Things I've Said to My Children...

... I never thought I would have to say out loud to another human.

"Get your hands out of your pants and eat your dinner."

"How did that bug taste?"

"Please don't lick the dog."

"Don't growl at strangers."

"It is cool that the neighbors cat runs up that tree everytime you chase him but that doesn't make it okay."

"Go sniff your brother for me and see if he smells."

"Well look at that, you can kiss your own belly button."

"Don't pee on your brother."

"I know you had to go, but pooping in the grass like a dog is not okay."

"No, I can't see the pee in there. Pull up your pants, we're in Target."

"Don't put rocks/ shoes/ dirt/ that in your mouth."

"Did you rub jelly all over your brother?"

"Did you brush your teeth? Let me smell."

"As a matter of fact, I am fairly sure the dog did not ask you to rub butt paste in his ears."

Parenthood is fun, no? What are some things you have had to say out loud that you would never have dreamed before kids?