Dieting Sucks

No really, it does. I am proud to announce I have done really well and actually managed to lose 8 pounds (?!?) this week but I can't say it isn't taxing. The thing is, I miss things. I miss the junk food. I miss having Starbucks for lunch or chugging a whole soda with dinner. The junk food that I promised myself I was going to avoid at all costs for two weeks is calling me from the store shelves. I walked through the grocery store last night and I swear I could hear the circus peanuts calling me from their aisle.

I catch myself constantly thinking about food. What I am going to eat the next time, what I have in the fridge that is healthy, where am I going to hide my snacks from T so he will stop eating them all in one sitting while I shower.

No really Tommy, stop eating all my snacks while I shower.

I realize that is a good change. The kind of change that was necessary in the long run. Consciously making the right choices on food instead of just grabbing whatever was closest or easiest and eating all of it. I had gotten in such a rut of eating on the go that I don't think I even realized what I was doing to myself anymore. I was getting so wrapped up in trying to keep up with the boys and their constant motion that I wasn't taking the time to think about myself and what I really needed to do to make me happy too. The crappy snacks all day long were sabotaging my health and my sanity.

I am actually sitting down and eating too which is a huge change for me. Usually I just eat on my feet while doing laundry or driving or cleaning or what have you. Sitting down though, its a conscious choice. I sit and I eat until I am full but not stuffed. That's the problem with eating on the go for me. I just keep eating until whatever it was is gone no matter how full I got.I was to distracted to realize just how much I was eating at one time.

I am also discovering the healthy foods I had forgotten I loved so much. Like spinach salad. I could (and pretty much have) eaten a spinach salad every day. Tasty, easy and healthy. Hard boiled eggs?Make an awesome, high protein snack after a workout.

Oh, and the work out thing. Yeah, not going so well. I seriously need some one to kick me in the ass and send me packing to the gym. Or at least for a walk. I spent a couple of days chasing the boys around the park but no actual workouts have happened. You would think that having lost 8 pounds (?!?) this week, I would be encouraged to see how much I could lose if I actually went to the gym but instead I have it worked up in my head to not go anyway. The goal is muscle though so I really need to get at it.

The end of the day, I can see the benefits. I can see the change. Still though, I miss my junk food. One more week of complete abstinence and I will start letting it seep back in. In moderation. Which is gonna be a trip. I am making progress though! Lets just hope I can keep it up. Eyes on the prize.