss of a friend that couldn't take it anymore. Its a demon that haunts me. I didn't know this man all that well but I still feel the pain. Its so hard to lose someone that you loved when they no longer saw the joy. Its so hard to understand.  

"How they could do this to me."

It leaves a wave of pain and questions that will never have answers. Still, still there is the love. The love for the one that left and love for the ones left behind. The love of friends that will do anything to try and make the pain stop for those closest. The love of the closest for the one who made them cry. The love from strangers and distance. The love that restores faith in people. That makes the pain just a little easier to struggle through.

I have seen so much of that love this week. From the small things to the big. I am glad we were able to be there for T, for his family and his friends. From long, hard hugs to hosting 150 people at our house for lunch after the funeral. I hope it restored a little of that hole left by the loss of a friend. If you are able, please keep the Manon family in your thoughts and prayers. Their pain is immeasurable and every little bit helps.




*Suicide is never the answer. No matter how bad things are, no matter how much you hurt, no matter what happens there is always help. Please, call a friend or go to the ER. There are multiple outreach programs that can help as well. Life IS good and someone loves you more than you can even imagine.