Four

My D,

What a little man you are becoming, baby! I am just astounded at how grown up you have seemed to me lately. You have grown from that snuggly little chunk of energy to a much larger chunk of energy!  You wake up a man on the move and you do not slow down for one second until your head hits the pillow at night. You are sometimes exhaustively rambunctious but you are all love and you are all awesome. Four year old awesome!

I love you so much little man. Sometimes I wish there was a bigger word than love to express how I feel about you. I remember the day you were born like it was yesterday. You came into the world the wrong way up and have shown the same determination to do things your way ever since. I think about how little you seemed that first night. All snuggled up on my arms, sleeping like a little angel. From the very first day of your life, you have had this amazing presence. You really did fill a place in my heart that I didn't know was empty. You filled it right up and made me a whole person. You completed everything that I didn't know was missing and you just keep doing it.

You have always been a very physical little guy. You have always hit your milestones months (years even!) before you were supposed to. You love to run and jump and scare your mama with your unabashed enthusiasm for life! You love to dance and can memorize a dance routine off of the television after only watching it one time. If there is music and no dance, you are perfectly willing to make up your own. I will never cease to be amazed at your grace when you dance either. You have perfect balance and timing. You have amazing rhythm and we always say you are going to make a great musician one day like your daddy.

You have an enigmatic personality to go with your physical side as well. You are so smart and your mind goes as fast as you do. Always working, thinking, figuring things out! You have such a silly side too. You love to laugh and make people laugh. You love to see how things work and are excellent at taking things apart and putting them back together. You love puzzles and things that require a process. You love to memorize things, books mostly, and repeat them back. You have a mind like a steel trap, kid. It doesn't take but once for you to learn something and then you never forget it.

You have a little trouble with words sometimes. They elude you and your little mind is happening as such lightening fast speed you can't be bothered to form them all into one coherent type sentence. We are working on it and you are making improvements on slowing down every day. Conversations with you are generally short and quick but full of an amazing process going on behind those eyes. You say what needs to be said and then you are off again on another whirlwind adventure!

Baby, I will never be able to tell you how much it warms my heart to see the way you light up when your little brother comes around. You love him with all of your little heart and soul. Sometimes I am even just a little jealous of you two. You are your brother's comforter, play mate and protector. You guys follow each other around, playing games and reading books together all day long and when it comes to bed time, you help me change him into his pajamas and read him books before giving him a kiss and telling him goodnight. You are so patient with him too. He is your little brother, his job is to annoy you but you always handle it with the grace and understanding of a much older child. I hope the two of you stay this way forever. Best buddies.

I just can't even describe the pride and love I feel when you come bounding in every morning asking how I slept and is it time for bruba to get up yet. Or how it warms my heart all the way through every time you say you love me or look me in the eyes and say whats on your mind. Even if sometimes, you have a hard time expressing those thoughts out loud. Watching you grow up has been hard on this mama but I wouldn't trade a single second of it for any thing else in the world. 

I can't wait to see what the next year holds for you D. For us. If its anything like that last year, things are about to get way more awesome. 

I love you my little man. 

Mama